to find my mum embarrassing?

[Lagerita]

She wears too tight clothes, invites strange men round for lunch when I am at school, and can't make pizza to save her life!

Make your own pizza then

HTH

Is that you DD?

She also lays the table with 2 kg of tomatoes when it is just me and her for lunch. I don't even like tomatoes.

You sound completely normal. Most dds find that they don't approve of their mothers' dress sense.

How on earth do you know she invites strange men round if you are at school?

Finally no need to make pizza, you will find a good selection in most local shops/supermarkets.

She probably bought the tomatoes with the intention of using them on the pizza. However as she can't make pizza they are now surplus.

On a serious note, if you are genuinely worried please speak to your teacher or GP about your concerns.

does she present the tomatoes on a cake stand?

suspect!

if you're at school does it matter who she has lunch with? do you bunk off?

is this one of those threads when really you're talking about some kids programme????

or is it real?

sorry i can't tell :-S

Lewis - how did you know that? Are you a friend of hers?

yes, I'm afraid so

I also like her celery presented in a vase. She told me it's "just like flowers" - I find it enchanting

Enchanting? It;s not nearly so enchanting when she forces you to eat it after it's sat in the fecking vase for a week.

I BEG her to stop showing me up in front of my friends and just let us go to McDonalds but she is having none of it.

she gave me the impression she took it out of the vase when I went home!

She doesn't eat it - I can assure you of that! She lives off cake out of the fridge.

Nigella Lawson??

And for breakfast we had Mummy's Special Love Muffins FFS. What is wrong with coco pops?

You have to have some fun as a parent and embarrassing your DC is one of them!

Tell you what - why not ask her to knock up a trufle for you at breakfast time?

It would be great if there were plumptious jet blackberries nestling on a billowing duvet of lightly whipped cream, no?

And there is vit C in the curacao...