to suddenly change what my dd is eating?

[Gelflyng]

My little girl (9), is fat. It hit me quite suddenly, when she went back to school and I saw her amongst her classmates. We have had letters from school, her Dr has gently said stuff to me but I have never 'seen' it before, just thought "oh it is baby fat". But it's not.

I feel dreadful about it. I am a single mum and I was giving her the same amount to eat as I was having (I am overweight though not very - but adult portions are too big for children). This has been going on since she was tiny so she has gotten used to it. She has a big meal at school then a big meal with me.

We always ate reasonably healthily though I did have unhealthy snacks around. But massive portions. I have been trying to cut our portions or have sandwiches/something light (saying that our main meal is lunch now), but she sometimes cries saying she is hungry. She won't snack on the fruit/veg I offer - to be fair our house used to be full of crisps etc so I can understand she is bewildered.

I have managed not to say anything specific about this change, but it is a big and sudden change - does anyone have any suggestions about how I can explain it? I don't want to make it about size and I worry that if I make it about 'health' she will instantly make the connection. Her school has done some very damaging (IMO), work in lessons linking health with fat.

I am disabled so it is difficult to be active with her but I have enrolled her in karate and have a bike from freecycle I will be taking her out on.

Am I trying to do too much in too short a time? Am I being mean? I am probably projecting my own unhappy childhood on her - I was a fat kid and teased about it. I do not want her to lose weight but I do want her to stop gaining so quickly and get used to smaller/lighter meals at home and more activity.

AIBU to be doing this?

But can I add a plea? - don't start automatically opting for low-sugar/no-sugar or low-fat versions of everything. Food stuffs that advertise themselves as being low-fat often have increased the sugar content to compensate. And the sugar-free foods simply contain sweeteners which are evil, evil things. Far better to stick to foods made with natural ingredients and to simply eat the treats in moderation.

the trouble with the sugar free stuff is it's full of crap. Better to not eat it,how about a nice juicy mango instead.You both need to re-educate your taste buds.

Have to say frylight also sounds vile-please please do not go the path of exchanging too much food for poor quality crap, e.g. go for olive oil.Do you & your daughters body a favour.

Fruit & veg are not boring...grrr !! this is what is wrong - there are so many better choices to be made. e.g.fresh pineapple,a £1 at ASDA,fresh kiwi's ,blueberries,mango,even simple old english apples & picked blackberries, a blob organic greek yogurt, now you're talking !