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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that schools shouldn't just be filling DD's head with God

131 replies

choufleur · 21/09/2010 18:11

Ok he's only 4 and only in 3rd week in reception but he's come home talking about how God made the world and we're in His hands, and he's just thanked God for his tea.

I don't believe in God. Up til now I've tried to explain to DS that some people believe in God, some people believe in other Gods and actually creationism is not real we evolved.

Tell me they will also teach him about other beliefs please.

OP posts:

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 21/09/2010 22:07

Hang on a gosh-darn second.

I've been berated on faith school threads for daring to suggest that a faith school might just possibly teach that their faith is the only true one. How ridiculous, the faith school apologists said, of course they will be fair and teach about other religions.

Then someone says that exactly that is happening, and we get 300 replies saying, 'what did you expect from a faith school you idiot'?

So is that what we ought to expect from a faith school, or not?

Ingles2 · 21/09/2010 22:10

For crying out loud, have all you posters saying you shouldn't have sent your child to a CogE school then, got any understanding at all of living in a rural area?
Just think for a minute would you!,
We live in the country!
There are no other schools!
Honestly!, can you not imagine it? or are you just not reading the thread?
Choufleur...this has driven me mad for years..I've really struggled with the religious aspect and of course the church features very heavily in a small rural community generally.
Now my dc are older they understand some believe and some don't...and thankfully agree with me.
You just have to spout the other side of the story every time they say, teacher says...

Original poster

choufleur · 21/09/2010 22:10

I do obviously realise that they don't just sit doing RE all day. I meant learn about other stuff in the context of other religions/beliefs.

OP posts:

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/09/2010 22:11

Choufleur - you say that you 'don't feel that strongly about it' but 'want it to be balanced' - but as I tried to point out earlier, your ds has been at the school less than three weeks - that is not enough time to judge whether or not they are teaching in a balanced way.

Do you honestly think the school should have taught your ds about Islam and Hinduism as well as the bits of Christianity he's picked up (which, as I pointed out earlier probably come from parts of the school day outwith lessons - ie grace before lunch and hymns at assembly)? As well as settling in a whole new reception class, getting to know them and what their abilities are, showing them where the loos are, how to get their lunches, what you do in assembly, where things are kept in the classroom - all things which they probably have a more immediate need to know.

For heaven's sake, be a bit realistic.

Ingles2 · 21/09/2010 22:17

yes they will choufleur, they will get a bit of other religions.. don't worry, it will calm down, it's just that the christian stuff is new and constant...they'll switch of in a year

electra · 21/09/2010 22:18

Mrs mellow - that is NOT what I meant. I am talking about C of E schools. NOT 'religious people' and I am talking of my experience of those schools.

If others disagree, fine.

MrsMellowdrummer · 21/09/2010 22:36

Sorry electra, I just think it's a bit of a non-argument.

I don't want to sit here and spout about all the harmful things that have been done in past and recent history in the name of religion (including at religious schools). And it also seems pretty nonsensical to point out that actually non religious people tend to live by a moral code too. Schools are run by PEOPLE. Granted around here they are mostly religious people. And we don't have much to compare it to, so perhaps you are right after all.

electra · 21/09/2010 22:42

I am not making an argument - I am giving my individual perspective on C of E schools.

Takver · 21/09/2010 22:44

DavidTennantsGirl, presumably Christian prayers 3 times a day is 'balanced' by the occasional mention of other religions in class time (in this case NOT in a 'church' school, just a regular 'community' state school).

Actually, I should say that on a day to day basis it doesn't bother me personally that much (certainly compared to other crap things that go on, as I've mentioned above). But I certainly don't think people are out of order for feeling strongly about it.

electra · 21/09/2010 22:45

The harmful things 'done in the name of religion' do not by themselves provide an argument that having faith is a waste of time - they just mean that people have been misguided in their pursuit of their faith. I am not necessarily religious btw.

Rockbird · 21/09/2010 22:49

I do obviously realise that they don't just sit doing RE all day. I meant learn about other stuff in the context of other religions/beliefs.

He's 4 and been in reception for 3 whole weeks. Give them a chance, you can't expect them to have covered all the world faiths by half term, surely.

thederkinsdame · 21/09/2010 22:50

If you value convenience of the C of E school, then you can't really complain that they are teaching Christianity, can you? Surely you must have realised that they would mainly focus on Christian learning? I am sure that they will talk about other religions (it is only a couple of weeks into term after all) but you can't really moan about it if you chose to send him there. If you felt that strongly then I'm sure you would have sent him elsewhere.

piscesmoon · 21/09/2010 22:57

It is unfortunate if people live in rural areas with no choice but that is no reason why they should change! It is a C of E school so you take it or leave it not expect them to suit you. It is a bit like saying 'I live in a small place and they only have Tesco and I want Waitrose'-if you want a larger choice you have to move to a place that allows it.
DCs will make up their own minds in due course. They might as well have all the information. There is no reason why they should be think the same as the school, in the same way that there is no reason why they should think the same as you. Lots of atheists have DCs with religious beliefs and lots of Christians have non Christian DCs -does it matter?! I have really don't think that Cof E schools fill the churches for the future! Of course it is all exciting for a 4 yr old if it is a new view that he hasn't come across-it will soon wear off.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/09/2010 23:08

Rockbird - that's exactly what I was trying to say.

Iwantscallops · 21/09/2010 23:10

Don't understand the problem. Are you worried he won't share your atheist views in future? He will grow up and make up his own mind taking into account your views and those of the school.

If you feel strongly about it, why not get together with other atheist mums and arrange transport to a non-faith school.

thespindoctor · 21/09/2010 23:14

not this one again...

You can't expect a church school not to teach this kind of thing. Sorry but what did you expect? Many rural communities have a small local (often church run) school, and as Ingles said "of course the church features very heavily in a small rural community"

Well quite, so if you're rejecting a commonly held ethos of the community in which you live, then why live there? I used to live in a small village and a lot of social activities centred around the church, but we moved when we had children, mostly for the additional facilities that come with living in a town, but schooling was a consideration. If you choose to live in these areas then you have to accept it as the way it is or find a place to live where you feel more comfortable.

ChippingIn · 21/09/2010 23:16

They will teach them that 'other people' celebrate 'other religious events' and a little about other beliefs - but in the same way they teach about pirates or dragons, not in the way they are teaching him about God/Christianity.

They do come out with some interesting 'facts' my friends little boy has just started reception as well and he said to his 6 year old sister 'Don't hit me, God wont like it!' Who knows what they've been teaching them already - I'd have thought learning to recognise his name would have been more useful

When I was little I went to the same school - I loved the Bible stories and went to a Bible class on Wednesday lunchtimes - I even asked for a small bible for my 7th Birthday - but don't worry, I was over it by the time I turned 9!!

When they come out with stuff I just say 'Oh really' in much the same way as I would if they tell me Barbie/Spiderman/Santa likes x or the dog has just asked for ice-cream!

piscesmoon · 21/09/2010 23:18

All you can say about a 4 yr old DC is that he is a DC of atheists, a DC of Christians,a DC of Muslims etc. There is no saying what he will decide for himself when he is older. I am a Christian and my DCs have rejected it-we still have the same relationship-the sky has not fallen in!! Why should I mind? Why should I coerce? They are free agents-not blank sheets of paper to think what Mum tells them to think. Have more faith in your DC. The important thing is that he should be his own person with his own thoughts and not influenced by others.

UnquietDad · 21/09/2010 23:19

choufleur - I agree with you as will thousands of others. Sadly, the godders will be out in force to moan that they are being oppressed, or something, and just won't get it as usual. You only need look at the "Aggressive Atheism" thread to see the kind of guff they start flinging around.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/09/2010 23:28

I think that is not justified on this thread, UnquietDad. No-one has mentioned oppression until you did. Nor has any guff been flung around.

The majority of this thread has been common sense, in my opinion - telling the OP that it is unreasonable to expect no Christianity at a C of E school, and it is equally unreasonable to expect them to have covered all the major world religions within the poor lad's first three weeks at school!

piscesmoon · 21/09/2010 23:34

There is only one point- it is a C of E school -so you take it or leave it-in the same way that if the shop is a Spar shop you take it or leave it-if there is one pub you can go in or not go in. You have to accept that villages have limited choice in everything. You weigh up the advantages and put up with the shortcomings, or you move to a town where you have the choice.

MrsMellowdrummer · 22/09/2010 00:39

Hang on though. CofE schools are entirely state funded. And we pay for that with our taxes. I would like to be able to access a non church run school for my children, without having to drive them half way across the country, as I'm sure would a large percentage of the population who pay those taxes too. [pipe-dream]

Appletrees · 22/09/2010 00:53

They're state funded, but they often do better than non church schools because of the parental non-financial input, and people are often desperate to get their children into them.

Far worse than the churchy thing is the failure to educate children thing. I think many people would drive their children quite long distances to get their child into a non failing to educate school.

thespindoctor · 22/09/2010 01:09

Agree Appletrees. Getting your children a good education is the most important thing.

Thruaglassdarkly · 22/09/2010 02:12

Don't worry. You did send him to a church school and the whole belief in God thing kinda goes with the territory. He'll soon become innoculated to all of this anyway once the curriculum kicks in higher up the school, say by secondary school at the latest. It's predominantly atheist then.

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