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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think the Breast and Bottle feeding Board should be

125 replies

FunnysInTheGarden · 06/10/2010 22:28

renamed the Breast and Anti Formula campaigning board.

Who would have thought that folk who BF could get sooo worked up about formula companies and the way they market formula......

OP posts:
shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 10:02

tittybangbang - I was not commenting on the contents of this thread in particular. There are some women who post on these threads who say such unpleasant hurtful things that it can set someone back when suffering from PND or ill after birth. They will suggest that BFing is easy as they had no issues with it for example and that anyone who chooses to FF is sick. This is my experience and you will notice that I said that I felt that most were being helpful. Why would you take offence at this comment about other posters on the BF and FFing board? MN is brilliant for informed debate. I was merely suggesting that people upset and having issues may set themselves back by reading comments on here from a few ignorant people.

LoveBeingInvitedToTheVIPSale · 08/10/2010 10:03

renamed the Breast and Anti Formula campaigning board.

Who would have thought that folk who BF could get sooo worked up about formula companies and the way they market formula......

YABU, they should be split up and sent to different ends of the board to stop the fighting.

some people get so wound up because they have bf because they have such strong feelings, the same as some have strong feelings about ff.

My own view is that it is wrong that more babies are fed the milk of another animal rather than from their mother. I dont think ff will cause harm that will never be undone. I know that my dd was not healther than ff if the number of colds she caught is anything to go by. All mothers should recieve the support they need whatever they choose to do.

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 10:04

She hasn't posted has she?

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 10:05

Show me where someone has said women who ff are sick

please
please
please
show me

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 10:08

"They will suggest that BFing is easy as they had no issues with it for example and that anyone who chooses to FF is sick"

I've been visiting these boards for years and I've NEVER seen anyone so much as hint that a mum who chooses not to breastfeed is 'sick'. I've also never seen anyone imply or state that breastfeeding is easy for everyone. If anyone did either of those two things they'd be jumped on from a great height by all the other posters on the board. Surely a sensitive new mum would see how unpopular these sorts of attitudes are here and feel comforted by that?

SirBoobAlot · 08/10/2010 10:08

Oh for goodness sakes...

If you don't like it, don't read it. Every response I have ever read on there to question, be it big or small, about breastfeeding or formula feeding, has been helpful, and been answered in a way to help both mother and baby get through a challenging time in the best way for them.

You need to get that bee out of your bonnet because you're going to give yourself and the rest of us a headache.

Formula companies do market unethically, and I don't think its just people who breastfeed who are aware of that.

If you have decided to formula feed for whatever reason, then fine. But there is no need to try and make breastfeeding mothers feel bad for pointing out the logical and obvious.

Find something else to get pissy about, this is getting very old.

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 10:13

OK, I have seen these kind of comments on several occasions on this subject and mainly on MN unfortunately. Yes, people will often disagree with and challenge the poster, but personally just reading these comments set me back. I am merely stating how it affected me after a traumatic birth and failure to BF. No, I cannot tell you about a specific thread as I don't tend to read them anymore (DS is now 1). This has only come on to my radar as posted in AIBU.

altinkum · 08/10/2010 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 10:24

Well said!

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 10:27

altinkum - thanks for the wise words. I did deal with it. Thanks for your concern. I am not disputing the dodgy practices of some formula companies. If you read my original comment, I just suggested that mums who have had issues with BFing steer clear of these threads on MN. Christ.

altinkum · 08/10/2010 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altinkum · 08/10/2010 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngelsOnHigh · 08/10/2010 10:38

Two weeks ago some ladies in OZ were arrested because they stormed a pharmacy and tried to remove the "genetically modified" formula from the shelves.

Who gives these presumably BF mothers the right to dictate to mothers who FF what they should feed their babies?

I don't recall ever seeing the mothers of FF babies trying to cut off the milk supply of BF babies.

I know that sounds ludicrous but isn't it about time that everyone's choice is respected.

Yes! most people say they fully support Mothers who FF but they nearly always add an adjunct such as "we're not criticising you, only the formula companies" "I don't agree with feeding babies another animal's milk".

Personally speaking I BF because I found it easy and I was too lazy to bother with bottles and sterilizing.

We also must remember that what the mother eats also goes to the baby. I guess that includes the enormous amount of cows milk I drank.Grin

evs34 · 08/10/2010 10:39

signing out. enough is enough.

tiktok · 08/10/2010 11:04

(Haven't disappered - just haven't posted on this thread, until.....now!)

shinyboots - you are not just saying you suggest mothers with problems about feeding not to read the breast/bottle board. You are quite entitled to advise mothers that way, though I happen to think they might find something helpful there, personally.

But what people object to is you saying things like "there are a hardcore group of people who seem to enjoy making others feel like sh#t," and "[people have said] ff mothers are sick" because you are talking about real posters, regulars on the boards, who would not dream of saying anything cruel or hurtful. You are asked to back up your accusations with examples, and you backtrack.

A little while ago, I got 'caught', when a woman asked clearly and directly, what might be the reasons for a midwife worrying about slow weight gain. She wanted information, she said, not vagueness. I told her, explaining I could not assess her baby blah blah blah, and she unleashed a great deal of distress and anger at me for scaring her. She totally misread my post, and ignored the fact she had asked for info...because she was in a difficult place emotionally and was very, very sensitive and anxious.

This happens. When people are anxious, distressed, frightened, angry, guilty, tired etc etc, they see and read things that are not only not intended but are not even there. So someone is 100 per cent certain there is a cabal of mumsnet posters who actually want to make other mothers feel bad. They are positive they regularly see posters describing formula as evil, or poison. And so on. It may be that in that sort of emotional 'place', the breast/bottle board may not be the best board to browse, because the result could be even more distress and anger, or, in Funny's case, a severe case of silly school playground baiting and smirking.

But there is no reason for distress and anger to lead to bizarre accusations and imagined conspiracies, really.

tiktok · 08/10/2010 11:10

Angels - link to the Oz story? Passed me by, that one. Sounds very strange.

Maybe they were objecting to GM in milk, rather than formula?

I would not support any attempt anywhere to stop ff babies getting their milk.

You're wrong about all foods in the mother's diet going to the milk, by the way.

Many, many breastfeeding mothers find their babies 'milk supply' is under threat of being 'cut off' from outside sources. I am a breastfeeding counsellor and I hear from mothers all the time that their choice to breastfeed is undermined by strong and persuasive movements to 'put the baby on a bottle' from HCPs, from families, friends, partners.

What is wrong with clarifying that it is unethical marketing from manufacturers that is worthy of criticism, so ff mothers are aware it is not them who are being criticised? Do you not believe this?

BigOfNoorks · 08/10/2010 11:13

I have never seen a bfer call a ffer sick however I have been called weird and creepy on here for bf nice Hmm and I can link to it if you would like. These sort of threads are what makes people think it is ok to call me these names and make me leave shops.

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 11:20

I will re-iterate yet again that I was referring to my experiences when having problems BFing and reading threads on MN in search of help. There were several posters there who would come on to threads and make unpleasant comments. Most posters are very helpful re. BFing as I previously said, but these people do exist. I found that these commments at the time were more prevalent on MN than other sites in my experience.

I did not suggest that there was any conspiracy in any way. Some people may imagine things that are not there, that is probably true.I was suffering from PND, but I am sure that I was not hallucinating. I am capable of ascertaining the meaning of a comment by reading it.
I did not "backtrack". I just have not kept the URLs of the discussions I read a year ago perhaps surprisingly.

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 11:22

BigOfNoorks - The person concerned was clearly out of order for making that comment. That is the problem with the boards IMO, people feel that they can make assertions like this, whether pro or anti BF/FF

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 11:23

Anyway moving on as this is just going in circles now...

SweetCheesus · 08/10/2010 11:26

shinyboots - I've lurked on the BF topic for over a year now.
Very occasionally, I have come across the comments that you are talking about - but rarely.(and even then, they do come across as advice, just maybe not the advice you want to hear - which is true with anything in life, not just feeding babies)
However, I've always felt these are cancelled out by posters such as Funnys who seem to regard every post they make as an opportunity for an argument.

Maybe people who can't read that topic without getting worked up should just hide the topic? Then everyone's a winner.

Please, Funnys, just hide it!

RandomMusings · 08/10/2010 11:27

and the very worst thing is that the OP said upthread that she starts these threads for FUN

never mind the upset caused as long as she can have a laugh, eh

BigOfNoorks · 08/10/2010 11:28

Well yes to call someone one wierd or creepy or sick for making a valid feeding choice is horrid. But I hate it when people say things like bfing nazis and various other insults some people come on and shit stir (trolls) but most genuine posters on here do not wish to hurt someone and sweeping generalizations are incorrect and do not help anyone.

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 11:30

I did not make a sweeping generalisation as per previous comments. I assume you are referring to the OP? Now definitely moving on...

RandomMusings · 08/10/2010 11:32

so yes, BoN, this thread is trolling; started for inflammatory purposes only

I suggest ignore and let it die

and add OP to list of posters to ignore

Swipe left for the next trending thread