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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make people take their shoes off?

102 replies

suecy · 18/09/2010 20:13

Moving into a brand spanking new house in a few weeks, loads of wooden flooring and pale carpets.

Want to have a housewarming for family and friends - c60 poeple. Is it really rude on the invite to say guests will be expected to take their shoes off, no matter what they are? Just don't want any damage to the floors.

Does it make me sound unreasonable? The alternative is not to have the party!

OP posts:
NotAnotherBrick · 18/09/2010 20:14

Yes, I bloody hate it when people ask me to take my shoes off when I come in.

Fel1x · 18/09/2010 20:17

Shoes will be the least of your worries with 60 people drinking in your flat!!

BarringtonWomble · 18/09/2010 20:18

Haha!Grin This has been done on here before..amazing how polarized people are on this.

I don't like it tbh. Ok yes if it's dc trundling in half the garden on wellies but not asking guests that have turned up for the evening all dressed up for a party.

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:18

When we have had this discussion before people seem to be divided into two camps.

The first lot think that it is quite rude to dictate to guests that they have to take shoes off. (for example, some of your guests will be dressing in nice outfits complete with shoes/boots and may not want to take them off). Some people get cold feet etc, some people don't like to show off their feet or socks. Some people think well that's tough, and have solutions such as trying to offer them slippers to wear instead. Part of this opinion is that you think your carpets are more important than your guests.

The second lot think that is is rude for guests to expect to wear shoes. That no doubt they have deliberately trodden in dirt or dog muck to wreck your carpets and any "normal" person will take their shoes off without even being asked.

Personally I am somewhere in the middle. On our ground floor we have washable floors and a couple of nice rugs. I would probably take the rugs up if having a house full. If anyone is going to my bedroom/ensuite (top floor and very rare do visitors go there) then I do ask them to remove shoes; but not if on the main floor or using the bathroom.

BeenBeta · 18/09/2010 20:19

I'd find some obscure disease and cancel the party if I were you.

pinkgrasshopper · 18/09/2010 20:19

Totally unreasonable, I'm afraid. Unless you theme your party 'come as Sandie Shaw or Zola Budd'...!

thighsmadeofcheddar · 18/09/2010 20:20

My MIL thinks it's lower class (??) to have to take your shoes off. She's a bit like that.

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:21

suecy may I ask why you even have pale carpets if you are anxious about this? It would worry me, hence our decision not to have pale carpets or floors that will get ruined.

If dcs visit with mucky shoes then my own dcs just say "oh this is where we leave our shoes" - it is different for little dcs I think. Also I say to little guests that do leave their shoes on then they can't go and jump on the beds play upstairs if wearing outdoor shoes.

Original poster
suecy · 18/09/2010 20:21

But I do want to have the party! It's more heels and hard shoes on the wooden floor to be honest. It wouldn't bother me at all to be asked, but that seems not to be the majority view....

So you'd rather not be invited than be invited and asked to remove your shoes?! My parties are great!

OP posts:
nameymcnamechange · 18/09/2010 20:22

Suecy - if you do an advanced search and put "shoes off" in Thread Titles Only and do dates 01/01/10 to today, you will find another 4 long long discussions on this very subject which make for interesting reading ...

Its one of those questions Wink.

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:23

truthfully I would think that you were being overly precious about your floors and you valued them above the friendship.

Probably some other people will be along soon to tell you that YANBU at all.

BarringtonWomble · 18/09/2010 20:23

God, I'd LOVE to be told I could go and jump on the beds..sadly I never haveGrin

claig · 18/09/2010 20:24

YABU

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:24

Come on over Wombley. Grin

BarringtonWomble · 18/09/2010 20:25

Woohoo!Grin

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:26

but no food in the bedrooms Womble, Grin

That's one of my houserules. (unless it is chocolate that I am eating in my own bed!)

expatinscotland · 18/09/2010 20:27

'So you'd rather not be invited than be invited and asked to remove your shoes?!'

Yes.

No one who's uptight about their fecking hardwood floors (can be mopped) or carpets and then invites 60 people over is laid-back enough to throw a great party.

YABU.

LadyBiscuit · 18/09/2010 20:30

If you have decent wood floors, shoes won't damage them. I wear stilettos on mine and they are unmarked. Pine floorboards do mark though but I really don't think you can have a party and ask people to take their shoes off. I wouldn't come tbh.

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:32

hope all ok haven't seen you about for a while.

Sorry for hijack. :)

BarringtonWomble · 18/09/2010 20:32

LolGrin

Maybe hand out paper shoes at the door? I can see the threads in 'Style and Beauty' now..Can anyone find me a dress to go with
These shoes??

expatinscotland · 18/09/2010 20:32

hey, onepiece! we must be missing each other, i'm here nearly daily. :)

we're getting another cat next week. so chuffed.

thebrightside · 18/09/2010 20:33

If you have the nerve to ask it of your guests then go for it. People may think you are being a bit unreasonable, but it's not a big deal for someone to be in their socks for a while. It's your house they've been invited to.

60 people would make one big pile of shoes though...

GroupieGirl · 18/09/2010 20:33

Wooden floors + no shoes + booze = all the blokes (and, I suspect, most of the women) wanting to do Risky Business-style slides into the room!

pearlsandtwinset · 18/09/2010 20:35

Asian themed food, fancy dress and customs, yes, that includes removing shoes...

PS maybe warn people, I'd want to make sure I wasn't wearing either my usual flight socks as too cheap to buy proper ones Blush or had nicely painted toe nails.

onepieceoflollipop · 18/09/2010 20:35

If you are around expat I will start a little chat thread. :)