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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its either acceptable to drink coffee whilst holding a baby or not

28 replies

sleeplessinseatle · 13/10/2010 09:22

Grrr... went to a 'good neighbours' coffee morning which my Sure Start centre was providing the room for the community group.

Was told I was not allowed a coffee with my baby. I'd made a special trip to meet people, so said I'd have a glass of water instead... but baby wasn't even allowed in the same room as other people having coffee.

I know they need to be cautious but this seems a bit much! The council licences indoor playcentres to operate, which are allowed to serve coffee around dozens of babies and kids. The world is insane.

Has anyone ever been served coffee at a council run event/council building whilst in charge of baby? Would love to know, especially if you live in Manchester!

OP posts:
izzybiz · 13/10/2010 09:26

At the soft play centre I take my Dc's to, you are not allowed to have hot food in the under 3's area (this includes, toasties, paninis etc) yet you are allowed to have tea, coffee in there Hmm

CrazyPlateLady · 13/10/2010 09:26

Bloody OTT if you ask me.

Surely we are capable of standing away from the babies and having a hot drink. Does everyone leave the room at home to have a drink. FFS.

At our toddler group (not in a council building though) we have to stand by the hatch by the kitchen. It isn't a problem.

I'm assuming the council don't want to be sued if anything did happen. Another example of how ridiculous this culture has become where we sue for every little thing that should be down to the responsibility of the individual.

edam · 13/10/2010 09:27

That does sound extreme. It's up to the parent to judge risk, not the organisers to issue orders.

I was a bit neurotic about hot drinks near ds when he was an infant. Because my little sister once knocked freshly poured black coffee over herself (first time she'd ever pulled herself up to standing she HAD to do it next to black coffee...). I had lukewarm tea and coffee with loads of cold water added for his first six months. But that's my neurosis, not something I inflicted on other people. (Although I did quietly move hot drinks away from the edge of tables at toddler groups.)

edam · 13/10/2010 09:28

Crazy - it may well be the council's insurers who are being OTT, nothing to do with people actually suing. They just get ridiculously cautious when anticipating risk. Or even one of the organisers going beyond their brief.

BarringtonWomble · 13/10/2010 09:33

I think many things have probably gone ott wrt health and safety over the years, and yet on this issue I'm tempted to agree with the rule.

I can remember being worried many many times about hot drinks near my dc when they were babies.

So many people visiting wanted to hold my new babies and have a cup of tea at the same time. I'd only let them do one or the other.

I look back on those years and laugh about a few things I was probably over cautious about in those days, but not that. I still feel the same.

Having been badly burned and scarred by hot water I suppose I'm more edgy about it.

CrazyPlateLady · 13/10/2010 09:40

I didn't like people near my DS with hot drinks either.

My FIL who has parkinsons, once leant right over DS on the floor with a hot cup of tea in his hand. I had a fit. I also don't let toddlers or babies near a hot drink as I remember my cousin knocking my nans cup of tea over herself when she was little.

I do think having to completely leave the room is OTT though, whoever brought in that rule.

Oblomov · 13/10/2010 09:48

Health and safety gone mad.
I drank loads of boiling hot cups of tea whilst bf'ing. both ds1 and ds2. actually not that hot becasue i can't drink tea when it is too hot, but you know what i mean.
if someone else doesn't want to. or doesn't want hot drinks near their baby, i can understand and accept that.
But stop me doing it.
On what basis, can you tell me, I can't do this ?

Whitethorn · 13/10/2010 10:00

YANBU i have had many cups of coffee over my DD buuuut I had lunch with a friend and her 6 month old recently and the little boy pulled a bowl of soup over himself.
We rushed to the hospital but are not sure if he will be scarred.

It put me off holding babies and hot drinks for life. However as with all accidents, its rare.

Thatwasyesterday · 13/10/2010 10:01

At my Surestart Centre they do allow hot drinks around babies, but only in those lidded travel mugs.

Vallhalloween · 13/10/2010 10:03

I'd have liked to have seen someone try to tell me that I couldn't hold one of my babies and a cup of tea at the same time. Hmm

This sort of nanny state imperiousness only becomes the norm if we let people treat us like it. Challenge it, FGS!

cakewench · 13/10/2010 15:13

At my local Surestart we had coffee available at our breastfeeding support group. However, we had to move away from the babies in order to drink it. We were still in the same room with them, just not hanging right above them. (often the ladies running the group would hold the baby while we had a cup)

I am no big fan of health and safety but this seems sensible to me. I think many new parents don't see how easy it is for a baby to jostle your hand and send the hot drink all over them. Baby skin is much thinner than ours, and burns much easier. I have heard terrible stories from nurses about the burns babies have sustained from this sort of thing.

I think having two different rooms, though, is utterly ridiculous. Just keep a baby play area/ mats with baby gyms or whatever in one area, and the hot drinks in another.

trixie123 · 13/10/2010 15:25

I go to a playgroup that is run by some connection of sure start and they happily give us normal mugs of tea and coffee. Most of the babies are between 8-18 months so there is potential for accidents but guess what, people are careful! Christ, what IS wrong with the world (slinks off, mumbling...)

lifeinagoldfishbowl · 13/10/2010 15:27

Our local surestart centres - I attend 2 different ones allow us to have tea/coffee/hot drinks whilst with the children.

I am a nanny and although I don't tend to get many hot drinks during the day - either to busy to make or it gets cold before I get to drink it but I will drink hot tea around the children I look after. And recently have helf friends babies whilst having a cup of tea :)

PutTheKettleOn · 13/10/2010 15:32

ummm, having just made a cup of tea one-handed while BF at the same time, I think this is a bit insane! I guess if there are crawling babies and cups of tea on the floor you have to be careful, but then most people are not idiots!

Firawla · 13/10/2010 15:34

yabu, why do you want to take the risk with your baby. it wont harm anyone to have their coffee while not holding their baby. okay the being in a different room is ott but they are definitely not bu to ask people not to hold hot drinks and baby @ the same time. imo it is quite a stupid and reckless thing to do. some people in the thread come across with a bragging attitude about it sort of "oh look at me i am not pfb i have hot drinks next to my baby, and i bf with a hot coffee next to their head" or whatever else - well if they do get scalded it would be totally your own fault, would you not feel guilty? its nothing to brag about

MsSparkle · 13/10/2010 15:34

My local childrens centre has banned all hot drinks altogether, as well as the groups they run in church hallsSad

Think it is very ott.

ForMashGetSmash · 13/10/2010 15:36

Sure Star are notorious on here...some people like it but others have complained that they over-manage parents....it's due to it being basically almost an early intervention programme for the education of parents.

People assume its a nice play group thingie...which it partly is....but their main purpose s to target lower income or at risk parents and educate them So it stands to reason that if you are already a bright and sensible person you won't take kindly to the "advice" offered. I never go near the places personally

ForMashGetSmash · 13/10/2010 15:36

Meant Surestart...not Sure Star!

prettybird · 13/10/2010 15:39

My breast feeding support group run by the breast feeding counsellors at the maternity hopsital used to supply us with tea while we were feeding! Grin

But then, they were sensible, common sense ladies. :)

HowToShoutSoHusbandsWillListen · 13/10/2010 15:40

Having seen first hand the result of a small baby having coffee spilt on him - first response team, amubulance, morphine, sedation, horrible scarring (thankfully not permanant)- I'm probably more careful than most when it comes to hot drinks atound children.

I still think OP experience OTT but I do think some kind of middle ground "rules" would be good - at least to raise awareness.

Eg I attended an under ones group recently that supples drinks in lidded cups. Good, but I saw two different occasions of a crawler picking up a cup and tilting it/raising to mouth. Thankfully both were empty but as a number of new mums (ie with non-moving babies, probably not conditioned yet to think of that kind of risk) had their full cups on the floor next to them I did find it worrying.

katkit · 13/10/2010 15:53

i think it's fair. on monday i was out for a drink with 2 friends and our 3 babies. i was having an orange juice, so got my dd out of pushchair. friend got a coffee. her dd put her fingers in the coffee, so friend's instinct was to push the cup away- right into the clasp of my dd, who tipped it up.

cue an ambulance to hospital. my dd is totally fine now- thank goodness.

seems to me that 3 babies does't mean 3x risk, it means 10x risk, as it only takes one to create a diversion for an accident to happen.

sorry, i think i just wanted to offload. but i'd say YABU.

PutTheKettleOn · 13/10/2010 15:54

Firawla, if I didn't drink tea/coffee while BF I would never get to drink any at all, certainly in the first 2 months of DD's life anyway. And if I didn't drink tea or coffee I fear I would probably be the first recorded death from sleep deprivation Grin

I think a little common sense is all that's needed.

cobbledtogether · 13/10/2010 15:57

I have to say YABU because my son was scalded at 18months by a hot cup of tea at a community centre.

You can be as grown up and careful as you like but accidents can happen very easily around small children. It takes seconds.

He's now 4. He still has to wear pressure garments at night and frankly that was the least painful and intrusive treatment he had.

I still have nighmares and flashbacks about having to hold my toddler down as he screamed in agony whist they changed his dressings. Later when he was old enough to speak hearing him beg me "mummy make it stop" pretty much drove me close to a breakdown.

If the rules stop one child from being scalded like that then its a good thing.

Sorry if this seems a bit OTT. I am not scaremongering, but what I've written here isn't the worst of what burns treatment can be.

Have a drink of water. You can drink hot drinks as much as you like around your own children. I'd rather no one did around mine.

wouldliketoknow · 13/10/2010 15:59

not hot drink or food around under 5s in the south east,we just don't have a kettle so it's squash all around!!

PutTheKettleOn · 13/10/2010 16:08

ooh, katkit and babyheave, what awful stories, I hope your DC are ok now. Must admit I am much more cautious with hot drinks around DD1 who is 2.5. I do think a mum being refused a hot drink because she has a young baby is OTT though!

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