To think if you are worried your toddler will destroy someone's house then you should control them more

[libertybear]

Am arranging to meet up with a friend. She has a toddler, I have small baby. She said better to meet in a park because her toddler destroys people's houses. Fine - am happy to meet in a park. But aibu to think that you should still be able to go to someone else's house with a toddler and just keep them under control - if it looks like they will destroy something then say no, or bring toys for them etc.

Or am I going to eat my words once my baby is boistrous?

Libertybear, you will be able to take them to the grandparents, of course, but you'll be a lot more relaxed if you can persuade them to have a stairgate or any other toddler-grappling equipment you require (I can't manage meals without a highchair for example). Plus when you get to know the terrain it's not too bad because you know what they will go for.

But the houses of new parents are the worst for taking a toddler to. Your world has been turned upside down with the arrival of the baby and the only consolation is you can put everything everywhere and have everything set up handily for adults - nappies and wipes within reach etc. etc.

OP you remind me a little of my SIL who is currently in labour as we speak! She said "Really how tired can you get with a small baby? They sleep for 20 hours a day, you just keep them in a cot beside the bed, feed them and then put them back and go back to sleep yourself!" bless her.

I'd be grateful if I were you!

On the other hand, I do think people should take control of their children. After all, they need to learn how to 'behave' in other people's homes and easier if you start that learning process sooner rather than later. Of course there's a limit as to how much a toddler will take on board, but I hate it when parents can't bring themselves to say no to their children or to tell them to stop doing something.

I can't resist adding to the chorus of yabus. YABU.

"Destroy" was probably a turn of phrase - my DS wouldn't destroy as such but he will create carnage. Hence I don't visit my friends with smaller or less mobile kids as too much stress. Don't even bother going into town for coffee as that way madness lies!

ya definitely BU!

my 3 year old is getting better now, but my 1yr old is taking his place

yes, i can control them. but it means literally hovering over them constantly removing things from them, moving them, saying no.... i mean CONSTANTLY!

they are fine in people;s houses if they are baby-proofed, but so many aren't, esp if their kids are younger.

so.... yes, i can stop my children wrecking poeiple';s houses, but it would be a really shit way for me to spend an afternoon

YABU and just wait. Just you wait

Liberty - my boys go to visit their grandparents lots. I spent 60% of the first 2 hours there telling DS2 no, dont touch, put that back and moving things on to higher ledges/shelves (with doting grandparents telling me not to worry about it) - then handover to the grandparents to be on toddler watch

Save this thread.

Read it again in 2 years time

I don't think you're wrong to question the statement. Right now your friend has decided not to pay house-calls at all but that's really not the only solution - and you can sit in the park in the middle of November! Toddlers can only be destructive if there is stuff to destroy. Controlling them can be awkward but if you ask someone you're going to visit if they wouldn't mind moving things they particularly value well out of reach - that works. People who have had children themselves will probably do it already. We go on a Lego hunt if any tinies are expected, for example.

Well, yes. She could come to your house and spend the whole time trailing round after her toddler keeping said toddler under control. That will be a lot of fun for both of you. Or she can meet you in a park where she doesn't need to do that, and actually interact with you and your baby in some way.

From the fact she's chosen the park option I conclude that she actually likes you, which is nice...

YABU I'm afraid. Enjoy your little immobile baby now is all I can say!

rofl at say no or bring some toys. Toddlers don't want to play with toys when there are other people's breakables about!