To think if you are worried your toddler will destroy someone's house then you should control them more

[libertybear]

Am arranging to meet up with a friend. She has a toddler, I have small baby. She said better to meet in a park because her toddler destroys people's houses. Fine - am happy to meet in a park. But aibu to think that you should still be able to go to someone else's house with a toddler and just keep them under control - if it looks like they will destroy something then say no, or bring toys for them etc.

Or am I going to eat my words once my baby is boistrous?

YABU toddlers are curious things and in a strange house they will want to touch everything in sight, your friend wont be able to relax

how do you suggest she control her child better? tie them to a chair?

YABU. I think your friend is being very considerate. You just might eat your words.

oh and if only saying 'no' were that easy

What she means is that it is very unrelaxing to be in a friend's house if you are leaping up every two seconds to stop your toddler ripping up books, throwing things on to the floor, etc. You can bring a basket of toys but still find that the one thing your toddler wants to do is sticker biscuits into the DVD player.

YABU

YABU. I would love to say that my DD will always be an angel, however as she goes through her toddler years, I fully expect her to have times when nosiness curiosity gets the better of her and she will be in to everything. I can see myself spending lots of time in the park...

FWIW, some toddlers will always obey the command 'no', some wont even hear it they will be that into whatever they are doing. You should be thankful she did not just let her DC wreck your place!

YABU - My son was a typical toddler, but I was never able to have a conversation with my friend at her house as I was so busy making sure I knew what he was doing and where he was ...

I used to think like this before I had children/when DD was small...I think you will eat your words, I'm afraid!

YABU, he sounds like my DS!

She won't be able to relax or chat with you as she would spend the entire time chasing the child about. So a waste of time meeting up. Trust me it happens to me a lot.

DS isn't particularly naughty, he is just a 22 month old boy that likes new places to explore ie; other peoples homes!

What till your baby turns into a toddler. Is very difficult to chat and control toddler at same time - and your friend is probably trying to prevent introducing fear of toddlerhood into your life. YABU.

Um, meant to say wait till your baby turns into a toddler...

have lots of experience of this..DD is nearly 4 but has developmental delay and has been in the "into everything" stage for at least 2 years

yabu - are you deluded.

toddlers are little learning machines - think about it - the human condition - the human itself, in such a short time becomes a fantastic creature with lots of knowledge

i am agast at language skills alone - language communication - i mean if you think about it its simply incredible.

toddlers learn by doing and touching and feeling, they are programmed that way becuase they have to learn - they have to!

if i had a toddler that didn't do this i would be concerned

yabu I find it pretty stressful to be at someone else's house (unless they have toddlers and are prepared ) with ds (17mo) as he will straight away find the most hazardous/valuable/precious thing in the room... yes you can try and "control" them and I like to think that ds is reasonably well behaved in toddler terms but it is very difficult for young toddlers to understand what can/can't be touched how to be gentle etc and "controlling" them in new surroundings is a full on job so no time to chat. The park sounds a much better idea her toddler can run around letting off steam while you too sit and chat

tbh though I didn't have any idea how toddlers behaved really until ds became one so not surprised you expect better!

YABU, you will eat your words!!!

It's not going to be a very relaxing morning for your friend if she has to jump up and down every 30 seconds to restrain her toddler. And I'm afraid a sticker book is not as interesting as: tipping out the cutlery drawer/swinging off the mantelpiece/climbing onto the kitchen table/diving off the sofa (all things my 2 year old did yesterday and yes, I did restrain him/tell him off, to no avail).

Really, the park is much better option.

she sounds very considerate to me!

toddlers can be 'destructive' without any malice - we have lots of low bookshelves in our lounge, and most visiting 2 year olds instantly head for them and pull out every book (it's why i stopped alphabetising)

This is me

YANBU i agree completelty, but its a pain in the arse visiting other people with a mobile child. Theres no relaxing chat or sipping tea. it feels caotic, stressful, quite homestly i CBA.

Easier to meet at soft play or a park or at mine where i dont mind mess, as i clear it all away each day anyway.

When i see my friends id rather it was relaxed and were able to chat, cant seem to do that at other peoples houses.

I was pretty good at controlling my toddler and not letting other people's houses be ripped to pieces. Only thing was, I could not make conversation at the same time. Or sit down. Or stay in one spot.

So you wouldn't be meeting your friend if she came to your house, you would be watching your friend. If you want to socialise, meet somewhere that is toddler proof.

wow, id only read the op when i posted, so happy with other peoples responses, i just though i was a crap parent with horrible toddlers! very reassuring.

YABU....you will find out!!

Dont think there is any point in adding anything else

All toddlers (even the lovely well-behaved ones) are a nightmare in the house of anyone who does not themselves have a toddler, because they are into everything, all the time. The only way to stop them is to hold onto them the whole time, while they struggle and squeal. Which doesn't make for a fun "coffee & chat".

You'll learn in time - for now, just accept that this is the way it is.