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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not feed my dc shit, just because the kid from school won't eat it?!?

401 replies

pinkclouds · 07/10/2010 21:36

ARRRGGGHH!!! I spent the day thinking what will this child eat? So I opted for mince and Potatoes (Not a vegetarian) fairly safe option I thought.
The friend wouldn't even try it, not only that he couldn't even use a knife and fork at 7 years!!
WTF. My DC are told to least try something before dismissing it.Maybe it's me.

OP posts:
GrendelsMum · 09/10/2010 08:56

I'm just thinking about this a bit more...

I think the eating at other people's house thing isn't about the food per se, but about familiarity and strangeness, learning to deal with new environments, learning that not everywhere is the same as your house, that families do things differently, that different is not necessarily worse, etc etc. Eating is about literally internalising the difference between the familiar and the strange - you're saying that you're accepting strangeness.

I can actually think back to eating at my best friend's house when I was about 11, and just remembering how odd the food seemed. It was a plate of roast chicken, for God's sake, but in some way it wasn't how my mum would have done roast chicken.

So, I conclude that we shouldn't worry too much about feeding other people's children - whether they eat it is up to them, not up to us. (But yes, okay, I did make sure that there was a plate of sausages on the table last time a little boy we hadn't had over before came round.)

Apparently, there's some kind of universal developmental stage that kicks in around 2 where children become extremely fussy, and it's suggested that this is an evolutionary tweak to stop them learning to walk and then immediately eating poisonous berries and so on.

littleducks · 09/10/2010 09:05

I agree it is like Grendalsmum says, about how familiar and comfortable the food looks

DD tried schools dinners and refused to eat the roast chicken dinner as the chicken looked weird I have quizzed her at length as to how but thats all the detail i got

For visiting kids i would stick to fairly simple choices that can be adjusted more easily and dont take lots of effort to cook

Jacket potatoes
Pasta
Pizza and salad

Sez1266666 · 09/10/2010 09:09

My daughter loves mince and onions with mash and veg! nice to see you serving a dinner thats not deep fried or CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS. Gets my goat when I go out for dinner and the kids menu consists of: sausage & chips, nuggets & chips etc etc. On the other hand if I had kids over I prob would of opted for sausage, mash n peas :D

magicmummy1 · 09/10/2010 11:52

My dd is quite fussy - won't eat chips, baked beans, chicken nuggets or sausages. She wouldn't eat mince and potatoes either. Other parents probably think she is a nightmare!

However, she would happily put away a lentil curry with rice, fish with steamed veg, a mushroom risotto with salad, or pasta with a homemade sauce. It's wrong to assume that a child only eats junk just because they won't eat what you have served up.

I usually check with parents before a child comes to our house for tea - it's the best way of minimizing waste!

nooka · 09/10/2010 17:28

I would hope that because it is quite easy to make simple food and doesn't take a huge amount of time (most of the meals I make take about half an hour). Attempting to do anything with clingy/screaming small children is fairly horrible I agree.
I just came to the conclusion that an awful lot of processed food was really not very nice, and reading the ingredients made me unhappy too. Of course if you can afford the more expensive varieties that's less of a concern, but that's not what most people serve up to children (I know I didn't when I went down that route). I tend to save junk food for going out now, and even then I'd prefer a nice sandwich to a burger and chips.

MakingAMess · 09/10/2010 19:19

all the tales of school mince / mum's mince makes me think that, if i didn't eat something because of the way it tasted when my mum cooked it (everything she cooks is grey) or the way school cooked it (everything was gross), i would eat SFA.

as for school packed lunches: try taking toasted rice cakes out of a tupperware at the lunch-tabl and spreading with hummous. they STINK.

and my cave-man-diet mother used to make her own rye porridge with the water that she had soaked hunza apricots in... it looked like a cowpat. and tasted vile. she made custard the same way - sans milk.

needless to say, no-one came to tea at my house more than once!

pressyourthumbs · 09/10/2010 21:57

This is my favourite thread since the one about throwing ramekins away.

ilovehens · 09/10/2010 22:01

If people are no longer prepared to eat mince and potatoes then I fear for this country Sad

No wonder everybody is obese, spoilt and happy eating junk food.

We eat mince and baked potatoes and it's nice as long as it's cooked properly. Anybody who thinks it sounds yuck is being stupid.

ItsGhoulAgain · 09/10/2010 22:45

Throwing ramekins away???!!!
What is the world coming to? They could have made little shepherd's, cottage & cumbernauld pies in them when children came to visit.
Tsk!

ItsGhoulAgain · 09/10/2010 22:50

And how DARE those obese people be HAPPY eating junk food??!! My family's perfectly miserable eating my home-grown quinoa pancakes. And we're all regular.
Tsk!

nooka · 09/10/2010 23:54

My mum used to make shepherds pie in ovenproof bowls and freeze them (for my father in the holidays when the rest of us went away). I think ramekins woudl be too small Grin

pressyourthumbs · 10/10/2010 09:49

I personally like to serve my children their chips and turkey twizzlers in ramekins.

wigglybeezer · 10/10/2010 13:52

Cumbernauld pies Itsghoulagain, I used to live in Cumbernauld and its not known for its cuisine, did you mean "Cumberland" pies Grin.

becaroo · 10/10/2010 14:09

Food kids want to eat doesnt have to be "shit" though!!!

You can easily make your own pizzas bases (or buy them) and each child can have their own topping.

You can make your own oven chips, just chop up potatoes (with their skins on) into chips and bake with a little oil.

Whats wrong with fish fingers??? Or tinned beans?? Jacket/mashed potatoes?? Homemade soup is easy peasy.

Would never give anyone just mash and mince. I am sure it was well cooked but I wouldnt want to eat it so why would a child??

My 7 year old can use a spoon and a fork but finds cutting up food difficult...does that mean there is something wrong with him in OPs eyes??? Hmm

Am genuinely quite bemused by this thread really Hmm

rubbersoul · 10/10/2010 14:27

I find it strange at the amount of people who say that 'visting children' will have what they're given or what's in the fridge and if they don't like it they'll be offered toast or bread and butter Confused

Surely if you've invited a child to your house you would make an effort to find out what they like to eat and cook that, or have a few options available as a back up.

ColdComfortFarm · 10/10/2010 18:45

Yup we are all fat because we don't eat enough GRUEL. I make 'em eat pottage. If it was good enough for Tudor peasants, it's good enough for other people's brats.

cory · 10/10/2010 19:19

rubbersoul, ime most visiting children are not actually interested in eating, unlike adults it's not what they came there to do; they want to get the boring stuff over as quickly as possible to get on with playing with dcs/try out new toys; and many ime will refuse food that their mums have told me they love, simply because they are excited and a bit stressed by the unfamiliarity of it all; the clue to survival (and actually being able to carry on liking your children's friends) is not to care

ItsGhoulAgain · 10/10/2010 19:23

I stand corrected, wigglybeezer. The schooling down here in Hades isn't the best. We ghouls do eat a lot of pottage, though, CCF Grin

ouryve · 10/10/2010 19:36

I love mince and taties, but neither of my kids feel the same about it. One has aspirations to become vegetarian (have told him he needs to stop refusing meals entirely, first) and doesn't really like potatoes, so would only eat mince and mash if he was actually in the mood for it and it smelt right and the other one gags on wet food and the only carbs he'll eat are bread based or fried/roast potato based.

The first boy does usually eat quite well and the second does OK considering his texture issues and resulting limited palate. You certainly can't make assumptions based on one meal.

ouryve · 10/10/2010 20:40

Duchesse - if that blanket's bobblemeat. it's cheap, fatty bobblemeat ;) Are you on Ravelry, by any chance?

For the record, when I make savoury mince, it's a long, slow process. I chop up equal amounts of celery (yes!) onion and carrots (and very occasionally, if I have some, swede) very finely. I first saute the celery in the bare minimum of oil to ensure it's properly dead (ie, no raw taste left, or else the meal is ruined for me already), add in the mince (good quality stuff, usually Aberdeen angus or organic) and brown it, then add in the onions and carrots to soften them. I stir in a spoonful of flour and cook it off, then add in dried thyme, loads of worcester sauce, enough black pepper to make my wrists ache, a squirt of tomato puree and enough good quality beef stock (I like the M&S concentrate in a jar - even expensive cubes are all e numbers and salt) to get it all moving. I bring it to simmering point, put the lid on and leave it on a low heat for at least 1.5 hours. After that time, I might add some frozen peas for colour, or else some mushrooms (never both. ick!)

As for taties, if they're nice and waxy, then boiled. If not, mash is the way to go. I also like something green on the side, or, in contrast, cauliflower cheese. And as someone mentioned upthread, I always make enough for 2 days, because then the second day is an easy meal and tastes so much better.

These days, I tend more often to make mince into spag bol or non-chilli con carne, simply because they go down so much better with the boys.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 10/10/2010 22:34

Not that DD is old enough to have friends over but I'd probably make some homemade chicken nuggets and chips (or mash) with peas. Not a riviting meal but maybe something familiar the visiting child would like yet not so junky I feel bad. I'd probably leave them to put it on their plates, or only put a little and have more on the table.

At the end of the day, I'd like the visiting child to go home having had fun and enjoyed the food (or at least not gone hungry!). DD has a treat too and there's plenty more days for her to eat lasagne and other family meals.

mippy · 10/10/2010 23:26

As a kid, I didn't eat mash or fish fingers (I do now).

I had a friend aged 12 who refused to eat 'foreign food'. This included pizza and pasta.

duchesse · 11/10/2010 09:21

ouryve- yes, I am on Ravelry! Was introduced to it by someone on MN when looking for a knitted baby trousers pattern. I rue the day I first went on that site.

wigglybeezer · 11/10/2010 14:46

I'm on ravelry too!, is there some connction between lovingly cooked mince and knitting?

Unwind · 11/10/2010 16:00

Having time Grin