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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little suspicious/paranoid

95 replies

Broodymomma · 03/10/2010 16:32

Ok so dh is away on a lads weekend. Last night walking home from a club with all of the lads he said he decided to take a short cut alone and walk through the woods which seen him arrive back at the place they were staying 3hrs after the others at 4am.

I am not normally paranoid but for some reason this just does not ring true that he would leave his pals whilst all walking home and he seemed too quick to tell
Me this story I suppose incase someone mentioned he did not go home with the guys.

So Aibu to he suspicious here?

OP posts:
BrianAndHisBalls · 03/10/2010 18:44

sorry, the Hmm was supposed to be after the '...leave his friends' Blush

ledkr · 03/10/2010 18:49

was he dogging?

ledkr · 03/10/2010 18:51

Lots of similar psots every Sunday morning after "lads nights out" I think its right to be suspicious but be carefull all the cool and laid back trusting ones will be on here soon to flame you and call you needy and suspicious :o

Neon · 03/10/2010 19:05

Maybe his body language was different when he came home was because your body language wasn't as welcoming as normal? Perhaps he fell asleep in the woods... Maybe he blacked out and can't actually remember where he went!!!! Hmm

constantlytired · 03/10/2010 19:05

Hope you get to the bottom of things, i can imagine that everything is going through your head right now.....sounds weird though...are you friendly with any of the people that were with your DH that night that may help with answers?

Nancy66 · 03/10/2010 19:07

is it a gay cruising area at night?

Mumcentreplus · 03/10/2010 19:20

If he blacked out why didn't he just say so?..if he fell in a bush and fell alseep why not confess?..I mean the world wont end if your wife knows you slept in a bluddy bush!!..tis weird I tells ya!..are you open as a couple?..do you judge him?..does he judge you?..

Anenome · 03/10/2010 19:23

My brother does thing like that a lot when he's had a few too many...he once walked down a motorway and went to sleep in an abandoned crat by the side of the road! He has also been known to wander off alone...I think it's a man thing.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 03/10/2010 19:31

Well he has sworn on ds's life that he just thought the other way was quicker and he wandered off pissed and ended up in woodland in the pitch dark and could not find his way back. He now says it was 2 hrs not 3. Not that it makes a difference. He cant believe I dont believe him and that it has even crossed my mind that he is lying. He said he told me as he thought I would find it funny he got lost for so long.

Yeah we are very open with eachother and I am pretty laid back about things - would not upset or surprise me if he fell asleep in a bush so dont think he is embarrassed about admitting to something like that.

So I believe him or try and forget it now I suppose. I just hate feeling this doubt in what he is telling me.

He did say he never cuddled me as he felt the "vibe" as soon as he came in. So easier for him to turn on tv and ignore the fact I was upset.

OP posts:
anothermum92 · 03/10/2010 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BrianAndHisBalls · 03/10/2010 19:41

up to you what you do obviously but it may be worth having a quick chat with any of your friends whose husbands were they to put your mind at ease. Pick one who is very discrete and trustworthy though.

fedupofnamechanging · 03/10/2010 19:42

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, if he doesn't have previous.

Maybe a sneaky look through his mobile later?
(just in case)

fedupofnamechanging · 03/10/2010 19:45

Meant to mention that my brother fell asleep after a few too many drinks. He woke up on a roundabout and claimed to have been abducted by aliens, the dickhead fool.

Men fall asleep in stupid places and have stupid ideas when drunk!

TiggyD · 03/10/2010 19:52

Is it a dogging/cruising area? Sounds a bit late night for that though. What park was it?

MaudOHara · 03/10/2010 19:55

I would be a bit suspicious about this - thing is if it was dark and he was pissed disorientated it is possible he may have got lost - but for so long??

If he'd been walking for 3 hours then unless he's very fit his legs will be aching and his shoes would be very muddy - do these things tie up?

RageAgainstTheTeen · 03/10/2010 19:58

agree with maud

It was pissing down here last night,was it raining where you are Broody?

In any case,2 hours of pissed up rambling through woodland as Maud said,his clothes and shoes would be filthy and he'd probably have a few scrapes.

BrianAndHisBalls · 03/10/2010 20:12

i think dogging/cruising etc is a red herring, i assume he didn't actually wander off into woodland, I think he just left his mates, to go where and do what I would (again) assume was far more ordinary and actually just invloved going back to the outside of the nightclub to meet up with whatever woman he'd 'pulled' inside.

Problem is even if he is teling the truth then this is the kind of things that can ruin a marriage because of the suspicion aroused Sad

Anenome · 03/10/2010 20:13

Broodymamma I say you just believe him...he has no previous and I have remembered another anecdote to give you some comfort! I once got lost on a large housing estate in my own Town! Less than a mile form my own home! And this was last year...I simply lost my bearings...it does happen.

windowsandwalls · 03/10/2010 20:17

I can't believe he walked through woods in the pitch black without sustaining any injuries. Have a look at his shoes, see if the condition of them fits in with a night time wood walk. We were out at a friends recently and opted to walk home rather than take a lift with someone who had been drinking all night, and believe me could not even see our hands in front of us (country lane).

Was the moon full last night? Maybe credible if it was.

CappuccinoCarrie · 03/10/2010 20:18

Is it possible he's covering for his friends - that one of them has behaved inappropriately and he's trying to protect their marriage by making up an excuse as to why they weren't together for a large portion of the night?

Neon · 03/10/2010 20:21

I agree with CappuccinoCarrie maybe there is a more plausible reason.

TiggyD · 03/10/2010 20:36

I think you should show him this thread so he can see what people are thinking.

Mumcentreplus · 03/10/2010 20:45

It is possible he just got lost but why be weird about it..bluddy men..

Original poster
Broodymomma · 03/10/2010 20:49

God this is mad don't know what to think now. He went as far as showing me the place on google map where he got lost. Between the town centre and where he stayed was a massive woodland bit with paths through it then a motorway type road to cross to get to where they stayed. He said he hit the motorway eventually then had to go all way back as he couldn't cross it. Hence the reason he took so long.

Checked his shoes which still looked brand new apart from a few water marks. I said they hardly look like you have been through a forest and he said he was on the paths. He seems to be pissed off now and has said he has sworn on ds life what else can he do.

I think he has just been bloody stupid and I do actually believe him now but perhaps I am being the stupid one!

God I can't believe it's made me feel like this. I told him to turn it round and how would he feel if I had done that and he agreed it does look bad but he swears he done nothing wrong.

Fucking men they just don't think about how their actions may look.

OP posts:
Panzee · 03/10/2010 20:50

I would leave it for now and maybe do some digging if you're still uneasy.