to have thought, no, muttered 'mumsnet!' at DH in a public place?

[JaneS]

DH and I went out for dinner. I put my card down to pay - which, since I've not got round to changing it, reads 'Miss Girlsname LittleRedDragon'.

The waiter handed the pay machine to DH, so I said, 'It's got my name on it'. Which may have been a bit snippy but I think I said it nicely. To which the waiter:

"Sorry, it's a reflex."

A reflex to hand the card to the bloke? Or does he always pass to the right, like with port? I was very nice and tipped him anyway but muttered darkly under my breath about what a certain group of women would think ...

I see that face in my mind at times, lazarusb! Actually, the worst thing is how wrong-footed I feel writing normal emails and not having that emotion.

Yep, getting a life shortly, I promise.

I have actually been dreaming mn threads for the past 2 nights. Now that really is taking it too far I think

Excellent thread, do you reckon we should get car stickers made or some of those bracelet things with WWMNS? What would Mumsnet say?

Have to say am really really enjoying using Custardo's term of 'knobber' whenever I can atm

UCM I like your DHs thinking that salad = huge desert. Must remember that

Thanks Bibi .

I quite like the covertness - every now and then I see someone I think might be a MNer and I enjoy trying to work out if she is or not.

But then, as we have established, I am very, very sad.

giraffes - salad + huge desert: fact. Well known. Moreover, if he has salad, you must help him with desert. Deserts are shared, but whoever ordered it gets the calories. Also fact.

I'm vegetarian so haven't got a clue but is it fashionable at the moment for women to admit to only "eating a bit of chicken and fish" (i.e. no real man's meat). Seems to happen too often to be coincidence

Ha! I thought "what would Mumsnet say" the other day (well, the Feminism section specifically).

There was an article in the paper about how 40% (or 60%, can't remember) of mothers don't feed their children a home cooked meal.

Absolutely no mention of fathers. Grrr.

Well, for waiters/waitresses remembering who ordered what, generally you're expected to remember/know if it's a fancy restaurant and there were tons of instructions on how to indicate it on the order) whereas less fancy ones you don't generally. Waaaaaaaay back in the day when I was a waitress, I could guess, with a high degree of accuracy, who had ordered what (but would still ask, not assume).

Ooh, mini, I do that! I really like it actually - before I came on here I would have been sort of mentally chalking it up as a crap stereotype, but now I have someone to grumble to!

Abs - also, if they're doing fast service, you're meant to remember. I waitressed in Pizza Express for a bit, and they pointed out that the time it takes you to ask who's eating what in an order, is time wasted, so you should remember it. You really got ticked off if you didn't (but the tips were good so I didn't mind too much!).

the other day DH was annoying me by dry humping me ( a whole different story, lol) and i said to him " i'm going to start a thread on mumsnet about you asking "why do men think that dry humping you is going to make you want sex" or something like that. He keeps asking if i've done it yet. I have to say though that if we are out and about DH will sometimes say "you should start a thread on mumsnet about that"

Is your husband a labrador, vn?

I was going to start a thread asking if other people went abot their lives phrasing things for AIBU. My life is narrated in my head along the lines of:

AIBU to be pissed off that ds dribbled pee on the floor by the toilet.

AIBU to expect parents to be able to park within the lines in the school carpark.

AIBU to want all the roads to be cleared of other people when I'm in a hurry.

AIBU to expect ds to shut up for 5 mins occasionally.

AIBU to want to shove the neighbour's bastard cockerel up the neighbour's backside if it doesn't shut up soon.

And so it goes on....

at puddle.

Do you find yourself sounding it out? I end up mentally asking myself if I'm 'buh-uh' in my head and really hoping that that's not an acronym that'll slip out in public.

Labrador Husband......

Bastard Cockrel....

Stop everyone, I sit in a corner all by myself at work and keep hooting like a demented owl every half hour or so when I sneak back on here......

Cockerel even

We have the menagerie. It's like MN pet top trumps:

Labrador Husband
Bastard Cockerel
Demented Owl.

Where's ChickensHaveNoEyebrows when you need her?

reddragon i do sometimes wonder about my DH . I'd forgot about the catsbum face, it always makes me chuckle

Lol at the OP - that happens all the time.

I went for a curry last night, I ordered for both me and DP. The waiter managed to listen to me and write the order down all while looking at DP.

When he came over to ask if our curry was OK he just looked at DP. Had to resist a great urge to go 'heLLOOOOOOO' and wave my hand in his direction.

It was like I didn't exist. And it was my turn to pay as well.

I also hate it when order a bottle of wine thety always ask DP if he wants to taste it, and not me, even though I am the one who has chosen the bottle and ordered it.

I used to date a man who didn't drink - they still always gave him wine to taste. Interestingly, if I ordered a glass of white, I'd get it. If it was a pint or red, he'd get it.

Something I like about my current DH is that he knows I hate having chairs pulled out for me (dunno why), so if the waiter does that he always steps into the chair and lets me go the other side. They must all be thinking, 'poor woman, her husband has no manners!'

That post has just made me roar - that is what the waiter did last night, he pulled the chair out for me to sit on. I also hate that, so I skipped over to the other side of the table and DP had to sit on teh chair. Waiter gave me a funny lok and DP glowered at me.

Look, pal, I have the upper body strength to pull out my own bloody chair, and also have the brain power to order my own food.

I would have been really crap in the Victorian days

It's so annoying, isn't it!

Actually, I know it's just because I am clumsy as heck and worry I'd plonk the chairleg down on the waiter's foot ... but they don't know that.

I do feel a bit sorry for them when they've been expecting to push a chair containing a 5'4 woman in towards the table, and end up with a solid 16 stone bloke there!

:o LRD.

I hate having chairs pulled out for me as well, unless I'm bearing a gigantic platter containing a whole boar or something, which is reasonably unlikely. It's not only the having to pretend to be grateful for the "favour" you didn't need, it's the awkward moment where you have to grind along the floor/hover above the seat while the waiter attempts to guess how far in to push you without a) leaving you miles from the table or b) crushing your thighs to a mush.

LRD, I do exactly that...not always in my head though. Dh has decided he's been widowed through MN as I constantly have my face in the computer. When I laugh he asks why and I say, "oh nothing really, just someone buh very uhh on MN". Most of my conversations with dh start with "on MN....." or if friends and I are discussing something I always argue my point with, "well, on MN so-and-so said.....so I must be right" . I have also started referring to dh as dh when I'm talking about him to other people and I get sooo cross on facebook when I can't do this or this or .

LRD ,here is mine,when i went to the bank to open an account,the guy asked my DH IF HE WANTED TO HAVE ACCESS TO MY ACCOUNT,without asking ME if i wanted my hubby to have any access,DH turned to me and smiled(bless him),then told the man that he would me married longer if he asked me that question first,

to which the guy asked him an even more ridiculous question,'is she your daughter?lol,i laughed,DH was not pleased,he was 36 and i was 28,,and we are not of the same race (grin)

at Blessed.

Mind you, once my then-DP and I went to a poncy restaurant where I ordered the big steak. The waiter turned to DP and said (I kid you not), 'Are you sure she wants that - it is very big?'.

He had already played the 'I can't listen to the woman ordering, I will ask the man what she wants' game.

Needless to say, we did not tip. Sadly, this was in my pre-MN days so no AIBU. Deprivation, I tells you!