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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to expect my 18 month DS to sit for 5 mins?

30 replies

AddictedToCoffee · 06/10/2010 13:21

I took him for a session of nursery rhyme singing and signing (his 3rd one ever) and after the first 10 mins he had had enough and wanted to get out. Spent the next 20 mins walking up and down the stairs of the library, which he was much more interested in!!! He much prefers the indoor play areas where he gets to run around and expend his energy.

Should he be made to sit and join in or is this being unreasonable? Other mothers have said that if he isn't 'taught' to do it now, then he'll have real problems when he starts school.

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 06/10/2010 13:24

He's 18 months old, he wants to run about, explore, be a toddler! Not sit in the same spot for half an hour listening to mums sing naff nursery rhymes Wink

redskyatnight · 06/10/2010 13:25

DS was exactly the same (and still is to some degree at age 6, albeit he now recognises when he HAS to sit still e.g. at carpet time at school).

I quietly stopped taking him to nice quiet singing type sessions very quickly and went to the park instead.

18 months is way too early to be worrying about "having" to sit still.

Crazycatlady · 06/10/2010 13:32

DD is like this (21 months). Totally normal. It has to be something really, really fascinating to make DD sit still for more than 30 seconds. Like food or something...

I am encouraging her to learn to sit down in a certain spot while I'm doing things in the kitchen in the evening, and she gets a cup of milk to have as a reward. She now understands what 'sit down' means and stays there just chatting for a few minutes (instead of her usual running and rampaging) so we're making progress.

lindsell · 06/10/2010 13:33

Yabu to expect it but yadnbu to wish for it! My 18mo ds only sits still when he's eating...

At 18mo they naturally have very short attention spans and the only time my ds will stay engaged for longer is if there is a change of activities so in the music group we go to there are different musical instruments for each songs (so putting them away and getting new ones out between each song as well which is a favourite activity!) lots of active songs etc. I've given up going to anything where he would be expected to sit still for v long. My view is he's happier if he's running around exploring stuff and he's going to have plenty of time when he's older to learn about sitting still!

In his nursery (he goes 3 days a wk) it's not until 2.5/3 and older that they do longer activities sitting down so my view is that it's not generally expected until then!

I have observed though that amongst my friends' babies the girls generally seem to be better at sitting still than the boys!

WhiteElefant · 06/10/2010 13:55

I work in a library and when I do storytime I don't expect the little ones to stay still for the full 20 minutes. Part of the point of these sorts of activities is for children to start learning to sit still, but working up to 20mins or half an hour can take a long time, 2 minutes can be hard for some so 5 to 10 mins is a good start.
And don't feel you can't take him just because he doesn't last the whole time, no one will mind you leaving part way through.

Original poster
AddictedToCoffee · 06/10/2010 17:06

Thanks for the replies - being a first time mother tends to make you worry about everything! Nice to have a bit of reassurance :)

OP posts:
Lougle · 06/10/2010 20:40

It really is down to personality Smile. My eldest DD has severe SN, so sitting at all is a real challenge.

DD2 wouldn't really sit at that age, but she had DD1 as her example, and when DD1 ran around, she followed. Now at 3, she will sit happily for long periods.

DD3 is 18 months next week, and has sat for an activity from around 14 months. But it is simply her personality - she thinks she is at least 4, and wants to be doing everything her sisters do. In the morning, I put her sisters' hair up, and she comes marching over saying 'me, me', so her scrap of hair has to go up too!

They all grow up and sit down eventually. There's no rush.

Tokyotwist · 06/10/2010 20:53

Keep taking him. Eventually kids will copy what the other kids are doing. Personally I wouldn't worry about it. My 2 yr old still seems to spend most of her time on the go and only sits to draw or eat. I love the fact that she finds things so interesting she has to keep investigating.

NellyTheElephant · 06/10/2010 20:54

I agree with the pp. Some children LOVE that sort of rhyme time singing stuff, others don't. DD1 really hated it and so did I. All the other children sat beautifully, clapping, singing, signing and all she wanted to do was run about and climb on the chairs escape out of the door etc etc. It was a nightmare and even though I'd paid for a term's worth of sessions I rarely went. With DD2 I had no intention of taking her but ended up at a session with a friend and discovered she LOVED it - DD2 was one of those babies I had envied first time round sitting happily in the circle singing etc.....my friend's baby on the other hand was dashing around, jumping of chairs and screaming!!

tethersend · 06/10/2010 20:57

I have trouble sitting through that shit for more than 10 minutes and I'm 33.

Greedygirl · 06/10/2010 21:40

Story time at the library used to drive me round the bend, my DS was swinging off the bookcases! I gave up but we now go to a fab music and dance session where the kids are generally encouraged to run around and move and make lots of noise and he loves it. In the middle of the session they sit and listen to each other sing "show time!", maybe your LO would prefer something more active too. But I definitely wish my 2.9 yr old would sit still for more than 5 mins (without Scooby and the gang being on TV) so I am with you there.

poppymouse · 06/10/2010 22:20

I'm a first time mum too, my DS is a little older than yours. It is easier to plan activities where he can run around. I have been surprised by his attention span sometimes so I have to remind myself not to give up on sitting activities, he can do it but he's going to need a bit of encouragement to get better.

Meglet · 06/10/2010 22:23

yabu.

Some children can manage it and some can't.

My dc's usually wanted to wander off so let them explore instead. They have learnt to sit still for longer as they have got older though.

HobnobHeaven · 06/10/2010 22:28

My little one is the same. He's getting better now he knows the actions to certain songs, but if he doesn't know the song he doesn't care to sit still.

Be grateful he wore himself out on the stairs rather than getting up to mischeif; my DS often insists on removing all the books from the shelves and putting them in a big pile to sit on.

HobnobHeaven · 06/10/2010 22:29

.. er mischief, not mischeif... will pick up a dictionary next time I'm at the library Blush

cat64 · 06/10/2010 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Icoulddoitbetter · 06/10/2010 22:55

My DS is only 12 months but it's clear that he's going to be this type of child and I'm just going to have to accept it! Actually it's pretty reassuring reading this thread as I'm already worrying about his attention span which is ridiculous.
Hobnobheaven that's going to be mine, any shelf drawer or cupboard in fiar game!

Mermaidspam · 06/10/2010 22:59

roffle @ tethersend

pollyblue · 06/10/2010 23:11

My twins are 20 months now and wouldn't sit still for that long, curiosity just gets the better of them and they keep pottering off. But they do understand "sit down please" and will obligingly drop to the floor if asked - they just won't stay there for more than a moment or two.

ConnorTraceptive · 06/10/2010 23:15

What tehersend said!

I never bother with those sorts of things as ds loathes to sit still.

loveinsuburbia · 07/10/2010 00:10

"Other mothers have said that if he isn't 'taught' to do it now, then he'll have real problems when he starts school."
What about if you don't start teaching him to read right now too? :)

They're being ridiculous. He's 18 months old. He does not have a 10 minute plus attention span, nor does he have the ability to grasp the idea that sometimes we have to sit through things we don't fancy.

There are some children who do sit and watch everything, but it's down to the individual child and your son sounds completely and utterly normal.

thecaptaincrocfamily · 07/10/2010 00:18

If he is interested he will sit....obviously he isn't bothered.

I do expect children to sit while they eat though, for safety. As an ex CM I didn't allow children to get up and wonder then. Once they understand the rules they are fine. Lots of boys don't like singing and rhyme and to be honest the teacher sounds crap if she doesn't do actions where children can get up and down and let them be active. Reading to him will help develop his concentration and patients, bedtime is better so they have story or go to sleep and usually they sit for a story then.

mumeeee · 07/10/2010 00:20

YABU. 10 minutes is a long time for an 18 month old to sit. In fact it's a long time for a 2 year old to sit.

Heracles · 07/10/2010 02:26

He's 18 MONTHS OLD.

nappyaddict · 14/10/2010 09:18

Try a different music group. DS wasn't expected to sit still until he was in the preschool class which was for 3-5 year olds.

In our area we have Jo Jingles. Their sessions are £4.50 for 45 minutes so the best value of the ones near us.

There's also Music Bugs which is £4.20 for 40 minutes, Shake, Rattle and Rhyme which is £3.50 for 30 minutes, Music With Mummy which is £3.50 for 30 minutes and Rhythm Time which is £3.75 for 30 minutes.