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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have judged about half of my daughters class

324 replies

fernie3 · 11/10/2010 22:10

Or their parents that is. They are 6 and they came home with a letter saying could we cut the labels off foods so that the children wouod make a map of where the food they eat came from....with the implication being that they needed to bring a little bunch each as they were going to have their own maps.

So i spent a week peeling labels off things which looked interesting for her to take, she came home that day and she had only had one label to stick on her map because the teacher had had to share her labels out to people that didn't bring any - so that means at least 10 children hadn't brought any at all.

Now I know it's stupid and petty and maybe i just have label rage from spending so long trying to peel labels off jars without ripping them or making the writing hard to read Blush but it's not that hard is it just cut out a label or two and drop it in the book bag...

The teacher couldn't have done the original plan without the labels and the children get the message that it's optional to do these things.

AIBU to feel a bit judgey?

OP posts:
spikeycow · 12/10/2010 15:01

Um, I don't care about their stupid ideas, that's the point. I haven't got time to prepare classroom activities. Nothing to do with not caring about education. Like I said, homework gets done, they have the books from WHSmiths etc. I just don't do tat.

snowmama · 12/10/2010 15:11

This thread sums up for me why I am dreading my DS going to school next year. My situation and opinions are pretty much the same as spikey's although she puts if far more directly and eleoquently than I could!

I will be that rubbish mum... I am up early back home late. Weekends are for doing a family activity with the DC and getting everything prepped for the next week. Adding another school related chore will not be a trivial or simple job simply to add in.

... I did well at school and uni - my parents never involved themselves in my homework - has something changed ?

MillyR · 12/10/2010 15:24

Surely the point of homework is that it is meant to be educational. If your homework is to do some sums, or a collage with your parent, you are learning something.

If your homework is that you are to tell your parents to peel some labels off some jars, and then you watch them doing it, you are learning absolutely nothing.

You will learn something in the school lesson when you take in the prepared labels, but in that case your parents aren't educating you, they are merely acting as unpaid educational materials preparer for school.

So all these claims that people who don't peel labels to order aren't interested in educating their child are ludicrous. Most of the things a child learns prior to secondary school are from experiences outside of school. The school is there to support me in the entire educational experience I provide for my child as a parent and for which I am ultimately responsible, not the other way around.

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 15:24

yes snowmama, it's called progress.

MillyR · 12/10/2010 15:27

Yes, the kind of progress where the government believes that we can't think of family out of school activities to do with our young children so they have to tell us what to do via school.

Appletrees · 12/10/2010 15:28

Boo whether it is an improvement or not is moot. V v v moot.

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 15:33

the thing is milly, there are lots of parents that don't do anything with their dcs. the children come home and are left to their own devices day after day, week after week. school is the only thing tehy do outside of home and nothing is being learned at home infront of the tv or xbox. teachers trying to involve parents is not a bad thing IMO.

Original poster
fernie3 · 12/10/2010 15:35

MillyR I agree as i said a little while ago i didn't really see it as homework just being asked to prepare the materials for her which i have no problem with at all and i certainly don't see it as a waste of my time. I would say that while i am ultimately responsible for her education the school surely have a huge responsibility as well and a bit of co operation is not a lot to ask!

I have to be honest I had no idea that other parents may just disagree with the activity and just not do it. Having a tough time at home, disabled children, depression yes i imagined that sometimes things get in the way but just not agreeing with the principle of being asked to peel labels seems odd to me.

OP posts:
WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 12/10/2010 15:37

But those types of parents are never going to get involved. And you have no idea of other peoples lives and circumstances.

And really, lots of parents that do nothing with their children? Lots? Hmm I don't know any at all. Neither do I know any children who only leave the house to go to school. Where on earth do you live? Hmm

GreaterFence · 12/10/2010 15:39

I think YABU.

Some people, yes myself included, do forget/don't have time/don't get letter for some reason.

I am very guilty of this. I am forever overlooking tasks like this because I am genuinely rushed off my feet 24/7. Sometimes I do just forget, having earlier thought "oh I really need to do that" then get distracted by the million other things I have to do.

It's not out of laziness and that I just can't be bothered.

I sometimes don't even receive letters and don't find out about it by talking to other parents in the playground because my ds's go to a school that is too far to walk to and I don't drive, also the reason I don't get to attend PTA's etc which I would love to do.

Things like this post just make me feel like more of a bad parent than I already do!

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 15:44

the area i live has a big problem with school attendances and it is common to know lots of families where that is how they live, lots of SS involvement, high unemployment. so there can be whole families just not doing anything. i don't believe that you have never heard of this type of lifestyle before. maybe not where you live but i don't believe you didn't know it existed.

and who are you to say they will never get involved? you, apparently don't know any like this so how would you know? whsoe to say that once some of teh parents realsie the homwork is going to keep coming thatthey wont start to take an interest. fair play to teh parents for trying when the parents don't. at least they don't have such a defeatist attitude.

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 15:45

sorry that should read, "fair play to the teachers for trying when the parents dont"

MaMoTTaT · 12/10/2010 15:46

agree about not recievin letters in time, I have just had a letter given to me by DS1 that really HAD to be given to me yesterday. Today was the last chance to book tickets for the pantomime they all go and see in December.

They'd printed across the letter that today was the last chance to get the slip in (I don't even remember seeing the first one - and neither does DS1=he never brought it home Wink). DS1 burst into tears, I rang the school, hoping for a miracle (and thankfully got one - thanks I think in part to having known one of the school secretaries for longer than he's been at the school)

BrightLightBrightLight · 12/10/2010 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morloth · 12/10/2010 15:52

We had a email this year (yr 2) saying that parents were not to 'assist' with homework (other than providing somewhere for them to sit and do it).

Is great, if DS1 doesn't do it or does a half arsed job, he takes it up with his teacher.

Appletrees · 12/10/2010 15:53

Boo in an area like that the teachers should be focusing energy on the children not some futile effort to get a parent to join in.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 12/10/2010 15:53

So poor people with no jobs are all bad parents? You just get better and better don't you?Hmm

I know lots of people with no jobs, and some with SS involvement. Often these are the most involved parents I find, having the time for it. I find it very sad that you stereotype in such an obvious and prejudical manner.

Appletrees · 12/10/2010 15:57

Yes I disagree with the principle because we don't live in fairyland. There are divides, between the can, the can't, the will, the won't, the poor, the forgetful, the smug, the show-off, the angry, the absent. Those inequalities have no place affecting lesson process.

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 15:57

winter you really are making my posts up as you would like to read them. i ama poor parent with no job. why the hell should that make me a bad parent???? go and take your bad mood out on someone else.

activate · 12/10/2010 15:57

" booooooooooyhoo Tue 12-Oct-10 10:08:05

activate
"last night I was driving DS3 around supermarkets trying to get fucking strawberries that he mentioned at 7pm and needed next day"

he mentioned it at 7pm. not the teacher. i assume teh teacher told him at school and he was out of school from around 3ish?

i don't understand this problem people have with educating their children. i really don't. if it isn't your job then whose the hell is it?"

You assume wrong - he mentioned it at 7pm when he was picked up. He was only told about that day. It is the school's responsibility to ensure that the timelines and elements they request from parental support are not onerous

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/10/2010 15:59

Sorry but this thread is turning into a ruck between 2 posters. Can I suggest that you both hide the thread or at least agree to disagree Grin

Appletrees · 12/10/2010 15:59

Winter am sure you're right. And there are affluent working mothers who don't do it because they can't divide eight ways. I don't know .. all I know is, it happens and you have to accept it and work round it.

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 16:00

apologies activate, i hadn't accounted for childcare/afterschool clubs etc.

even so, as a parent, i expect to have to do these things.

melikalikimaka · 12/10/2010 16:00

Wouldn't most of them come from 'Iceland'? So it's a good job you made the effort, isn't it!

booooooooooyhoo · 12/10/2010 16:01

you can suggest that hobnobs Wink