that some brides should not choose strapless dresses.....

[PosieParker]

Just saw another collection of pictures with a bride getting married in a dress where humongous breasts are nearly falling out and arms are huge. Now I've seen a few curvy girls look lovely like this and so it's not a size thing, but more of a suitability thing. I am not large but my arms are not small and so I wouldn't wear this. Why do some folk not know their own shape?

Rather ironically, there is only a small minority that suits strapless - if you're slightly padded, or even slightly scrawny, the style does nothing to flatter.

Even when you do have the body for it it's not the most flattering style. Being a tall, slender size 8, I could pretty much pick whatever I wanted when I chose my dress, but I still chose not to go strapless. It had a sweetheart neckline, a v back with buttons down it and actually flattered my arms and neckline more than strapless did as it served to accentuate my bone structure by 'framing' it.

I also think that strapless is the wrong kind of style for a wedding dress, somehow as I consider it a bit screechy and naff (awaits flaming). Also it's awkwardly uncomfortable unless it fits - clings - incredibly well. You only have to see the photo of Abby Crouch showing her nipple while flinging back her bouquet to be reminded of a considerable downside of wearing the strapless wedding dress.

YY ceebee, Elliston needs a necklace or something to break up the flesh acreage.

I wanted a halterneck fishtail gown and could only find one that was exactly what I was after - bought it off the peg and took it to a decent tailor to get it fitted correctly - cheap and perfect!

Thank god that there were hardly any strapless dresses when I got married 13 years ago. I dislike them, and think all the brides these days look like little clones.

Sorry, just my opinion.

Well, I got married in a strapless dress and looked beautiful, so there!

Gah, bloody hell, just noticed that the OP is from 2010!

I'd hate to have a lot of the posters here at my wedding! Do you really go to a wedding and judge a bride by her choice of dress? She's probably been to many shops and tried on lots of dresses and this is the one that makes her feel special.

My dress will be burgundy and gold, not a drop of white anywhere near me, it makes me look ill. Anyone want to make something of that too?

confudled, I'm all for not dressing in white, especially when getting married at a certain age or for the second time. Nothing to do with morals or anything (pot, kettle? ) just because I think white wedding dresses look a bit twee and only the v young, i.e. under 35s can really get away with it.

I I ever were to get married again, it would be in a fabulous Temperley number, whatever the colour it probably wouldn't be white!

"My dress will be burgundy and gold, not a drop of white anywhere near me,"

Ah-but will it be strapless?

I blame the shops. They can't be feeding back to the manufacturers what people actually WANT. I went wedding dress shopping with a friend who wanted sleeves, and the way some of the shop assistants spoke to her you'd have thought she'd asked for a dress made of cheese or something. We went to four bridal shops and there were no sleeved dresses to try on! Berketex was particularly awesomely bad, the woman argued with my friend about her budget, put her in absolutely disgusting dresses she was obviously keen to shift (friend is whatever size their samples are, about a 10-12) and didn't have a clue what looked good.

In one independent shop I was waiting for friend to be stuffed into huge meringue (she tried it on for a joke but it looked ace!) and listened to the shop owner being a total and utter bitch to a woman who was about a size 18. She wanted sleeves, bitch woman said "in your size you can't be choosy" and squeezed her into a vile strapless thing with horrid maroon embroidery all over it. This girl looked awful and knew she did - "can't I have little sleeves added?" "NO" boomed horrid woman. I really hope she didn't order the dress :(

Heard at least four people plus my friend ask for sleeves.

My friend ended up with strapless from a sample sale - it was gorgeous but she only tried on one that wasn't, lovely halterneck in a sample sale which was unfortunately a bit too small.

I was really surprised, I thought they would treat you like a queen in bridal shops and that there'd be lots of choice. It's a lot of money and people are keen to look as good as possible. It does seem odd that on the day you are basically on your own photo shoot you are expected to wear something white and strapless - who would choose a white strapless party dress? Not many people. The assistants were just horrid, apart from the lady in Pronuptia who was older and really seemed to know her stuff. She pinned chiffon and lace to show how sleeves could look, advised my friend what would show off her figure best, and the dresses she suggested were lovely, even if some weren't my friend's taste.

I don't really like wedding dresses myself, if I do get married I'd like something vintage, not floor length and definitely not white! My friend recently got married in a lovely vintage dress, ivory, with short sleeves! Only cost her about £150 as well.

Me and DP walked past a hotel the other day and saw a lady having a cig, we assumed she was the bride and commented on how nice she looked (she was about 40, wearing long sleeved ivory shift dress to just above the knee). Then the bride came out :( she was a big girl with a huge bust, so the obligatory corset was spilling everywhere and due to the freezing weather she had the full corned beef look on her arms. Proper support under the bodice and a little shrug for the cold would have made all the difference, I hope she isn't disappointed by her photos as she looked so happy.

Ramble ramble zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz etc. Sorry! I love helping people choose clothes and would love to work in a bridal shop as long as there were some nice dresses to sell to people!

I would have worried that my boobs would have popped out. I have big ones then... Not sure where they went... I think the fat shifted to my bum!

Surely as long as the bride and groom both think she looks good, everyone else can get knotted?

I carry a fair amount of weight, and wore a proper corset plus skirt, so strapless. I wore a wrap over the top for the day, which fastened so I didn't have to hold it in place - that was to save people the sight of too much back fat - my concession to other people. I had the hell of a cleavage, and a tiny waist (for me). My dh is a boob man, and his eyes nearly fell out - he had no idea in advance, and he couldn't take his eyes off me all day, and kept telling me how beautiful I was and how lucky he was. Which is exactly the result I was after.

He didn't notice the back fat, even when I took the wrap off. I don't really give a flying fuck what other people thought of my outfit - I picked it for him, as he picked his outfit for me (very goth, leather trenchcoat).

Oh, and the reason so many brides have problems with their strapless dresses and have to keep hoicking them up is they are badly made and badly fitted. I know a fair amount about dressmaking and tailoring, and was horrified at the exorbitant prices for the rubbish workmanship/fabrics charged by the main brands. Thin plastic boning makes it cheaper and easier for the manufacturers but it will not stand up to a full day of wear. And don't get me started on the cut...

I got quite angry at how much brides are ripped off, when I was shopping for my wedding.

I do think all the strapless dresses look a bit identikit - have seen some friends look lovely in them of course, that goes without saying - but I always feel a bit sad when I look at people's wedding photos and see the same old styles being trotted out.

I was looking for a dress with sleeves that was flattering as I'm having a winter wedding (and pregnant, but that's another story) and stumbled across the world of 'modesty dresses' in America - go have a google if you want a fright, plenty of dresses with lovely sleeves but because the aim is also to completely hide the cleavage, they have really unflattering necklines that just don't suit the rest of the dress. Quite terrifying. (Although a boat neck dress I always think is very attractive and that is one style where you can cover up arms and cleavage but still have some shoulder on display).

VikingLady I quite agree with you about the quality of a lot of the dresses - abysmal!

As you say, thin plastic boning won't do a lot and I think that's the main issue with strapless dresses on anyone with boobs that need support. The nasty nasty fabrics in the bridal shops really shocked me, I was expecting luxurious satins and lace, not scratchy crap that looks like it'd go up in flames at the thought of a match.

I also don't get why they don't cater to winter weddings more, people get married all year round! I feel the cold and was relieved to be pregnant so unable to be bridesmaid for a friend who married a couple of years back, I know she wouldn't have allowed a cardigan over the (strapless!) bridesmaid's dresses :)

Not just the fabrics (and I was expecting nice-feeling stuff too), but quite often the stitching is already coming undone and are badly finished, if there are sleeves they are often not set properly so they look funny...

If I hadn't gone for the corset (£180), plus skirt (£90), I was looking into having something made. That would have cost around £600 to be made from scratch, including the steel boning so it could stand up to a full day. You just tell them it is a ball gown, not a wedding dress, since people often add a premium for the word "wedding". Still cheaper than most in the wedding shops!

Having just done the wedding dress shopping rounds, it is about 95% strapless, pooooouffy dresses. I fortunately found a gorgeous dress with a bateau neckline and sleeves and there was another dress in the store that I LOVED (but which wasn't suitable) which had a v neck. But, both were a few grand and they were the exception rather than the rule.

Hopefully though, with Kate Middleton having worn sleeves we'll be seeing the tail end of this particular trned.

No no no no - I want all the bridal shops to keep peddling the strapless look, it's great for my business!!! Don't let the secret out that lots of brides want sleeves/non-strapless!!!!! It's my niche dontcha know.

There is a trend for perfection which I find quite concerning.

Lots of people have said that they don't like to see women in strapless dresses because they don't like to see back fat or big arms. Perhaps the women wearing these dresses are focusing on the dresses plus points e.g smaller waist or good cleavage.

My wedding dress was similar to Pippa Middleton bridesmaids dress but made of lace. When I was discussing the type of dress styles I liked with friends so many friends said that I shouldn't look at straight dresses because I was too short. I disagreed my dress was the right one and when I tried it on I even had a groom tell me that it was the right dress. Claudia Schieffer would probably have done a better job of showing the dress off to it's perfection. But I'm not Claudia Schieffer and I wasn't striving for perfection, I wanted to look like a polished version of me and wear a dress that was in keeping with my usual style.

dream dress

Emsyj website? Pm me?

Yes, emsyj - where are you based? could you Pm me too?

I used to work in a wedding dress shop and SO many brides went blind when it came to what looked nice. I lost count of girls who arrived and pointed at the type of mermaid dress that only a size 8 woman would look "right" in and insisted on strapless too....they'd look in the mirrors and only see the dress...not the woman somehow....