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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should this man have done something?

25 replies

femalevictormeldrew · 07/10/2010 09:10

Crap title for this post I know but I didn't know what to put.

A man who DH knows through his hobby has this up on his FB status this morning

"Car just crashed into wall beside our house, don't know who it is - (his DP) doesn't want me to go out to see. Just rang the police".

This man works as a paramedic, and AIBU to find it a bit strange that he didn't go out to help? Or is it a case of when he's off duty, he's off duty?

We live in a very quiet, country area, very little crime, so it would be unusual(?) for the driver to be a crazed lunatic (although it could be possible I suppose). I don't know how the person who crashed is. I just feel a bit uncomfortable to know that this person had the skills and knowledge to help but didn't?

OP posts:

Rindercella · 07/10/2010 09:14

Regardless of his profession, this man or his partner should have gone out to check whoever crashed their car was ok. I am really shocked that anyone wouldn't do this tbh. At least he called the emergency services I suppose.

Galena · 07/10/2010 09:30

Isn't it the case that if he offers help and the victim is injured further as a result, he is liable? I thought I'd seen this ridiculous state of affairs a year or 2 back, so off-duty docs/nurses/paramedics became a lot less keen to help.

However, I would probably have gone to see if the person was ok.

SheWillBeLoved · 07/10/2010 09:34

Well he didn't have to touch them did he, but he could have checked they were okay whilst waiting for 'on duty' help to arrive. Quite shocking that a Paramedic would just watch from his window and post on FB about something like this.

fedupofnamechanging · 07/10/2010 09:37

Sometimes it seems as if people are divorced from reality, so even real life events are like something they are watching on TV.

I worry about people who feel the need to put everything on fb. It's like they are not really living unless they've told everyone else about it.

Poledra · 07/10/2010 09:42

Well, we witnessed a terrible crash last year between a car and a motorbike. DH was out of our car (I was driving) and running across to the motorcyclist, who was in a ditch, before I'd even got the car stopped properly. DH is not medically trained, but he went to see what he could do, while I called 999. We were very glad when the woman in the car behind us turned out to be a nurse.

Treat other people as you'd like them to treat you, i say.............

Original poster

femalevictormeldrew · 07/10/2010 09:46

I am glad that I am not the only one that finds this strange. I don't particularly like this man (for completely different reasons) and I thought that maybe that was clouding my judgement somewhat.

I am not a brave person (wimp) but I would have went out if it had been me. As I said we live in the country, so it easily take 20 minutes for help to arrive, probably more. Maybe he was thinking of his career, I may not know all the facts - he possibly is not supposed to help when off duty?

Still I don't think my conscience would not let me sit inside and do nothing. I have just been reading the Fire thread - seems it is going on everywhere!

OP posts:

sb6699 · 07/10/2010 09:48

Its very sad that anyone would post on fb while someone is very possibly badly hurt outside their window.

Surely human instinct should be to help - even if it just providing blankets/reassurance until an ambulance arrives.

Tippychoocks · 07/10/2010 09:56

FFS, wrong on so many levels. Imagine just sitting inside posting on blasted FB when someone could be hurt outside.

Unless he meant someone had just damaged the wall and his DP did not want him to go and start a fight. If it was clear that the driver was unharmed? In which case he is just an eejit for thinking the world needs to know about it on FB

MackerelOfFact · 07/10/2010 09:58

I'm not sure that it actually says nobody went out to help, just that his DP wouldn't let him go out - maybe she'd gone out herself and it was really horrific, or somebody they knew, or the house was awfully damaged or something? Although it doesn't really make sense for her to be sheilding him from something if he is a paramedic, presumably he's seen it all?!

MackerelOfFact · 07/10/2010 10:00

By house, I mean wall - I assumed it was a wall of the house but re-reading it probably isn't.

Original poster

femalevictormeldrew · 07/10/2010 10:17

Wall up from their house along the road. Nobody went out to help (house is in the country and theirs would have been the only house for maybe quarter of a mile).

OP posts:

kelly2525 · 07/10/2010 11:42

Sitting inside updating his "status" on facebook, while somebody could be badly injured outside his own front door, paramedic or not, hes a dick.

MrsLouD · 07/10/2010 11:53

There is a care of duty for off duty docs and nurses that say if you witness a crash you need to help, not sure if it is the same with everyone in the profession. Also there (that I know of) has never been a successful suing of someone trying to help in the UK. He sounds a dick!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/10/2010 12:02

Kelly2525, your are right. While he was updating his status, he could have been taking photos of a (potential) tragedy to include.
What a git.

Ragwort · 07/10/2010 12:04

Shocking - why do so many people seem obsessed with FB ?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/10/2010 12:16

Ragwort, my unpopular thought entirely. I don't have a FB acount and don't feel I suffer.

GeraldineAubergine · 07/10/2010 12:20

I'm a nurse and if I see an accident/someone needing medical care and I don't attempt to help and someone recognises me, I can be struck off the NMC register and banned from practice. But then I can't imagine why I wouldn't help tbh, very weird.

Ragwort · 07/10/2010 12:21

Well said kreecher - you and I must be in the minority - still seem to lead a normal life !

melikalikimaka · 07/10/2010 12:28

He must be 'de-sensitised' to accidents, being he does it for a living. What a wonderful feeling that gives me, if God forbid, I am ever in his vicinity and in need of help.

NotInTheSlightest · 07/10/2010 13:15

I don't like that you shared someone's private FB status on a public forum.

miniwedge · 07/10/2010 13:20

how do you know whether or not it is a private status? Are you privy to this total strangers settings "notintheslightest"?

The bloke sounds like a cock.

Although.... could it be that he had seen the driver get out and appear to be fine?

Tippychoocks · 07/10/2010 15:03

I'm with Kreecher and ragwort fwiw

frgr · 07/10/2010 15:04

I agree with you, i find it odd that someone wouldn't go out to help (esp. if has recent medical expertise in this case)

however:

my h works with a contractor that used to be in the air force, he'd done basic first aid and emergency trauma training, and he witnessed a car crash whilst on holiday in the USA. it was somewhere in the south, relatively remote motorway, and he, of course, stopped. one car's driver was perfectly fine, he called the emergency services on his mobile, but the other lady in the other car had sustained injuries to her legs. worried about blood loss, apparently my H's colleague applied pressure to her upper leg, tried to see if there was anything else he could do - she ended up accusing him of sexual assault!

as i said, this is second hand as i've never acutally met the colleague, but it is something i have never thought of as a risk for stopping at a car accident scene, either the victim accusing you of assuault or even suing you if you make injuries worse e.g. removing a motorcyclist's helment and causing further spine damage (and i'm sure in 99.9% of cases this wouldn't be an issue, it's so odd), what is the world coming to!

Mowiol · 07/10/2010 16:22

Slightly off topic here but if any colleagues of this paramedic see his facebook entry would they not maybe report him for failing in his duty of care?

Don't know the ins and outs but he might find himself in hot water.

I don't use Facebook and I'm glad.
The fact that there are now companies out there who will search the internet on behalf of companies looking to employ individuals means that any potentially embarrassing or unfortunate things you may have posted on Fbook, twitter, Youtube blah blah will follow you around for a very long time.

LynetteScavo · 07/10/2010 16:29

If he rang the police, then I would presume he could see the driver was OK, otherwise he would have called an ambulance, surely.

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