Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be scared of death?

69 replies

BlueCupcake · 16/09/2010 20:34

I have a huge phobia of death and can't stop thinking about it.Wondered if any mn's are scared of this?
Have two beautiful dc's.Had ds2 recently so maybe that's my excuse for being such a miserable morbid sod

OP posts:

UnderneathTheStream · 16/09/2010 20:35

Me. Get huge panics about it weekly/daily.

I think it's in the range of "normal"...

MrsC2010 · 16/09/2010 20:36

Me too, the concept of mortality and getting old really scares me...especially now I have a lovely husband and new baby. Wish I could stop worrying about it to be honest!

fuschiagroan · 16/09/2010 20:38

YANBU but when you're dead, you won't know you're dead. There'll just be nuffink (or heaven, if you're that way inclined). Either way, it's a win

maresedotes · 16/09/2010 20:39

My husband has a phobia of death too. He thinks about it several times a day. He mentioned it to his GP once and was advised to go on an Alpha Course. He didn't go though because he didn't think it would help.

Sorry, I'm not being very helpful am I??

bigfootbeliever · 16/09/2010 20:39

The thought of getting ill and havng to leave my DH and DS to manage alone scares me witless. You're not alone in thinking about this.

ConnorTraceptive · 16/09/2010 20:40

I'm not so bad now but after DS1 was born it used to swamp my thoughts. I think it's natural to be afraid of death and I don't think you need to change your feelings about that particularly but you need to work on not letting it occupy your thoughts so much.

Denial is a wonderful thing!

Seriously though I had massive anxiety issues after ds's birth and it snowballed out of control. In the end my GP was a great help.

Meglet · 16/09/2010 20:40

I am hopeless with worrying about dying. I take my vits, go to the gym, never smoked, eat well and intend to live to over 100, but even then I'd quite like to carry on. There's too much I want to do!

Dad died in the summer so it spooks me even more (if that's possible ).

Curlybrunette · 16/09/2010 20:42

I worry about it more now I've got the kids, my dh is a fab dad and adores the kids but would they get their 5 a day if I go....not a chance, getting 1 a day would be pushing it!

I don't worry about dying in a major anxiety way but I do worry that if it happened now, or before now (dc 4 and 2) they might not remember me. That makes me want to cry everytime.

If anything I worry more about how I die then actually dying. I work in healthcare and see some super poorly dying people, I dread ever having a nasty disease that makes me waste away into nothingness.

On that depressing thought I'll go for now!
x

quiddity · 16/09/2010 20:42

I think having babies makes you worry about death--I worried about it for years after I had my ds. Now I just worry about getting really ill and lingering horribly for years. Much better.

mumeeee · 16/09/2010 20:43

I am a christian andI'm not scared of death. I believe there is a life after death and while dying is very sad. It's the body that dies but your soul lives on in heavenI've just been to a funeral of a 20 year old DS of a friend of mine. He's parents are Christians and I know he was to, Yes they are grieving for him but theyt also beleive he has now got eternal life in heaven

fuschiagroan · 16/09/2010 20:44

I worry more about not being allowed to die. I really hope voluntary euthanasia is legal by the time I might need it.

juneybean · 16/09/2010 20:46

I am scared too, also scared of my mum never being here anymore.

I think it is the fear of the unknown.

deemented · 16/09/2010 20:49

Is it death you're scared of, or the thought of leaving your children motherless?

IMO they are two very different things. I worry about one, but have no fear of the other.

thefirstmrsDeVere · 16/09/2010 20:54

I worry about something happening to me and leaving my boys. OH has MS so I fret about how he would cope.

But I am not scared of death. I was with my Dad when he died and I held my DD in my arms when she died. Both were peaceful.

Dad was unexpected and sudden (pre op negligence) DD's was expected and gradual.

The thing that worries me is having a 'bad' death. My darling girl had the best death we could give her. No pain, at home with her mummy and daddy. Peace and dignity.

Thats what I want.

And I get to be with her again.

Original poster

BlueCupcake · 16/09/2010 20:58

thefirstmrsDeVere-I am so sorry for your loss.

Thankyou for your posts.Didn't think anyone would think the same..so I'm not completely mental(just a bit)!!

OP posts:

LauraNorder · 16/09/2010 21:02

oh thefirstMrsDevere that is so moving. I am so sorry for your losses

Yes I am afraid of dying, but I think the fear is definitely associated with leaving my children and most overwhelming is the thought that if I died tonight in a couple of years they wouldn't hardly remember me

thefirstmrsDeVere · 16/09/2010 21:03

blue I do tend to go off on one.

I did mean to say I do know what you mean. I was very much the same after having children. Its natural.

It can become a bit overwhelming and I had times after DC2 where I saw danger at every corner and thought about little else. It wore off after a while and as I got more sleep.

DameGladys · 16/09/2010 21:13

Another one here going through a phase of having v regular obtrusive thoughts about it.

I do think that having children, miscarriages, getting older, suffering bereavements etc can be triggers.

I'm just hoping it will fade a bit and occupy my thoughts less often. I'm sure it has started to already.

Two thoughts comforted me a little - one that the length of time I have been around thus far is hopefully at least as long as I have still to live (if that makes sense). My lifetime to date feels like a very long time when I think back to being a baby/child. So it's a nice thought to have so long (fingers crossed).

The other thought is less comforting at the moment though perhaps could be more so in the future. It's that maybe I won't always be unable to believe in some kind of afterlife. Unlikely, but something to shelve for the future perhaps - perhaps I could really fool myself into it!

sickoftheholidays · 16/09/2010 21:17

I have regular panic attacks about something happening to kids.
My usual paranoia is that something will happen and I will have to choose which child to save.
I think its a fairly normal neurosis to have.

TheDoodler · 16/09/2010 21:19

It bothers me too - alot. Not how i die but the nothingness afterwards. As a teenager i was even worse and am a bit better now i'm older (so a bit different to some of you).

DH says before you were born you were nothing so it will be the same. But just not being here and not thinking etc. is terrifying to me.

I try to turn it to good use by 'living for the day' and not taking things too seriously and counting my blessings.

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child - DeVere you have my sympathies

TheDoodler · 16/09/2010 21:20

Mumeeee - sometimes i wish i had faith.

SassySusan · 16/09/2010 21:36

After DD died,I was terrified something would happen to DH. He was worse. He followed me from room to room for weeks.

I think your fears are normal though- now that DD has died (she was an only child) my need to live to look after her has sort of evaporated.

Like, y'know when you're anxious in really bad weather in case there is a car crash when you're a mum .. now I just think... oh well. whatever...

BeerTricksPotter · 16/09/2010 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ihearthuckabees · 16/09/2010 21:51

for Sassy and MrsdeVere

LisaD1 · 16/09/2010 21:54

I used to be terrified of dying and would cry just at the thought of it. Now though I kind of accept that there are 2 things in life we're all guaranteed to do, be born and die, it's what you do with the in between that matters.

i don't WANT to die and hope I'm around for many years but it's something I know will happen.

Flip

1 2 3