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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not feel guilty about beating someone up?

78 replies

Notyetamummy · 01/10/2010 14:21

My brother, who is 355 days younger than me, was very ill when he was young. He had severe asthma & excema (had to be wet-wrapped & creamed all over every night), had callipers on both of his legs due to Perthes disease, was behind in school as he was always in the hospital and was very small for his age.

I was healthy and average size, therefore always bigger/faster etc. than my brother.

When I was about 8 and my brother was about 7 I caught this lad in my brother's class (so one year younger than me) who had cornered my brother behind the school bins & was whipping him with tree branches & saying horrible things to him. Angry

I punched him in the face, bloodying his nose, & my best & I friend put him in the big bin.

His mother got called in, took him to the doctors' about his face (his nose was quite badly damaged) & we got in big trouble about bullying younger children. We were never cruel to younger children, this was a one-off offence but as it was 'serious' we were in big trouble.

Anyway, when I left primary I didn't see this chap again for a very very long time until last week when I went out with some of DH's friends & he was a friend of DH's friend and was there. He is huge now! I didn't recognise him but he told me who he was. He was very pleasant and we got on OK but then he said "Do you remember that time that you and ... ganged up on me & broke my nose?" Attempting to make me feel guilty.

Am I unreasonable to still, now that I am older and wiser, not feel guilty?

I suppose I would tell children now to tell a teacher & not use violence, but I can still picture my poor little brother being so upset - he was regularly bullied by this boy and I think he deserved the beating.

OP posts:
tinkletinklelittlestar · 02/10/2010 21:51

YANBU.

It just made me think of all the times I stood up for my sister when she was smaller. Kids that were older then her but younger than me.

One time, I deliberately tripped (volley kicked through the air) a boy who had been hitting my sister (not seen by me but sister had marks to prove it and her behaviour around him gave it away) and he was verbally abusive to females generally (youngest boy of our CM so he could do no wrong); his big brother (older than me) squared up to me and accused me of hurting his precious little brother and I said well, he shouldn't bully should he. The bullying of my sister ceased shortly after that. CM and my parents were oblivious.

rubbersoul · 02/10/2010 21:58

I say good for you OP. I would have done exactly the same in your position- what a great big sister to have Grin

A1980 · 03/10/2010 00:46

I would have set the record straight. Reminded him he had a fondness for bullying defenceless disabled children and but he can't handle being on the receiving end of it from a bigger child.

What a cunt he is!

I would also be pleased that you made such an impression on him that he actually raised it with you.

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