Denise Van Outen Pisses Me Off!

[MsKalo]

Sorry but DVO really annoys me with her bleating and excuses for not breastfeeding - rather than just say it is not for her she bleats and bleats and makes excuses for giving up on bf and I am sick of hearing her go on and on. BF is hard and it takes perseverance and time to establish both supply and technique - she did not give it long enough and completely choose to ignore the health benefits of bf and now keeps bleating on.

I know some people will be outraged by how I feel and I do know there are ladies who have genuine problems with bf and can't carry on. but I 'do' feel that women like DVO who, lets face it, gave up on bf and didn't give it long enough, really take away from women who really persevere through all the problems that bf can bring.

And don't get me started on the fact she left poor baby and went on that trek...baby needs mummy at such a young age not for mummy to go off and leave her. I really don't think much of her anymore!

ok, this is 'MY' opinion and everyone is entitled to their own!

Haven't read the entire thread so apologies if this has been said.

What do you mean "gave up on bf and didn't give it long enough" ????
What are people meant to do just not feed their children until they get the hang of it?

My DD was readmitted to hospital when she was 36hrs old because I hadn't managed to feed her.
I didn't give up or "choose to ignore the health benefits" I just didn't want to starve my daughter to death. Hope that's okay with you.
I would have been over the moon if I could have bf for 3wks like DVO rather than expressing.

Go take off those judgy pants!

God, what a horrible vicious op!
It's fucking hard being a new mum, as most of us know. You feel confused and judged about everything you do, and on top of this, DVO has the spotlight on her. I dread to think how I would have coped with making the decision to stop, if I had known I would have to announce my decision to the world. I felt guilt ridden enough!
Maybe she's speaking out about this again because she's frigging pissed off at the way she has been treated by the nhs, the media, and certain Internet forums!

bleaty bleat bleat.

Nancy66's post made me laugh. Sorry, even as someone who struggled through some difficult times with BFing (and eventually continued to BF past one year. I'm sure this information is important when weighing my response here) I think you're being very hard on this person. (Have only been in the UK for 4 years and have no idea who she is)

She's probably falling over herself to explain her decision because she feels, as so many women do, perceived societal pressure to do so. The other side of this coin is the BFers who feel as if all the grannies are frowning upon them for exposing their boobs to feed publicly. Fact is, we're all mums and we 'should' all be more understanding about the situation and the stress of that whole period of parenthood.

I know I'm typing into the wind here, though.

If DVO didn't want to be "judged" by the public for not BFing then she could have just kept her mouth shut and never mentioned the topic. I do believe she brought it up in an interview, it was not a tabloid exposé. Do we know how Colleen Rooney is feeding ? No. Because she does not discuss it.

DVO needs publicity of this type to survive, she has no other great talent other than promoting herself. You live by the sword, you die by the sword

and to clarify, I couldn't give a monkeys about how DVO feeds her baby, she can feed it Fruit Shoots as far as I care.

What I can't abide is this "poor me" whinging from someone who makes her money by exposing her life. A bit like Jordan wearing a fanjo-flashing outfit then complaining about being papped in it. If you choose to sell a part of your life then you have to accept peoples' judgement of you as part and parcel of hte deal

But as an "extended breastfeeder" I would like one of those "keep calm and carry on breastfeeding mugs". Where can I get one ?

Obviously you need to tell the NHS you've given up then they'll send you one with a stern letter.

(But if you find out - can you let me know? - I'd quite like one too)

I have just had a look on their website. You can download the artwork so I'd have to order my own mug :(

Shame. But it might be worth doing anyway. If you have the time. And the inclination.

"DVO needs publicity of this type to survive, she has no other great talent other than promoting herself."

She has an active stage and TV career. She's not Jordan FFS.

The mistake she made was going public about her decison to stop in the first place. It is nobodys business.

I do feel sorry for her. The letter from the NHS is unbelievable and I can believe that she feels genuinely bullied about her decision to give up as the response on here alone was ott.

There was a thread on here recently about what would our country look like if we had a culture of breastfeeding. I think what a lot of people fail to understand is that a lot of us don't want to live in a "breastfeeding culture" we want to live in a culture of choice. As long as women who want to bf are supported both in their decision and with the practical side of bfing I am happy and the same should also apply to women who choose to ff.

That is very nicely put thedollshouse.
If I were DVO I'd be giving interviews to anyone and everyone about how horrible people have been to me and how they should be strung up . I would probably pop down to see those midwives and have a little 'chat'. Little chat might involve flinging mug at the wall nearest to them. She is obviously a nice person, I am obviously not.

I just posted this in News on the other thread, this was the next thread I opened so have just copied and pasted here...

"The only thing that puts me off long term breast feeding or even voicing my support for it is a fear of developing the nasty, judgemental attitude displayed by some people on MN.

The thought of being seen like that or being so awful to other people or so obsessed with what is essentially none of my fucking business truly makes me feel nauseous"

s'a good job people in real life aren't this awful or I would end up getting a t shirt printed and as I will be breastfeeding almost continually for the next few weeks it would be impractical to keep hoiking it up and down all the time

YABU - It's very hard to BF a baby when you are up a mountain in South America (when your baby is not) & you are focusing on getting your career back on track asap.

la la la. i stick by my opinion on this and if you are happy with your opinion great.

now, i will go out and get a life as so many people say i need to!:o

lol lol lol lol

you are talking out your la la frankly

OP, YABU, but I think you know that.

I did BF for 11 months, but still felt huge pressure to do it which was quite stifling at times. To send the poor woman a mug and a letter AFTER she has stopped is not only rude and thoughtless but somewhat shutting the door after the horse has bolted. She needed support before she got to breaking point...

With regard to that Mirror piece - Denise is being paid to endorse the campaign by that photography company. The company's PR's will have known they won't have a hope in hell of getting coverage for their story on its own but with DVO at the helm can tempt journo with interview with DVO all about breastfeeding, and chuck in a bit about their product as part of the bargain.

YABVU breast feeding is not the be all and end all and does not make a better mother then one who does not BF, wow some people really need to get over themselves

OP - your la la la lol lol lol post suggests that you posted this for laughs, which I am surprised about as I am pretty sure that I have read sensible comments about BFing from you on other threads.

I could not be more strongly in favour of support for more women to breastfeed and find it sad that our BFing rates in the UK are so low. However, I have been very uncomfortable with the roasting DVO has had about this issue. All she has done is give a puplic version of the explanation/excuse/justification (whatever you feel it is) that so many women feel required to give on MN and many other forums. It is a shame that she has felt it necessary to do so but this thread is a prime example of why she did it.

I actually think that it is shortsighted to vilify her - she is a popular "mainstream" celebrity and she has openly said that she breastfed and regretted not giving it a better go. This could actually be positive publicity for BFing.

but didn't everybody already have this argument about three months ago when it was actually news?

apologies, i hate it when people say 'i haven't read the whole thread' but in this case i have a strong sense of deja vu.

YABU, and I am a BF loon with history of extended BF. She tried it, it didn't work out for reasons that she has every right not to share with the whole of the UK public. Perhaps it would have worked out with more/better support from HCPs, perhaps it wouldn't. She breastfed for longer than the majority of women in the UK do.

Essentially her job is to sing and dance and look pretty. It's not to be a breastfeeding role model. I do think it would be nice if more women whose job it is to sing and dance and look pretty breastfed, because it would help it be seen as a more normal and less lentilweavery thing to do. But each individual woman has exactly as much responsibility to the public over it as any anonymous poster on MN does, i.e. none whatsoever. It's a decision between a woman and her baby, with secondary input from a DH/DP.

I would like more women to breastfeed. I would like more women who try breastfeeding to do it for longer. I would like there to be resources to give proper help and support to everyone who needs it, rather than what can often be empty sloganeering accompanied by shockingly bad advice from HCPs. But once a woman has thought about it and reached a careful and considered decision, there shouldn't be any remonstrance from anyone and still less a public mud-slinging.

That letter sounds vile, TBH.

what an eminently sensible post.dvo is not accountable to public,nor is she any role model or responsible for promoting bf. her decision - her baby

If I'd got the letter she had, and had received the kind of negative press from other mums as she has, I'd be pretty furious about it too, and think I'd be 'bleating' as well.

I see it as being like a shop. Sometimes, you know exactly what you want - all you need is a sales assistant to show you where it is. Other times, you just want to browse, to get on with it your own way, or even to leave, but there's some in-your-face, smarmy "customer care staff worker" who's grabbing you and basically telling you your whole family will die if you don't buy this amazing product, and its monthly insurance cost, and all the matching gadgets. I literally avoid small shops because I know someone will ask me "How can I help you?" when I just want to be left alone to browse at my own pace.

Breastfeeding is just like that. In my 2 week hospital stay, I think I met more "breastfeeding co-ordinators" than doctors, nurses, midwifes and cleaners combined. When I got home from the hospital, I got a phone call EVERY DAY from "Mum2Mum", asking how I was doing with my breastfeeding. They came to my house with a pump I didn't want, and then asked me to pay for it.

If I want your help, I'll ask for it.

And when I decided I wanted to stop BFing, they sent two midwifes to my house to change my mind. But it wasn't, "listen, we want to explain why it's good to breastfeed" it was "LISTEN, we want to explain why you are being extremely selfish and irresponsible and putting your DD at risk, and ruining the sacred bond and blablabla". And the way they looked at me, like I was scum

Good for Denise, speaking out about the way people treated her for stopping. Just like her, I was so proud of myself for breastfeeding and told everybody. I didn't, at that point, know how much trouble it was going to cause for me and DD that I'd have to stop at 2 months and then explain to all the people who had no business in the matter what "went wrong".