My ds has what people often call mongolian eyes/ double eyelid- the epicanthic fold. We're Russian/ Ukrainian (and white). I know they're unusual here on white babies it's quite common for them to crop up in 'white' families in the East, not surprising considering our history/ proximity to Mongolia!
Anyways, a mum leaning over the buggy today said;
'oh they're beautiful those mixed babies'
I thanked her for the compliment, they stated we don't consider him mixed, all relatives we know and way back are from a very small area! Smiled as I said it.
Now that bits fine, I can see the confusion, despite him being blue-eyed and fair. No offense taken, the next bit blew me away..
'oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise there was something wrong with him' (!)
I asked her what she meant (in a bit of a warning tone) and she said 'well it's a sign something's wrong isn't it ('innit' actually)? Like Down's or the alcohol thingy...but he looks so alert considering'
Now even if there was something up it's a damn rude way to bring it up in front of others in a pitying tone!!! I called her fucking ignorant at this point, braying about ds like that while half the cafe tried to clock a look at him.
My other friends think I over-reacted and should have just explained it out to her, but I was REALLY angry at how she approached it. Fine if she'd said 'oh that's unusual' or 'do you know why he has eyes like that?'. Now it's like I've made the mum meets awkward, when I feel she did. It was NOT a nice tone she used at all, surely if you think a child has SN you don't stare at them and point it out loudly?