to want to throw molotov cocktails into CUPCAKE cafes named after small birds

[GetOrfMoiLand]

There is a new one in Cheltenham (ponce town) called the Swallow Bakery.

Staffed by supercilious Diana Vickered hair students who curl their lip when you ask them to clear a table. Don't speak down to me, young lady, you work in a CAKE shop, like Barbara Royle.

£2.80 for a cupcake
£4.90 for slice of chocolate cake
£4.50 for a milkshake
£10 yes TEN ENGLISH POUNDS for a devon cream tea
£6 for tuna carpaccio sandwich.

I took DD in there for a treat (breaking a lifetime cupcake veto) and it made me fume.

Am I a miserable bastard or do I have a point in HATING cupcake business ventures?

Yes the more the merrier
and you'll be the first customers
nevergoogle, get your pinny on! I'll snap on the dampened gloves!

I like the glistening poo effect. We're behind the times here in the rural north. No doubt in a year or so I'll be turning my nose up.

If you can bear to cross the M5 there is a lovely cafe/cake shop in Churchdown called The Chosen Cafe which sells divine homemade cakes Bill for drinks for four plus cakes often sits around the £7 mark!

Damn, somebody already did the Thrush joke.

These are real "I saw you coming" places, aren't they? (From Harry & Paul.)

Ugly Buns and Rank Coffee -- count me in as a customer!

FWIW it's buns up north, fairy cakes down south, cup cakes in America and Australia.

BUT, traditionally at least, buns, fairy cakes and Aussie cup cakes should never have more than a quarter of an inch or so of icing. I love fairy cakes, but hate the newfangled mountain of icing -- it's like eating a pat of butter

wow, I never have araldyte whatever-something just "lying around" !

I'm thinking of a no icing venture called Bare Muffins.

It may, however, attract the wrong sort of customer.

Will Bare Muffins also have baps on offer?
Will you have crusty bloomers?
I suggest you keep your produce on a shelf behind the counter so nobody fingers your buns.

Nice big floury baps.

If I supply some cream will you give me the horn?

Sd are we now officially competitors?
Ugly Buns policy on cake decoration is the barer the better. We sometimes chuck some hundreds and thousands at the ones near the window

I discovered yesterday we have a teeny tiny cupcake cafe in Aberdeen. It has 4 seats. It's called "the blackbird cafe". WHY the bird reference? I've not been...

Ooh restrainedrabbit, I've just moved to that area, where's the cafe?

Oh, Bumper, honestly, Google: here.

Looks nice ... free wifi ... girds loins and resolves to cross M5

Sounds like we ought to be having a meet-up in the Waitrose cafe, never mind elsewhere.

Ahem, ugly buns is open for business
we are cheap
and we serve mediocre coffee (we've upgraded the machine)
10% discount if you bring in a receipt for a mooncup with the letters MN on it

What discount do I get if I bring an actual mooncup in? And what if the mooncup iced using the squish and twist method?

You will get escorted out by Steve the buttercream squirter.
Unless you bring one in in the usual way ... in which case we'll never know

Heh, buttercream icing in a conventionally positioned mooncup - we're back to the Thrush Bakery again.

"bare muffins"

snorted my camomile tea at that one! wish i wasnt so tired and ill so i could think of something funny ...

I think I'm ready to be an out-and-proud cupcake cynic.
I have various friends who make them really well, and I've always admired how they look. For DD's birthday this year I rose to the challenge and made two beautiful cake stands full of elegant cupcakes, and I will remain proud of the photos.

But man, did eating them make me feel sick!

Damn it, if only I'd kept the mooncup receipt!
If I cut my own hair can I have the discount?

mmmm, cocktails.

Rofl at you lot. I'm roaring at the Thrush Bakery.

You can make less sickly frosting with cream cheese. Def one for the Thrush to try