to take out my dc who has the pox?

[sleeplessinseatle]

Obviously not to playgroups etc, but I've got a baby at home and don't think I can cope otherwise. Is there anywhere we can safely go where there won't be lots of kids/pregnant women?

In terms of resonable or unreasonable risk, when my DS had it, I had to weigh up th actual circumstances - low on food and nappies, and no Calpol to give DS either, against the possible risk of encountering someone with a deficient immune system while going very quickly round an almost empty supermarket. I chose in favour of DS' comfort. So sue me.

Arsehole

Indeed

First of all can I say that I think both Loudlass and SassySusan must be made of stronger stuff than most of us here when they can come on and tell us such tragic stories about how they lost their children, purely to give a factual insight into the worst case scenario. I am truly sorry for both of you I can't begin to understand how something like that affects you.

Secondly I do agree that what Sassy said to SGB was a bit but then again if I had been trying to put a point across about something like that I think I would probably have said the same thing in response to some of the posts she got in reply!

But changing subject can I just say that those of you who say you (basically) think of anyoe who is out with a child with CP is selfish, ignorant and that they are pretty much scum, have you ever thought they may just be uninformed?

I say this because when my DS had CP (then aged 3) I had to take him to the doctors and there are no special provisions here, I don't drive and was truly skint so had to get the bus and was then advised by the doctor to go to Tesco and grab calomine lotion etc which obviously I did, this was 2 years ago wo and only through MN have I learned how dangerous CP can actually be to others so maybe rather than looking down your nose at people and dismissing them as selfish you should be calling for more information to be put out there by professionals as it is ot commonly known as a dagerous virus but as we now know it can be devastating to some!

While I have massive sympathy for what you are going through, and I can understand the anger you feel, this was a horrible thing to write.

If you had massive sympthay for what Loudlass and I have gone through, you would tell SGB that her recent post was horrible, not mine.

I have to admit if there was no other way I would still take DS out to get food ad medicine if needed but I would try and do another way if I could.

On reflection it's scary that so many of us have nobody to turn to in these circs to get a bottle of calamine or Calpol from the shops for us so we don't have to go out. No neighbours, no rellies, nobody? I dunno, maybe mumsnet has an aberrant population of isolated mums (and maybe I'm one myself).

' I chose in favour of DS' comfort. So sue me.'
That sounds abit, actually very, arrogant. Surely if you really HAD to go out you could put a raincover on the buggy or something? (assuming he was a baby/toddler at the time)Did you not know anyone else who could get you the items? It really sounds as though you don't care at all as long as you and yours are OK. Sure, your kids comfort is a priority but so are other people's lives?

I'd def get neighbours to go for me, I'm always asking things like that & hope in turn it encourages others to do same with me, I hate to think of people having no one to help them with relatively easy tasks that can be difficult at times due to all sorts of things. Think when so many people live away from family its good to support neighbours

'I chose in favour of DS' comfort. So sue me'

That is indeed a very arrogant statement.

You could always have asked a friend to do shopping on your behalf or done a shop online if you'd run out of essentials.

So people who genuinely don't have any other way but to go out and their child is not in a buggy and cannot drive should sit in their house and starve whilst their child is most likely screamig with discomfort?

I realise the dangers but if you do need to go and get stuff as quick as possible with an ill child the last thing you need is people scoffing down their bloody oses thinking that you must be oh so selfish, at the end of the day needs must sometimes! You can't judge everyone at face value.

I moved away from my family and friends (200 miles away) except my mum who was away at the time, and would'nt have dreamt of asking my neighbours for anything like that as they were not the type of people of would have trusted.

And what about docs appointment?

Oh perlees, no-one to turn to?.... erm internet shopping anyone...

FWIW, many of you need to seriously re-evaluate what the word isolated really means.

It does not mean being able to chat online to other people in your same situation, it means not having a living soul to talk to, to empathise, not having any access to any form of communications, no tv, no internet, no mobile. i lived this for 10 weeks at a time.

Even if i wanted to go out, I couldn't, cos it was not the done thing.

So there, that is isolation. If I can do it for periods of up to 10 WEEKS at a time, anyone can do 10 days, with TV, with telephone, with internet, with friends.

My previous comment of 'Sorry but this is hardly an original thread' referred to the way anyone who has been on MN for more than a week could tell you that CP threads always turn out like this.

As far as I can tell, when you or a near and dear member of your family get CP, you have to stay at home. For the sake of those less able to cope with it. Next time anyone has DC with CP, and wonders how can I get through this, spare a thought for what it was like for me ....

sassysusan, I am so very very sorry about your beloved daughter catherine.

there but for the grace of god go I.

I wrote further down my story with regards to CP, I was (am) so very very lucky to have bought my DD2 Holly home after she was so very ill with it at age 2, and again, to have come through (altho not unscathed) it again with DD3 - Natasha.

CP terrifies me, even now. It worries me that some people can be either so cavalier, or just so plain naive, about how bad CP can be.

YES, it is rare for such tragic losses to occur, but occur they do. And for that reason, if you do know your child has it, and also know of the possible risks of being out with said child, you would be selfish in the extreme to blithely go about your daily routine for that sake of a few days boredom.

and SGB, you are obviously entitled to your opinion, this is after all a free country, but to flippantly say that anyone who is worried or at risk should just get vaccintated or wear a germ suit, sorry, but that is a completely stupid comment.

My DD3 and I have both been vaccinated, twice, once while I was pregnant and at high risk of dying, once since. The vaccination has still NOT taken, DD3 and I are still always at risk. when it does the rounds, she cannot go to school, for altho she doesn;t get terribly ill anymore with it, she still does suffer, as do I.

and as for the germ suit comment, well, !!

Internet shopping is all well and good if you have the funds but as I said at the time I was completely skint, had £10 in my bank account. As far as I know you need to have atleast £25 worth of shopping so um... you do the math.

Thakfully that is not a situation I would be in now as I have decent neighbours and my DP and my mum don't tend to go away often (not together obviously :)) but there is people who are still in that situation and I don't think it's right that they are scowled out for trying to help their child.

Like I say sometimes needs must, if you sat in a house for 10 weeks and had people to bring you stuff then fair enough but ot everyone has that luxury!

This thread is becoming a car crash. SGB's last post was awfully insensitive given that there are recently bereaved on this thread. A lot of people need to get a grip this afternoon.

Your arrogance and insensitivity is astounding SGB. It is therefore not surprising that in your particular case, you have no one that you can ask to help you by going to the supermarket. I'm glad that for the majority of people on thise thread, a degree of thought for others and some social responsibility informs the risks that they take. Not some blind belief that they are the only important people in society.

SassySusan, your blog brought tears to my eyes. I can't do anything except say I am so deeply sorry for your loss and wish I could give you a big american style hug.... xxx

So sorry for everyone who has lost a DC to CP or have suffered other problems.

My friend's DS nearly died from CP as a toddler. Like SassySusan's DD, he had been perfectly healthy. Luckily for him he recovered, but at one point he had no pulse and no blood pressure, it was that close.

I am terrified of CP. When my older two had it we spent the whole summer holidays alone. A friend asked me to come over because she wanted her DD to catch it: I wouldn't. I just couldn't bear knowingly infecting someone even if their mother asked me to.

...Trying to figure that out now Sassy :o

Things like that do mhy head in LOL far too logical for my liking

DS had CP only a few weeks ago. I took him to the doctors then popped into the small pharmacy next door to me to pick up his prescription. After that we didn't go anywhere. Dull as it was I wouldn't knowingly take him out and about with CP.

It's so easy to unknowingly do it though. THe day before his first spots came up we were at a mum and baby group. I have since found out that one of the mums has never had chicken pox so I sincerely hope that she and her DD didn't catch it. My only consolation there is that I had no idea he had it yet.

So I guess maybe people who are vulnerable have to be more cautious at times when CP is prevalent. Not because anyone's being selfish (although they sometimes can be) but because many mums (like me) will be going about their daily business unaware that their child is actually ill and spreading infection.

YABU I'm afraid.

DS1 got chicken pox when DS2 was 5 weeks and I didn't take either of them out at all (DS2 got it about a week afterwards). It's too much of a risk and you can't tell who is pregnant and who could suffer extremely badly due to medical reasons.

When we were on holiday last month we went to a small zoo where a lady had her daughter out with full on (not scabbed over) spots. I couldn't believe how ridiculous she was being. She obviously knew, as you could see where she had attempted to wipe off the camomile lotion. EXTREMELY selfish and the only reason why I didn't say anything was not to embarrass her DD.

mamdiva Don't have a clues

I didn't actually take my DC to the doctor with chicken pox - or what we assume was chicken pox. It looked right, it developed along standard chicken pox lines and went in the expected timescale. Should we have taken them?

We stayed at home, or at least DD went to my mum because we were working. But children quarantined until last spot scabbed over. People worry. It's the decent thing to do, surely?