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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask here is dd is clever as no other boards are as busy or quick to reply?

94 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 28/09/2010 16:39

I have two dcs, ds is 3 and dd is 21mnths.

Not wanting to sound smug or boasty and so on, just genuinely intreguided really as my eldest was prem and slow to reach milestones, not majorly just a few months out.
Hes always been a typical boy likes his cars, building, painting just what i perceived to be 'normal'?

DD is 21mnths,
she talks in 3-4 word sentences.
seems to understand everything is say, ie, i told dp i felt sick the other day and she came and hugged me and said poorly tummy and rubbed it
has fed herself from cutlery since she was 11mnths old and drank from an open cup around one.

Today she calmly dressed herself, pulled on a vest, then top and then attempted to zip her jacket up, she can do buttons albeit in the wrong holes mostly lol.
She had never tried to do this before she does suddenly did it while i brushed my teeth.

she knows her own routine and tells me its lunch/nap and bedtime.

she doesnt play like most of her peers at toddlers and prefers to 'count' she sayes one twoo tee then just speaks sounds, or do role play dressing up, being mummy, or helping me out, she spent ages the other day weighing pasta.

she just fascinates me how easily she completes tasks i wouldnt imagine a 1yr old need do, is she clever? or does she just have a good memory and mimick what she sees around her? i find myself watching her to see what shell do next.

OP posts:

Dancergirl · 29/09/2010 16:11

God I can't believe the bitchiness on here. Obviously some people just can't bear other people's children being cleverer than their own.

To the OP - she sounds amazing - you have a bright little girl there. My dc certainly didn't do those sort of things at that age.

Enjoy her!

Whitethorn · 29/09/2010 16:15

She sounds adorable and lovely and bright but ..... normal

AmazingBouncingFerret · 29/09/2010 16:27

She sounds lovely especially the rubbing your tummy when you felt ill. My DS did that at a young age too. He cant do buttons though and he's almost 4! Like others have said there is such a varying degree on child development. I dont think you have anything to worry about with either of your children.

SeaTrek · 29/09/2010 16:27

My son certainly couldn't dress himself at that age...he still needs to be nagged now, at six.

He could count and talk like that though, and I considered it to be average. My friend's son would talk in sentences much longer at 18 mths. I remember distinctly my jaw falling in awe when he came out with some whopping long sentence at 18 months. He was also very good with numbers before school, much better than my son.

Now they are both in yr 2 though there is barely anything between them. My son got reading more quickly but now they are approximately the same in that area and their maths is about the same (and I really thought her son was some kind of maths prodigy when he was three!). Both very normal chilren.

I really think there is such a massive range of normal at the pre-school age that is is almost impossible to draw any longterm conclusions about intelligence from it. The exception being if a child displayed understanding/behaviour well in advance of what would be considered normal (which IMO your DD has not from your description). Your DD may well be exceptionally clever but really I don't think you have any evidence, yet.

otchayaniye · 29/09/2010 16:33

Normal I guess. My 22 month old is normal and was speaking 9 months, full sentences at 14 months and now talks in complex grammatical sentences -- pretty much like a 4 year old and knows numbers, letters and uses grillions of words, including ones for emotions.

But she's normal (in fact, she was a bit prem), just a little early with communication. I fully expect she'll even out with her coevals to even out by 5 or 6.

Enjoy

otchayaniye · 29/09/2010 16:36

Oh and she has been able to read a few simple words since about 15 months. Not because she's a genius, but because I've read to her and shown her and she was receptive.

LastOrdersAgain · 29/09/2010 16:41

Ah, Mumsnet at its best here. It must be the bitching hour....

She sounds lovely, OP, my DS couldn't do half of those things at that age.

Enjoy her and feed that brain of hers!

stleger · 29/09/2010 16:55

My ds and dd1 were like that - she seemed to catch up with him in many ways when she was three. He is 20 months older. They are both fairly bright, as is dd2, but not geniuses. I put it down to gender and place in family, but dd2 followed the pattern of ds in many ways. Ds was slow to walk but an expert climber, dd2 was a whizz at jigsaws. It is fascinating to see siblings develop differently.

piscesmoon · 29/09/2010 16:58

I don't think that it is bitching. DCs all do things at their own rate. I was guilty, especially with my first, of wanting to push them on to the next milestone. When you get further down the line and see the full picture you find that it has gone by so quickly! Just enjoy each stage and don't worry about how they compare with siblings or others of the same age. She is a bright little girl, but let her do things at her own rate-don't label her.

winnybella · 29/09/2010 17:36

I love how some people here are bragging by stealth. 'My dc could read by 15 months, but she's not advanced in any way'. Err...yes, she is.

otchayaniye · 29/09/2010 18:04

No, reading (by that I mean recognising a few words) at that age may be unusual, but isn't necessarily a sign of intelligence.

That was my point. Something can seem advanced but you need to look at whole, when they've grown up a bit.

We all have something we are good at and we all can't be good at everything. Children have a vast range of abilities in the very early days and it does tend to even out.

otchayaniye · 29/09/2010 18:07

Don't confuse 'advanced' with 'intelligence' - it's not a straight readacross. That's what I meant.

Litchick · 29/09/2010 18:29

I thibk there is a point here about being advanced and intelligent.

I have twins. One has always been far in advance of the other,brighter, more able to do things and interact, certainly more in needof attention... yet the other is far more intelligent in an academic sense.

firsttimemum77 · 29/09/2010 19:08

Sounds like my dd - sitting up at 4 months, no bottle only beaker from 10 months, walking at 10 months, speaking in sentences at around 20 months etc etc she has just turned 3 and can recognise and write her own name. She has been described by the nursery she attends as bright, advanced and ahead of her peers.

As she is an only child for the moment and my first I wouldn't know what's normal or advanced for her age group and only go by what her nursery carers tell me.

So I would say yes, your dd does sound bright and advanced for her age group.

BitOfFun · 29/09/2010 19:41

I don't think that there have been all that many sarky replies tbh- no more so than normal anyway, and you have to take the rough with the smooth on here: that's why it tends to be busier than other sites, because MN is full of frustrated smart-arses . Which is part of its charm.

She sounds great to me, but I have a child with SN too who can't talk aged ten, or dress herself independently, so it's hard for me to judge. In a way though, I guess it's nice to watch your son learning new things too, albeit at a slower pace, as you must have been so worried about him. I'm sure they're both lovely.

Original poster

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 29/09/2010 20:31

its nicer in a way when ds learns things, dd has never struggled with anything, just does and it happens, ds works and tries hard and earns all his acheivements,

it concerns me and i hope shes just going to level out as she grows up, ds doesnt need the pressure of a clever clogs, although she seems to spur him on atm, hes learnt with her iyswim.

i am used to mn, i know you get the odd harsh remark and so on, i expected it in aibu, but when the help outweights the itching it doesnt bother me. it is still the best parenting forum by far.

OP posts:

PotPourri · 30/09/2010 00:45

She sounds really sweet OP. And quick on the uptake! They do all vary - true. But it's soooo much easier when they pick up the practical things and talking early.

Just nurture her curiosity as best you can, and enjoy watching this mini little person growing!

cory · 30/09/2010 11:12

YOu sound a lovely parent Jj- I can see where she gets her understanding from.

It can be difficult for the less bright child when they grow up- hopefully he will find his own special area where she doesn't go.

dilemma456 · 30/09/2010 13:41

At that age DD could count to 10 in 3 languages, knew her letters and spoke incessantly. However, her manual dexterity skills were very weak. She's no genius now though probably in the top half of her class.

They are all different, just enjoy watching her grow

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