to make people take their shoes off?

[suecy]

Moving into a brand spanking new house in a few weeks, loads of wooden flooring and pale carpets.

Want to have a housewarming for family and friends - c60 poeple. Is it really rude on the invite to say guests will be expected to take their shoes off, no matter what they are? Just don't want any damage to the floors.

Does it make me sound unreasonable? The alternative is not to have the party!

Yes winedine I walked about in shoes.

Kids are not dead.

I'm not disputing that dirt is good for children etc you cannot prevent everything but in my opinion it is better to avoid unnecessary dirt. It is not possible to always know what you have stepped in.

YABU, You can't have a party and expect everyone to take their shoes off.

When did I say that kids could die from walking inside with shoes on?

I was only wondering if people changed that habit when kids were at the crawling stage.

Oh my word, I have never considered/encountered the concept of removing shoes on hosts requests to be anything but reasonable.

People who are saying that the host prefers their furniture to their friends. That means guests prefer shoes to their friend having to pay (their own money) to fix things up.

So to be clear YANBU

(but judging by this, warning your guests apparently will be required)

YANBU I always ask people to remove shoes...I don't want traces of dog crap/vomit./bird poo/urine being brought into my home...I have children and they roll about and play on the floor....so do I!
If people dont want to then tough!

You could make it fun by providing a bucket full of new funny cheapo slipper socks or flip flops for thosse who want them? I know some people feel naked without footwear.

You cannot have a proper party where you expect people to take their shoes off.

If I am going to a party, I want to dress like I'm going to a party. That means shoes that give you vertigo.

I generally have no issue with taking my shoes off. But not for a party for god's sake.

Was exagerating Wine. Using as an example that kids 'survive' crawling even if people continue to wear shoes around them.

Seems humour did not translate

Agree LadyBiscuit - have no issue taking shoes off if knocking about at mates in the afternoon drinking wine coffee. But a party is totally different. Shoes make the outfit!

just wondering for those of you who have children: When they were at the crawling stage, did you walk around in shoes?

I did. And I hate taking my shoes off in other people's houses. I do often wear slippers in my own house but I haven't got a bag large enough to carry them round to other people's houses all the time, and anyway I often put the rubbish out wearing slippers so it's the same as shoes really. I have even been as far as Sainsburys in them.

I genuinely think that unless you have literally stepped in liberal amounts of dog shit and walked it all over your carpets/floors, your crawling babies will come to no harm at all from a bit of dirt off your shoes. And frankly, even if you had stepped in dog shit they'd almost certainly be fine. If they have immune problems, that's a different kettle of fish and you have much more to worry about than shoes on carpets.

If I got an invitation to a party pre-warning me about having to be shoeless, I would laugh and laugh and laugh, and probably go on about it to the rest of my family for years and many cheap laughs. And take my own slippers which are probably just as dirty as my shoes.

YABU. people usually dress up a bit for parties, shoes are part of their outfit/look. I would not go to a party where i was asked to remove them. I would feel undressed.

I do take my shoes off quite often at other peoples houses out of courtesy but would never ask people to do so at ours. it's bad manners imo.

well said horton

it doesn't have to be big formal lets play dress up party

Thanks, minx.

I have a totally nutso SIL who has gone one better than making people take their shoes off at the door. She makes her husband take his shoes off at the door and change into 'downstairs slippers'. At the threshold to the kitchen, he then has to change into 'kitchen slippers'. And should he go upstairs, you've guessed it, he has another pair of 'upstairs slippers'.

To me, the shoes off brigade are only a tiny bit less nuts than this. And I hope we'd all agree, that's pretty barmy!

I imagine once SIL has crawling babies, she will probably be setting up decontamination tents between every room. She's very nice, btw, just totally barking.

Is she Japanese Horton? When I was living in Japan my Japanese friends were horrified that I didn't have kitchen slippers and passed out when they saw me run into my front room to pick up something I'd forgotten without taking my shoes off.

Personally I wouldn't care if someone asked me to take my shoes off but I don't really do dressing up so would probably be relieved to be able to ditch the laydees shoes.

Bathroom slippers I mean. My toilet was the size of a broom cupboard and I was expected to wear slippers in there - there was nowhere to walk.

No, she's from Essex!

If the shoe removing had any cultural context, as it does in, say, India, then I'd say no problem.

But it isn't.

It's new, and it's about valuing furniture above friends.

Get a doormat.

Having spent a small fortune restoring the parquet flooring through the ground floor of my house, if you're wearing any kind of heel then you're taking them off before you come in. No exceptions and no arguments.

Never had any complaints about this but generally speaking my friends are more likely to bring their slippers anyway. I couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing than having my friends round in all their finery, we're all far too laid back to give a toss about coordinating our cocktail dresses or what have you.

It's not about cocktail dresses! I wear heels most days so would certainly wear them to a party - even with jeans / leggings etc. Don't have to be uber dressy!

so getting dressed up is embarrassing but travelling everywhere with a pair of slippers isn't?

I'm not British, but in "the continent" people would consider your request bizarre at best.

For some reason the thought of people's shoeless feet in my home (especially in a party!) would irk me more than some mud.

Please do consider letting your precious wooden floor get some scuffs, marks and generally age naturally - wooden floors (like homes) always look better when they're lived-in

I don't value my floor above my friends, although most of you think I do. If I did I wouldn't even be thinking about having a do. I don't give a shiny about showing off my floor, but it is absolutely brand new, would cost a lot to replace and asking this of my guests would rule out the problem. I want my friends to get together and have a good laugh with us - if I had fitted lino I would prob still feel the same.

Want my friends to get together, don't want permenant damage to my floor - mess and dirt I can deal with, and have on many occasions in the past after a cracking do.....permenant marks in brand new flooring - not something i'd willingly invite.

Seems iabu according to you....

Have wooden floors become very fragile, or are they much lower quality than in the past? My family (older generation) all have predominantly wooden floors with rugs in their living areas, mostly original to the house and they all wear shoes (slippers are for bedtime aren't they?). Pre MN I've never heard of shoe removing when coming into a house, except for wellies. It seems very odd to me. I don't want cold feet!