Not EVERY Night...

[Bathsheba]

My DH has a good job. He works close to the house and walks there and back.

We are very very thankful that he has a job - he worked very hard for it and enjoys it.

But EVERY NIGHT "something" comes up that means he has to stay late....

Nothing major, he isn;t a brain surgeon or a lifeboatman, he is a computer programmer...

This weeks its "there was a conference and then I had to go and test a machine", or "well there was a bit of code that wouldn't work..."

I know how lucky we both are, but when I have 3 children and DD3 who is 8 months is teething, just 1 night I'd like the clock to tick to 5:15 (he should finish at 5 and we are about 10 mins walk from his work) and hear his key in the door...

Just 1 night every so often....

Just 1 evening when I'm not thinking "will I feed the girls or will we wait on him, because he likes to be here for family dinner but as I have no idea when he'll actually walk through the door..." or 1 evening when I don;t phone his desk phone at 6:15 to see if he is still there or if he is on his way home...

(He DOES go away abroad fairly often, so I am used to not having him come home at all - at least on those nights I know what is happening, I know we can eat when we like rather than wait for him etc....)

Next week its "Oh there is a training course all day every day and then after that I'll need to do bits around the office...." so no idea when he'll be home any of next week either...

The DH in question can only behave this way because he has a SAH wife. If they were both working, and the children were being collected from a nursery, then somehow magically times would be stuck to. It sounds like OP's job is just an indefinite one, she is not expected to need to know when she can clock off at night.
Failing him changing, she needs to make a routine that suits her and the kids and let him fit in as he sees fit.
I don't think comparisons with the hours other people work are particularly helpful, we could do that about any job ad infinitum.

BoneyBack - read my post previous to that, then recall your judgement. Thank you

ffs.

Iggly, that's not the case either, I am not a SAHM, it's what DP's job entails.

Some people can't seem to understand that some jobs need above and beyond normal work hours (yes, DP is compensated with a good salary)

I know plenty of people working in that field who just don't get to work 9-5, no matter what their contract says.

I'm with the other posters who have suggested going with a set routine every day whether he is back or not. For your sake. I think you should talk to him about letting you know at a set time if he is likely to run late.