Yes, I know it's been done before (I think I still have the thread about first-class travel by plane with children bookmarked somewhere), but I don't care.
So, traveling to Manchester from London earlier today on a midday train for my sister's wedding(s). 16mo DS is highly strung at the best of times, let alone when traveling for 4hrs strapped into a buggy, so was justifiably dreading the trip. I'd booked 2 first class tickets, figuring that I could take him out of his buggy from time to time and have him sit beside me, vainly hoping that having a bit more space to kick about would help make the trip easier.
To put it bluntly, he screamed the entire way, frustrated at not being able to move around. I didn't want to risk blocking the aisles by walking him between carriages and disturbing more people than need be. Colouring books, an iPod with headphones, cartoons on a laptop, lots of finger food, moving all breakable objects and clearing the table of anything he could lob as a weapon etc did nothing. Whatever I tried, he found a way to make it dangerous/antisocial. Even trying to ignore the bad typical behaviour of a non-speaking toddler coupled with regular finger-wagging, proferring a dummy and even (and this I hate to admit) smacking his hand away when he reached to bang the table with his cup/hands/spoon repeatedly for the umpteenth time didn't help. I was utterly mortified when various people moved away tutting loudly and couldn't bring myself to face them.
We finally got to Manchester and, heaving a massive sigh of resignation relief, started getting our stuff together to leave the train. A gentleman walking to the exit waited for the carriage doors to close before launching into a mini-tirade at the other strangers about his ruined journey, all this in clear ear-shot of me. I wish I'd been the bigger person and let it go, but I opened the carriage doors and said to him that it was rude to talk in such a manner about people within their earshot, that we had all been children once and that I had done all I could to keep DS as quiet as possible. The other people looked away and he went a shade of red before turning his back to me and muttering sarcastically (and I quote) "Well, you obviously didn't do a great job of it." I'm ashamed to admit that I told him that I hoped I would have the good grace of raising my son a lot better than his parents did of him. He walked off the train, and I waited before getting to our hotel before bursting into tears.
The thing is I know how frustrating it must be wanting some peace and quiet on a train journey and being subjected to the wailing of someone else's banshee child, but I really don't know what else I could have done. The worst thing is I have to make the same journey back on Sunday in standard class and keep getting a lump in my throat just thinking about it, to the point where I'm considering using my college grant to book a taxi journey all the way home, with the opportunity of stopping at regular intervals to give DS the opportunity to get rid of as much energy as possible. It's something I can ill-afford, but the thought of having to go through the same thing has me in bits!
I don't really think IW/ABU at the incident on the train, but the whole thing (including and especially the smack) made me feel like a shitty traveler/person/mother. I'm exhausted from the 12hr days at college, the lack of sleep from a DS who still doesn't sleep through the night, the inability to get any work done this weekend, the knowledge that next week at college is going to be hellish, the 9am starts and the thought of another 4 hour journey door to door from Manchester to South London. Apologies for the melodramatic tone, but some Mumsnet words of support, coupled with un-Mumsnetty hugs, would be much appreciated right now ...