Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel annoyed with this MIL situation

84 replies

LoveRedShoes · 10/10/2010 22:06

What should I do?
MIL is generally lovely, though we have fairly opposite personalities, I do my 'best' to get on with her.
We have been out of the country working for a while, and stayed at the PIL house last year for a fortnight. We were invited to leave our excess clothing, to pick up on our next return as we were struggling to fit everything in our suitcases. I left several items of clothes, one of which I had loaned to her when she was caught without - don't want to say what item it was, as family members may well be reading! She commented on how lovely it was at the time.
Fast forward six months and we retuned to visit and pick up our few belongings. I had forgotten exactly what I had left, as it had been some time.
Due to weather, I needed to loan something, and she presented my item to me, saying I could borrow it Shock. I did a double take, then realized it was my lovely item, old make up stain in place, zipper tag pulled off as I remembered.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, she clearly thought it was hers. She even removed it from the bedroom in case 'I packed her x by mistake'.
As I was going I mentioned that I thought the X was mine, to hear 'oh no, I bought this at X on holiday. Look, I even have the X and my things are in the pocket' (like, yes, because you've clearly been wearing it form the last few weeks).
Soooooo...... What do I do? I'm really pissed off as this item cost me a lot of money, and was kind of special, in that at the time I had saved up for it.
I don't think she is doing it maliciously, she is just old and mistaken. However, she has clearly taken a firm shine to it and refuses to see she has made a mistake.
If I make a fuss, I look unkind, but at the same time ....it's MINE MINE MINE! I love it and want it back!!!!
It will cost me a lot of money to replace it as it was very expensive.
Do I just leave it and be graceful (while biting my tongue so hard it bleeds) or take issue? What is reasonable/ unreasonable?

OP posts:
bigchris · 11/10/2010 14:32

Kungfupanda - for her to have denied it in front of everyone when it was blatant stealing - do you think she was mentally challenged?

LucyGoose · 11/10/2010 16:32

A Burberry mac is worth stealing back from a little old lady. Leave for a few weeks, and then one day when she least expects it, snaffle it! Grin

DiscoSquish · 11/10/2010 18:47

That will be my granny who is all sweetness and light and incredibly manipulative. It's an impossible, no-win situation. Unless you can see right through her machinations, you just don't realise she is like this. Which basically means either you don't challenge the sweet little old lady or you challenge her and look a complete cow :(

If I were in your shoes I would just steal the X back, and I'd make damn sure my shoes stayed on my feet whilst I was doing it.

mitfordsisters · 12/10/2010 21:28

Take it back - it's yours - then she knows you are not her personal wardrobe and cashpoint. Right now she seems to think you are. Doesn't matter if you look unkind - she might play up to that but you have to put that boundary there or you are always going to feel she is taking from you.

Plumm · 12/10/2010 21:42

Take it back. She's manipulating you - she takes your money and now she thinks she can take anything else that takes her fancy (and I know about IL's, manipulation and money).

WitchyFlisspaps · 12/10/2010 22:41

You know it's yours, she knows it's yours and she's relying on you feeling like this in order to keep it.

Snaffle it back, and then insist on wearing it EVERY time you visit in future - but keep it on, even in the middle of summer.

benbenandme · 12/10/2010 23:06

Playing devils advocate ... (and I know the chances of this are incredibly remote) ... could you both be telling the truth; could she have liked yours so much when she borrowed it that one time and bought one on holiday too and there are actually two of them in her house, your original one and her new one?? Maybe the second one is in her wardrobe??

Another point; depending on your relationship with your mil, would you want to be wearing something that your elderly mil would want to wear?? It would be enough to put me off the item for life, no matter how much I previously loved it Grin

LucyGoose · 13/10/2010 20:39

Is there any chance you will be in her house alone and can go thru her wardrobes to check/snaffle things? I know it sounds evil but this would piss me off to no end and it would be uppermost in my mind when I see her (no matter what else is going on)!

Yes, I hold grudges [:O]

LucyGoose · 13/10/2010 20:40

Is there any chance you will be in her house alone and can go thru her wardrobes to check/snaffle things? I know it sounds evil but this would piss me off to no end and it would be uppermost in my mind when I see her (no matter what else is going on)!

Yes, I hold grudges :o

New posts on this thread. Refresh page