to have thought, no, muttered 'mumsnet!' at DH in a public place?

[JaneS]

DH and I went out for dinner. I put my card down to pay - which, since I've not got round to changing it, reads 'Miss Girlsname LittleRedDragon'.

The waiter handed the pay machine to DH, so I said, 'It's got my name on it'. Which may have been a bit snippy but I think I said it nicely. To which the waiter:

"Sorry, it's a reflex."

A reflex to hand the card to the bloke? Or does he always pass to the right, like with port? I was very nice and tipped him anyway but muttered darkly under my breath about what a certain group of women would think ...

I do that too.

Not hand card machines to men think "what would mumsnet say" about stuff.

I agree it's insulting...but then...when I worked in a restaurant for a year, if you were serving a couple, 99% of the time the man did pay, so it's an easy assumption to make, albeit patronising on many levels.

DH got an X Box at the weekend, I paid, assistant asked whose name the guarantee needed to be in .

I wish my DH would pay for everything. Maybe if we only go to places where he is handed the card by default, he will be shamed into it, leaving me more money for shoes wine savings.

at Hecate and Sugar. I don't think I've done it quite so obviously before! DH reckons I was mouthing 'AIBU' as I worked out the tip.

star, really? I am naive I guess, but that sounds very high to me. Are you sure they didn't just take the machine and put in their partner's card? We sometimes do that if we're in a hurry, though I guess we shouldn't.

Seren - sadly, if DH had been paying, we'd have been down the chippy.

Not that I dislike chips. Mmmm, chips ...

I often think "What a twunt "[word learnt from mumsnet] and then start composing a thread about it

When DH and I go out to eat, I often have something stodgy like Beef and Ale Pie (yum!), whereas DH will usually have a chicken salad.

EVERY time, not matter where we are eating, the waiters give me the salad and DH the pie.

So I then have to pipe up that the salad is DH's, and then have them look me up and down, think 'fat cow', give DH a look of pity, and then swap the plates around.

That's a bit crap undercover, I thought they were meant to remember who ordered what? I was meant to when I was doing Pizza Express and that's not exactly the Ritz.

I'm glad it's not just me who's a lot bit sad, btw!

I don't think they'd put in their partner's card (this was in the days when you'd still sign for a card) but there could be other reasons - perhaps it was the sort of restaurant you'd take a date to (I'd bet it's still more usual for the man to pay on an early date). We used to be careful to place the bill in the middle of table so as not to assume the man was going to pay but still, the vast majority of the time, he would.

DH and I have always had a joint account so it really doesn't matter whose card we use - just depends who picks up the bill first.

I think they are meant to remember LRD! I think however that they just see salad, and by default place it by the woman! Ironically DH often has a salad cos he likes to have room for a big starter and huge dessert!!!

I mentally think 'MN' all the time. And I pen 'virtual' OPs in my head whilst I'm driving, shopping, working etc etc

I think the waiter wasn't being too bad - at least he apologised rather than saying something "cute" about modern women and lucky husbands.

True, Dilys. He was very sweet in general - it just annoyed me a bit that he said it was a reflex as if I was asking him to do something strange and unexpected ... but ah well.

undercova - now, my DH would do that if he had the discipline! Actually he just goes for starter and a big main then gets me to share a dessert with him - which is why we are both more generously proportioned than before we met.

star - I do like it when they put the bill in the middle, it feels nicer. But that's just me, I guess.

I'm forever composing Mumsneat threads in my head!

Funilly enough, when we went to TGI's at the weekend, the waiter tried to give me the bill and I had to point out it was DH's card. Not that it matters as it's a joint account and I know his PIN but thats not the point. We were out to lunch with my brother, DS and DD so I there were 2 men to choose from and he still tried to hand me the machine.

what a sexist nobcheese the waiter was.

but yesi do that too. I have actually said to dp "can't wait to tell mumsnet about this" whilst hoiking my boobs up and clutchng my handbag to said bossom

Damn, if I were a proper MNer I'd have hoicked my boobs! I knew there was something missing!

so long as you did the cats bum face you will be ok

Ah, good. There was cats-bumming aplenty, I promise.

I often do think cat's bum mouth.

Which is the same as thinking 'Mumsnet' is it not?

Indeed so. I think the worst one is when you catch yourself talking about 'my dee-pee' and then realize the person you're talking to is looking at you as if you've turned blue. Not good.

I've started doing this face with alarming frequency lately. Not good is it?

I am a MN coomposer of thread in my head too.

DH often orders fish or salad while I go for the beef steak. I always get the fish. Bloody annoying.

^Dilys* I had something similar. DH put the suit he wanted on the counter and then the woman started taking more clothes out of the bag, saw they were ladies and said "good to see you are being treated as well." I told her I was treating him. She then annoyed me by trying to make me get a store credit card. How many times do you need to say you don't want one for them to get the message?