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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that schools shouldn't just be filling DD's head with God

131 replies

choufleur · 21/09/2010 18:11

Ok he's only 4 and only in 3rd week in reception but he's come home talking about how God made the world and we're in His hands, and he's just thanked God for his tea.

I don't believe in God. Up til now I've tried to explain to DS that some people believe in God, some people believe in other Gods and actually creationism is not real we evolved.

Tell me they will also teach him about other beliefs please.

OP posts:
MrsMellowdrummer · 21/09/2010 19:32

The thing is, very young children have a habit of assuming that everything their teachers tell them is "true". Fair enough, that's what 4 year olds' brains are programmed to do. So when my 4 year old came home telling me all about God and Jesus after his first week of school, and I listened carefully, then said to him - "well that's what some people believe. Daddy and I don't believe that God is real, actually"... we had utter melt-down, and "But teachers don't LIE Mummy!".

I'm very very happy for my children to learn about each and every culture that presents itself to them. I'm very very happy for them to make their own choices in life regarding religious belief. I'm not so happy about the adults they put their utter faith in at this young impressionable age, presenting religious belief as fact. Fine when they are a little older, and able to balance those views against their wider experience, but not aged 4. I don't think that the hold the church has over the educational system in this country is acceptable in any way shape or form.

thisisyesterday · 21/09/2010 19:35

bnut if you feel that strongly surely you send them to a non-denominational school?

ds1 LOVES all the god/jesus stuff. he is always praying for people. that's fine, he is a person in his own right and he can choose what he "believes"

at 5 years old i don't think he really, truly believes anyrthing relaly. so it's fine. as he gets older i am sure he will question things. we tell him how we view the worlkd, and if he questions what the school tells him we'll give him our opinion./

i mean, you either feel strongly enough to move schools.
or, you aren't that bothered, in which case you can just go along with telling the kid what you think

doesn't relaly matter does it?

MrsMellowdrummer · 21/09/2010 19:35

What I was trying to say, but failed I think - is that for me it's not so much about the religion as such - but about the confusion a young child faces when somebody in that position of trust teaches them something as FACT, which is counter to views held by parents/family/the community in general. It teaches them that one party is right, and one party wrong. One telling the truth, one lying. An average 4 year old does not have the ability to process the fact that different people have different beliefs necessarily.

MrsMellowdrummer · 21/09/2010 19:36

Where do you find these non-denominational schools thisisyesterday? (genuine question!)

We did move our son to an independent school. But we pay for it.

Original poster
choufleur · 21/09/2010 19:40

As I've said. i'm not bothered enough to drive miles every morning and afternoon to take DS to a non-religious school, as I think it's more important for him to have friends nearby.

It's more an issue of, as MrsMellowdrummer put it, teachers (who are to be believed) presenting God watching over us as fact. I don't really want to contradict his teacher as I feel it will undermine her work in other areas.

OP posts:
Anenome · 21/09/2010 19:41

There are a number of non-denominational schools in out city...they're just there.

Original poster
choufleur · 21/09/2010 19:42

But if you live in a rural area Anenome there tend to be far less.

OP posts:
MrsMellowdrummer · 21/09/2010 19:44

Well there are none in a 10 mile radius of our house anenome.

I haven't investigated further afield, but would be surprised to find one within 30 miles. And although we're in rural Hampshire, that's not exactly the back of beyond.

messylittlemonkey · 21/09/2010 19:45

YABU

It's a CofE school. The clue's in the name.

mamatomany · 21/09/2010 19:45

A friend of ours is very religious and can't get into her church school because it's full of people who want all the benefits of attending a c of e school but don't actually believe in any of the values the school supports.
I blame osted, the next school on the league table is a non religious one but has spaces because it's not perceived as being as good. It is.

omnishambles · 21/09/2010 19:47

I wonder why it is only us atheists that have a practical problem with it - my ds's school has a christian ethos which I challenge at home by doing the 'some believe that speech'.

Yet his class is 3/4 full of muslim and hindu families who couldnt care less that the swchool is Christian - they just care about the results. They obviously feel that their home faith is strong enough to withstand a bit of prayer and nativity.

Is it that atheists fear that a lack of religion creates an easily filled vacuum or is it just the choice thing - if other religions have actively chosen a Christian school then they are prepared for it and counter it at home.

Takver · 21/09/2010 20:33

omnishambles, I know when I went to secondary school religion was an issue for some Sikh families (not a CofE school, and in practice about as unreligious as you get) but like everyone else, they don't have much option.

Also worth noting that Islam is a lot closer to Christianity than atheism is to either, of course.

poppydog10 · 21/09/2010 20:37

YANBU
I work in a church school and I don't agree with it. I wouldn't want to send my dd there.

omnishambles · 21/09/2010 20:41

Yes takver - thats true, and ds' school tends to talk a lot about God rather than Jesus.

The Muslim/Hindu parents do get very agitated about the vegetarian menu though (and fair play - it was rubbish until it was changed) but arent bothered about the religion at all.

It is interesting though at which point a school like that will just say 'stuff it, we're clearly not a Christian-ethos school anymore'

shinyrobot · 21/09/2010 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EgyptVanGogh · 21/09/2010 21:14

Sorry, but you chose to send your kid to a religious school, yet you complain he is being indoctrinated.

Either take responsibility for his secular education, or accept the consequences of your choice and prepare to counter any ideas you don't agree with.

EgyptVanGogh · 21/09/2010 21:15

'I don't really want to contradict his teacher as I feel it will undermine her work in other areas.'

Um, no. It will teach your son the very important lesson that not everybody you respect agrees with you about everything.

piscesmoon · 21/09/2010 21:39

If he goes to a Cof E school then you can't expect anything else!

brassband · 21/09/2010 21:43

'I just want to know that he'll learn other stuff too.'

No it's a well known fact that primary school's teach nothing at all except RE all day every day.

electra · 21/09/2010 21:45

Although I think yabu, at the same time I think it's a bit unfair you don't easily have the choice of a non-religious school for your son to go to. But C of E schools do definitely promote a very religious structure and it's unreasonable to expect them not to really. One upside is that schools like this usually promote a caring ethos of treating each other with kindness and respect which is of course a good thing. I am not saying that other schools don't, but it does seem to come with the territory ime.

MrsMellowdrummer · 21/09/2010 21:50

Yes, because religious people are all kind and lovely, whereas us heathen types are SCARY!

It's all about the subtext.

FlyingInTheCLouds · 21/09/2010 21:50

Yab abit u because it is a CoE school

I am truely annoyed at DS1s nursery teacher at school who is doing the same thing( at a state school.)

I just keep telling him that lots of people believe lots of differnent things but that I don;t believe that god exists.

I have told him about evolution in a very basic way (again and again as he is fasinated by it.

Whitethorn · 21/09/2010 21:51

YABU to expect the CofE school not to mention God.
You sent your child to a religious school so what do you expect. There should be choice but one cant expect lots of choice in rural settings. I guess its a case of weighing up the travel to school hassle against the moral objections to God stuff.

piscesmoon · 21/09/2010 21:53

He will learn about other faiths in RE but as 'what others believe'-but the ethos will be Christian of a C of E nature. If he went to a Catholic school it would be of a Catholic nature-etc.

Iggi999 · 21/09/2010 22:00

I would be very surprised if CofE school taught creationism! Seeing as majority of Christian churches in UK don't believe in it.