Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When did you get your (child's) bottom out?

54 replies

Easywriter · 16/09/2010 19:13

Today my friend, freshly glowing from the superiority complex assumed after potty training her 2.7 year old son in 2-3 weeks, (can you tell I'm green with envy?) started to encourage me to potty train my DD.

History: I potty trained DD's1&2 at 2.10 months and it was a nightmare with one of them (she's only just about truly dry now at 6.10). For me it has definitely been the worst thing about being a parent.

My strategy was to wait. DD is due to start nursery in January and I was even hoping that they might do it for me.

So I was prepared to wait until she could demand to go on the loo before starting potty training. She's currently 2.10 and sometimes does a wee on the potty but isn't really that bothered.

My friend thinks that because it has to be done at some point, I should get on and do it and ultimately it's a win-win situation but I can't begin to tell you how much I don't want to do this.

Am I being unreasonable to wait simply because I can't be bothered and am a bit scared?

As well as a flaming(should you feel I deserve one I'd also like to know when you potty trained (especially if it was older than 3 and if you wished you'd done it sooner, or if you let someone else do it).

OP posts:
HRHPrincessReality · 16/09/2010 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TabithaTwitchet · 16/09/2010 19:16

Ooh will be watching this with interest, have just started with DD (2.9) and hate it already, half thinking of stopping again as DD doesn't like it much either. Or rather, she is in love with her new pants, but not with using the potty.

HRHPrincessReality · 16/09/2010 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RaisedFromPerdition · 16/09/2010 19:17

I pt dd when she started telling me she needed to go. She was clean from very young (17 months) but wasn't dry day and night until 2.1.

I tried to find a balance between her being ready and not leaving it that long that the ability was there but ignored so replaced with laziness iyswim.

You could try in a very laidback way and see what happens? Sort of oh let's leave the potty out and if you want to sit on it you can?

pinkbasket · 16/09/2010 19:17

YANBU and it isn't anything to do with your friend.

DS1 was 2.11 before I even thought to try and he was 3.7 before we could go out without spare pants. DD trained herself before 2 and ds2 did it in 3 days at 2 1/2. Every child is different.

If you want to try and encourage your dd why not take her shopping to get you some new knickers then ask her if she would like some..

Original poster
Easywriter · 16/09/2010 19:18

You see having had one that takes aaaaages and gone through the seven stages (of parenting a child who has "accidents"), I can't bear the thought of it again.

OP posts:
eaglewings · 16/09/2010 19:21

ds was over 3, dd trainned herself at 20 months. Still have the unopened packet of nappies I bought before a holiday not beliveing she would be dry having taken so long with ds.

Glad I waited with ds until we were both ready, it would have been a nightmare if we had tried before he was 3.

Don't listen to anyone but your child, that includes me.....Grin

FerminaUrbinoDaza · 16/09/2010 19:22

Shock YABU (but your 'friend' is BVVU)

you can't be bothered to potty train even try potty training a 2.10 year old. Did you wait until she could use a knife and fork and demand sausage, mash and peas before you weaned her?

perfumedlife · 16/09/2010 19:22

I think the potty is a daft concept. They are ugly, and once you have trained the child to use it, they then need to unlearn to use it and go to the loo.

I had ds fully toilet trained by his second birthday [smug face] but only because he couldn't join the big kids until dry. I spent a week at parents holiday home and just went for it.

I honestly think all kids are ready at a different age though and there is little point rushing it. My sis had her son fully trained and out of nappies at one Shock

Come to think of it, he didn't have much of a childhood either.

Egg · 16/09/2010 19:23

DS1 was a nightmare to potty train at 3.2. Did not wish I had done it earlier, but tbh think his main prob was because he was on Movicol for constipation so really couldn't stop himself when he pooed!

DD just potty trained age 2.7 with v few accidents after first week and no accidents after second week. DS2 who is DDs twin is NOT ready and I refuse to do him yet. He did try at same time as DD as he was keen, but it wasn't working...

I am going to wait until he demands to do it himself!

Original poster
Easywriter · 16/09/2010 19:28

Fermina I think (Possibly deep down) you may have a point. I did baby led weaning (which translates as weaning your baby with no hassle what so ever).

I am a lazy mother!

OP posts:
Rockbird · 16/09/2010 19:29

In the middle of training DD (2.8yo) and it is a pain in the arse even though she's more than ready, has been using the potty and toilet for about 18 months. I would say it's the worst part of parenting so far, yes. I don't think YABU to wait until she just decides she doesn't want the nappy any more. But then my SIL thinks I'm barmy and told me that I should give DD a smack every time she took her nappy off Hmm

smokinaces · 16/09/2010 19:31

DS1 was 2.1 and DS2 was 2.3. Both asked to go on the potty and were dry within a day - my rule has always been more than 3 accidents in a row and they're not ready. Both boys tried a couple of times before, but I couldnt be bothered with the mess and honestly think if they are ready they will grasp it really quickly.

FerminaUrbinoDaza · 16/09/2010 19:32

I'm a lazy mother too. Also did BLW (grand isn't it?).

Take Valium Relax. Give her the chance to try and see what happens. She may well surprise you Wink

OnlyWantsOne · 16/09/2010 19:34

DD was 2years 2 months and it was the easiest thing we did, she decided no nappies, big girl pants... did it in a week, never looked back, dry at night at 3 - Each child is completely different!! So ignore your friend and do what feels right for you

tudorrose · 16/09/2010 19:34

Potty training scares me too and I have had it easy so far. DD1 was dry at 2.1 and DD2 at 2.5 and they both took to it well, no problems or accidents really.

However, DD3 who is 2.7 has no interest whatsoever! She will sit happily on the potty or toilet then stand up and wee on the floor then sit back down. She would play quite happily in a dirty nappy and not even care. (I don't let her tho!) I have given up for now after trying to sort it overf the summer. She just isn't ready. Even the Peppa Pig knickers did not work and she absolutely loves them!

deste · 16/09/2010 19:37

DS 16 months day and night, DD 23 months, over a weekend.

BellasFormerFriend · 16/09/2010 19:38

YANBU, IME leaving it late works really well, the child understands and wants to be clean and dry and knows how to do it! We even managed to bypass pottys alltogether!

Your friend needs to keep her beak out and let you do things your way, there is one universal rule with potty training, the more relaxed you all are the easier it will be. Leave it until you are relaxed and it should all be fine!

The nursery won't do it for you BTW but exposure to other children using toilets and pottys will catapult your child up the learning curve!

colditz · 16/09/2010 19:39

Ds1, aged 2.8 when started, aged 3.4 when finsihed day, aged 7.4 when finished night

Ds1 aged 3 when started, aged 3.10 when half trained, aged 4.5 now and still has both poo and wee accidents, not nigh trained.

My poor, poor washing machine./

Original poster
Easywriter · 16/09/2010 19:45

Bellas FF I'm a little worried that if I wait until I'm relaxed DD may well be a grandmother (though obviously that special class of grandma that smells of wee AND poo!!)

OP posts:
BellasFormerFriend · 16/09/2010 19:58

Grin trust me you will get fed up with nappies before then Wink

notquitenormal · 16/09/2010 20:04

DS is 2.5 and spends 90% of his time at home running round with no bottoms on. He's cracked doing poos in the potty, but not wees. I don't think he knows when he wants one yet...and until that happens I don't really see the point in full on training.

I'm not too bothered. I'm angling for a new rug anyway.

CardyMow · 16/09/2010 20:06

DD - during the day, she started potty training at 3yrs 3 months, but wasn't dry until 5 yrs 4 months! (During the day, she wasn't dry at night until she was 12yrs 4 months, only 8 weeks ago!!!)

DS1 - dry day and night at 19 months, of his own choice, and has not ONCE had an accident.

DS2 - dry during the day at 2yrs 7 months, at night at 3yrs 6 months.

Have found that every child is very different on when they are ready to be potty trained.

Ilythia · 16/09/2010 21:31

DD1 potty trained herself at 2.9, had given her chances to use the loo etc before but not fully started training. She decided one day to use the loo and has only had a handful of accidents since, normally due to urine infections as well.
DD2 is 2.11 and not ready. She does not want to sit on the loo or the potty and that is that. she will at nursery but never at home. Am happy to wait!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 16/09/2010 21:36

6

both of them.

Grin before you fall over in shock, they have autism, so it's not the same thing.

However, it sort of is the same thing in the following way.

They did it when they were ready. One day, ds2 just took off his nappy and flung it across the room. Grin

As long as you teach them what the potty is for, give it lots of positivity, then imo the best thing to do is let them do it in their own time. I think they take to it easier and have fewer accidents if it comes from them.