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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the Breast and Bottle feeding Board should be

125 replies

FunnysInTheGarden · 06/10/2010 22:28

renamed the Breast and Anti Formula campaigning board.

Who would have thought that folk who BF could get sooo worked up about formula companies and the way they market formula......

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 08:57

Funnys, so you want us to drop it now...until next time?

SugarPlum
"Funny, YANBU. which is why i make a point of answering any FF questions i see posted there with comments other than...

"gee i dont know as i BF but have you considered relactivation?"
"

ooh show us a selection of those please? I ahve only seen relactation mentioned on a thread where e.g. a mother mentions she stopped feeding a couple of weeks ago and wishes she hadn't.

pommedeterre · 08/10/2010 09:03

Stealth - I do actually agree with SugarPlum on this one. I'd go and try and find some but I don't know how to link them anyway. I would second her 'feeling' that any 'I'm starting ff and unsure how to do it' topic is usually invaded by 'You don't have to give up bf you know!' comments.
It is a little irritating. if I were the OP I'd have something to say about it. I do quite often have something to say about things though Smile

CrosswordGeek - You'll never understand ff? Huh? what is there to not understand? Don't be precious.

chibi · 08/10/2010 09:07

right

so from now one when someone posts

how do you make up formula safely

what should people reply - do whatever the fuck you want?

or when someone says

is my baby getting enough bm i don't want to stop yet

ah shurrup just use formula you whinging goat

or when someone asks are there benefits to feeding past 6 months/5 minuts/whatever

we can say who gives a shit, studies shmudies, only a lunatic would think the sole source of nutrition for the first few months of life would make a difference

or perhaps all queries could be met with whatever you think dear

or maybe there shouldn't be any responses at all

what would make you happy exactly?

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 09:07

YANBU

It's dreadful the way formula companies get treated in this country. I mean - only 98% of babies drink the stuff. If formula companies were able to marketing their product more freely, without all the moaning and whining from lactivists, gosh - they could achieve 100% market saturation! And what a good thing that would be! Hmm

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 09:08

ah hang on that's very different, that's NOT relactation.
Yes, people do say that, me included. When people say things like "I'll be going back to work when my baby's 11 months and so have to have him weaned by then". Just pointing out that actually there's maybe another option. Maybe you'd prefer them to make a decision based on a false assumption?
Lets suppress the facts in the name of not making other women feel guilty - there's a way to patronise women and treat them like silly little idiots.

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 09:09

"relactivation"

I think you've fallen prey to the insidious lexical influence of George Bush.

Grin
StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 09:10

My baby wil be 6 months and I have to wean
I'm going back to work soon so have to have weaned him off bm by then

YES YOU DO!

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 09:12

anyway, as Funnys says, let's drop it now, until next time she chooses to start a BF bashing thread

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 09:12

chibi, I think the answer should be
"You know your bubs hun"

evs34 · 08/10/2010 09:15

Why don't you all relax, take a deep breath and stop being horrid. Each to their own. Mums should be supporting each other no matter how they choose to feed. We all know that breast is best but this is not an ideal world and not everyone can or wants to breastfeed.
There appear to be some bitter and twisted ladies on both sides of the fence.

DetectivePotato · 08/10/2010 09:19

OP, YANBU.

Sassybeast · 08/10/2010 09:20

OP - you definately have issues about your self perceived failure (I'm referring to your labelling of yourself as a failed breastfeeder in your first thread on the topic) The fact that you admit that it STILL winds you up is quite sad. Perhaps some professional help is in order, since you don't seem to be getting the support/answers/nodding dog agreement that you seem to be seeking here ? One session of counselling might be all it takes to get over your issues? Carrying around so much frustration and hostility can't be good for anyone?

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 09:20

We know that evs
But some women DO want to BF and can't because of lack of support from the people who are meant to be helping them
Some people haven't ever considered bf, and because we live in a ff culture, never would do
If breast is best, why is working to correct those two things 'being horrid'?
We are not in the playground!

CrosswordGeekWantsChange · 08/10/2010 09:25

Glad you think I'm precious, it's the sparkle in my eye combined with the dimples in my cheeks, isn't it?

Should have phrased that better, so I will. I will never understand making the choice to formula feed, is that better for you? I don't see what's precious about that. I could never imagine thinking "Oh look at these perfectly created lumps on my chest that are making milk for my lovely little baby.... Can someone pass me a bottle of SMA please?" Sorry. Like I say, doesn't mean I think that those that do are EVILLLLLL or horrible Mothers, I just don't understand it.

Like olives, I don't understand them, either. They're barfy.

pommedeterre · 08/10/2010 09:27

That works better thank you CrosswordGeek.
SPB - But it happens even on threads where the OP has made an informed decision about what is right for them. It can across a patronising in that you think the OP hasn't considered these options...
Anyways enough. Ironing to do.

BigOfNoorks · 08/10/2010 09:28

FFS op get a life and grow up

evs34 · 08/10/2010 09:33

I realise these issues - i am a breast feeding peer supporter with the nct/childrens centres. In our area we are trying really hard to encourage and support breast feeding mums. There is generally a lack of support and advertising for breast feeding and bottle feeding probably is the easier option for a lot of mums - still this does not mean we don't try and support each other in our choices.

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2010 09:36

So do you think in your peer supporter role you are being horrid?
Lots of people who post on here in response to people struggling are peer supporters or bfcs. What they want is for women to make the right decision for them in possession of all the facts.

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 09:39

Anyone fancy a huge Friday bun-fight?

Why doesn't someone go and post the OP on the Debate board at Bounty with a link back to mumsnet?

It'll be like those fights you used to have at school - you know, the ones where kids come running from all directions, shouting abuse and swinging their satchels around their heads. Might be invigorating me'thinks.

Would do it myself BTW but I'm banned from Bounty. Grin

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 09:40

just kidding by the way! Wink

shinybootsofleather · 08/10/2010 09:46

I think my advice to anyone who has had trouble with BFing is NOT to come on Mumsnet and read the posts on this issue. Seek advice and support elsewhere. I am sure I will be leaped on for this comment, but I found reading posts after having DS really set me back. I had real trouble after EMCS and numerous visits from a BF counsellor. Was told I had flat nipples and with G-cup boobs, I really had trouble BFing. Most people on here are well-aware breast is best and this does not need to be re-iterated ad infinitum. I have often been in tears after reading some of the posts on here from MNers. DS is now 1 and I am a little more together about the issues I had, but failure to BF is too tied up with PND and other issues. I know most posters on the board are trying to help, but there are a hardcore group of people who seem to enjoy making others feel like sh#t.
MN is brilliant for lots of other things btw!

MummyBerryJuice · 08/10/2010 09:51

Go SPB go!! What really gets me is how people feel they need to justify their guilt by turning BFers into 'nazi's'. Our society tends to set us up for failure when it comes to BFing (most mums do not get enough support or correct info to enable them to continue). This does not mean that it is impossible to BF. Those giving help and support and info to mums on here are trying to enable mums to continue to bf for as long as she is able to.

They are not smug radicals. Just mums trying to help other mums.

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 09:56

"but there are a hardcore group of people who seem to enjoy making others feel like sh#t."

That's a really unkind accusation.

The fact is that there's any point to breastfeeding at all is continuously challenged on this site and elsewhere by women arguing that there are no worthwhile benefits in it for babies, or arguing that the all the science on which current breastfeeding recommendations are flawed and meaningless. These comments will be challenged if they're made on mumsnet - and that's what makes this site fantastic and important: that it's one of the few places mums can come where they can hear a genuinely well informed and wide ranging discussion of the issue. They certainly won't get anything like the RANGE of views on any other popular board (like Netmums or Bounty) because there is a lot of self-censorship heavy handed moderation going on on those sites when it comes to sensitive discussions like this.

GMajor7 · 08/10/2010 09:58

Been following this thread with much interest...I am either going insane or tiktok's posts have disappeared from the thread. How so?

tittybangbang · 08/10/2010 09:58

Sorry - terrible grammar and typos!

meant to say: "That there's any point to breastfeeding at all is continuously challenged on this site and elsewhere by women arguing that there are no worthwhile benefits in it for babies, or arguing that the all the science on which current breastfeeding recommendations are based is flawed and meaningless".