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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider a Catholic Baptism for my baby?

113 replies

mothermary · 18/09/2010 21:28

Dh and I were brought up as Catholics.

We have not been to church for years, did not get married in the church. We both received what I would terms a good education.

I was wondering about baptising my baby as it would suit grandparents and because I understand that it could help with getting into a good school in the UK.

Would it mean that when it comes to school we would have to show some attendance record at church?

Are the Catholic Schools in the UK generally good ones?

My DH thinks we should not do this because of the fact they do not allow women priests, the extremely poor attitude towards women, the sex abuse scandal as well as the attitude towards homosexuality.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:07

boring is paranoic troll patrol

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:07

it' not paranoic, obvious. Like I said way down, struck me straight off but who cares if a troll anyway.

I don't really care, still answered it didn't I?

scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:08

yes who cares?speculating troll is lame

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:09

i disagree obviously

scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:10

just because you no likey post or premise doesnt=troll

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:11

I no havey problem with post

I likey alright

I findey not ringing true

gremlins · 18/09/2010 23:11

One thing struck me - you'd at least understand why the Catholic Church held their opinion on birth control if you attended mass for years on end.

You don't have to agree with it but it's got nothing to do with sexism.

You said you want opinions from a spiritual pov but quite clearly it's for school purposes. Depending on your area it may be easy to get into a faith school without making a mockery of the Church, as they do have a quota of none/different faith children to intake.

From a spiritual perspective you were raised Catholic but are unsure as to religion as a whole nowadays. That sums up what you should do, don't baptise a child for the 'benefits' do it for the religion.

scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:11

well,indeed that is your problem.not a global issue

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:12

also your problem if you don't like muine really, don't see the big difference

Original poster
mothermary · 18/09/2010 23:13

Thanks ScottishMummy. I think I have upset some posters on here, with my poor timing but I am sure there are some stealth Catholics out there for the sake of education, and the link shows it to be the case.

Still, I am interested in the opinion out there.

The Grandparents really want the baby to be christened.
I can not be the only lapsed Catholic with such thoughts?

As an aside, surely there are Catholics out there that see the position of the church and women as troubling.

I mean if I was stealth about it - and just went ahead and did the God thing then no one would be the wiser.

Also with the Catholic church in crisis they probably welcome increased numbers of Catholics. I can see how they can pick and choose in the case of schools but I do wonder if they do have to pick some students outside their religion.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:15

individual prefernce isnt my contention.assumption troll,is.overall is interesting topic,no one harmed,deceived.

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:16

didn't upset me for instance if that is what you meant.

Why not just call the school and ask if they take a certain number of non-Catholics and if so, what their criteria is, then you know where you are?

If they don't take non-Catholics because they can fill their role with Catholics and aren't obliged to take non-Catholics, then I suppose you'd have to think about the baptism/church attendance route and if it is for you

But it is kind of obvious to me, so ok if you say you're genuine, why not just investigate it - investigate the schools, investigate your other options, investigate the parish church. Isit for you or not?

Original poster
mothermary · 18/09/2010 23:16

ZZenagain if you are going to call troll because you can tell from my posts that I am not a woman and was not brought up to be a Catholic then you should put forth your evidence really. I presume you think that one of my posts outed me?

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:19

and if you ask are they generally good, it varies. They are also not all equally, hmm dunno how to put it, religious in feel so some are more a light version of it which might be more your kind of thing, if at all.

But once again all you can do, as with all schools in the UK, is go and have a look around

Original poster
mothermary · 18/09/2010 23:20

ZZenagain I was going to have a chat at my local parish and see but you know what I thought I would post on MN.

gremlins I beg to differ. I do think the position on birth control has been detrimental to women - but that is just my own experience of large Catholic families where women have had a tremendous amount of children. Again, this is a personal experience, and I am not from the UK, and I realise that in the UK Catholics do use Birth Control more commonly now.

OP posts:
SassySusan · 18/09/2010 23:21

I think it is insulting to people who really are genuinely involved in the Catholic Church - the ones who provide the emotional energy and funds that produce the infrastructure of a building/priest for you to mislead.

I have no problem with people choosing not to baptise their children, but baptising your child for non-genuine reasons is rather vile.

TBH, I think the most common reason is that people rather like the party (Christening, cake, gifts) It leave a bad taste in the mouth.

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:24

no, didn't feel a post "outed" you but it is an anonymous forum, anyone can post anything, claiming to be anyone. How can you know? most of the time you just take people for what they say they are and sometimes it just doesn't ring true (fairly or not). Here to me it didn't and atm in the context of the papal visit and asking people who have baptised their dc in order to get into Catholic schools although they don't believe in the religion to come and say struck me as strange. Everyone gains an impression of the people posting on the threads they read.

Sorry if I offended you in your genuine query.

You're formed an impression of me in a way too and decided whether you think I'm telling the truth in some way I guess. I could be a 50 year old mechanic from China, how would you know if I claim to be a grandmother from Nottingham with 6 grandsons and living in a caravan?

Original poster
mothermary · 18/09/2010 23:28

SassySusan I agree. You see this discussion started with me saying that I was considering baptism. I understand that I would have to take a great deal on board and to re-consider my faith or not, but I also consider myself to be a feminist. I would also have to take into account my DH's perspective.

However, if I did organise a baptism, either by stealth or by getting involved fully then as ScottishMummy said I would not be the only aspirational parent to have rejuvenated religious participation linked to a school.

I am also sure a great deal of people get children baptised for reasons such as family tradition, to please the family - and I would not say that those are non-genuine.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:28

thats the rub.online no one has corroboation or owt.the words on the screen are the interaction

Original poster
mothermary · 18/09/2010 23:38

ZZZenAgain - yes you did offend me in my genuine query.

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:38

maybe you'd be more comfortable with the more liberal wing of the COE - and a COE school

Not sure how it wouldgo down with the grandparents though

scottishmummy · 18/09/2010 23:39

op is catholic by upbringing why would she be more suited go coe?

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:40

importance she places on women priests, women in the hierarchy etc, already realised in the COE to some degree

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:40

something else too ,forget whast

ZZZenAgain · 18/09/2010 23:41

approach to homosexuality

option of a "good education" so presume looking at something outside regular state school in the area, maybe COE would suit