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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think balloons can't be all bad....

127 replies

Minxie1977 · 14/09/2010 22:39

My friend goes to a village fete thing every year. The DC's run around the hall after it's all packed away - apparently it's the highlight for the DC's just getting to run about having fun. My friend took along some balloons with the intention of blowing them up for all the DC's to play with during their run about.

As she started on the first balloon, one of the mums came dashing over to say 'My DD hates balloons, would you mind not getting them out as we'll have to leave if you do'. My friend turned to her mum (also mid-balloon) and said 'You need to put them away Mum, there's a little girl who doesn't like balloons so none of the other children can have them'. Other mum said 'Oh, thanks, that's great' and walked off.

AIBU to wonder WTF!?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Minxie1977 · 15/09/2010 10:42

Don't be sorry - you were just being nosey & didn't expect such an odd reply I'm sure Smile Thanks for being nice about it - you would have more reason than most to think I'm an evil loon!

OP posts:
traceybath · 15/09/2010 10:45

I think a balloon phobia is quite a common phobia. I'm not phobic of balloons but don't like it when children burst them and I do worry a bit about the choking thing. So I would have been fine to remove them.

I am phobic of birds and its really horrid so I really sympathise with anyone who has a phobia. Like others have said I would jump in the road to avoid a pigeon - stupid and irrational but there you go.

Mowiol · 15/09/2010 10:45

Not at all Minxie. Smile

NestaFiesta · 15/09/2010 11:00

Chipping- I'm not saying its a tragedy that the children didn't get to play with balloons that day, but I think its a majority thing.

You can't change the whole world to fit one person, and that's why I think the mother was wrong to stop them blowing up the balloons.

Like I said, if my son's phobia was cake, I wouldn't stop everyone else from having cake.

As for phobias themselves, I do udnerstand no matter what the phobia is that it can be debilitating and embarrassing as I have arachnophobia myself. I had to dispose of a whopper in front of my DS and screamed and nearly cried. Couldn't help myself and certainly didn't help him!

To me this issue is not about phobias, its about fairness.

hatsybatsy · 15/09/2010 11:08

YANBU

i do know a little boy who has a genuine phobia of balloons - he really can't be in the same space as them without crying/generalyl getting very upset.

but his parents are very sensible - if there are balloons at a party they stay and are there when he needs them - even take him out of the room/away from the party if it gets bad

at no point have they ever asked people not to do balloons. the other kids are in the majority

GoodDaysBadDays · 15/09/2010 11:17

Gigantaur I have a butterfly phobia, though not moths oddly enough. I don't like moths but can't even look at a picture of a butterfly.

Phobia's are awful things but I do often hear people referring to their fear as a phobia it must sometimes makes people less inclined to be sympathetic

HowsTheSerenity · 15/09/2010 11:17

I think a lot of people confuse the word fear with phobia. A fear or something is a lot different to a phobia of something (kind of like people saying they have the flu when they just have a cold).

GoodDaysBadDays · 15/09/2010 11:24

howsTheSerenity Or people saying they are dyslexic when the have trouble reading / spelling [ready to jump on soapbox emotion]

Gigantaur · 15/09/2010 11:28

ooh gooddays - i've never met anyone who shares my freakishness.

I am terrible. it is quite debilitating. I cannot even allow DD to have clothing/shoes or toys that have butterflies on them.

along our street there is a buddleja plant in a front garden, i have to walk the long way round to the other end and then back down to my car as i simply cannot walk past it and the attracted butterflies.

I very nearly killed myself very recently as a moth flew into the bathroom and in my hurry to escape it i slipped on the floor and knocked myself out on the radiator.

It does very much irritate me when people refer to their fears as phobia's.
A phobia is much much stronger than a fear.

MackerelOfFact · 15/09/2010 11:32

I used to be afraid of balloons as a child (not really a phobia, just anxious about them) because I was scared they would blow away. I remember bursting into tears at pre-school when they were making paper-mâché bowls using balloons even though the balloons were inside and the workers took the time to try and comfort me and show me they couldn't blow away.

I'm not sure if the other mum was being unreasonable or not really - in that situation I probably would have left with my DC at that point, as it would become apparent they would no longer going to enjoy the runaround once the balloons came out. I'd give the child the choice between staying and there being balloons, or going and avoiding the balloons. She needs to learn that her surroundings can't always been manipulated to her needs and therefore make decisions and compromises.

deaddei · 15/09/2010 11:32

DD had a balloon phobia but I never dreamt of asking the host not to have them just because of her phobia- not fair on everyone else.

2shoes · 15/09/2010 11:53

sorry just have to say there is difference between being sacred of clowns and being scared of someone with a disability.
clowns choose to be clowns.

Mowiol · 15/09/2010 12:03

And people don't choose to have uncontrollable phobias

2shoes · 15/09/2010 12:08

i know I have one

GoodDaysBadDays · 15/09/2010 12:13

Giagantaur, My Mum had a buddleia bush in her garden when we were growing up, I was too scared to go to that side of the garden!

I must admit I have been able to cope with it a little better since having dc's, I'm not quite the gibbering wreck I was 15 years ago! Now if there's one in the garden I could stay outside as long as I knew where it was at all times and that it wasn't going to come anywhere near me

Fel1x · 15/09/2010 12:27

It would be worth getting therapy to get over that one!
Being scared of people with dwarfism sounds as bad as being scared of gay people or black people. Not something I'd like to admit and would do everything possible to get over it tbh

ChippingIn · 15/09/2010 12:58

Minxi don't feel bad, your phobia is as real as any other phobia. To everyone else it's irrational at best, nasty at worst. You are doing well to try to overcome it.

2shoes What is your phobia and why are you 'allowed' a Phobia but Minxie isn't? For the person with the phobia there is no difference between a phobia or clowns/balloons/spiders or people with a disability. A clown may choose to be a clown but the person doesn't choose to have that phobia.

Nesta (& others) the thing is, it was a run around after a fete, one mother thought it would be fun to get balloons out, another mother asked her not to as her daughter has a fear of them - it wasn't a birthday party, it wasn't a planned balloon event - the children wouldn't have even know - so I don't see why, for once, this childs fear couldn't be taken into account.

whomovedmychocolate · 15/09/2010 13:32

People are really scared of balloons? Confused

Blimey. You learn something new every day.

I'm not scared of anything - I must be a right weirdo Wink

ChippingIn · 15/09/2010 13:52

WMMC my god-daugher did one of her School Speaches on phobias - it was very interesting. Do you know what Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia means??

Yep

Fear of long words. You'd have thought they could have found something a tad shorter!

deaddei · 15/09/2010 13:55

Minxie- I too have a phobia about dwarfs. Shock
I have no idea why- I try really hard not to let it affect me.

Mouseface · 15/09/2010 14:01

I'm 35 and scared to death of balloons, because of the fact that they can burst at any moment.

So I suppose it's the bang that scares me.

[nervouse nelly emoticon]

ChippingIn · 15/09/2010 14:04

speech even Blush

I suffer a bit from claustrophobia - I can be in very small places, it doesn't bother me, but I hate being locked in somewhere, even if it's a big place. So I would be fine shut in a small dark cupboard if I knew I could get out, but if you locked me in a large warehouse with no windows to break I'd start worrying. On a smaller scale, I panic if I can't get a toilet door unlocked, or if a lift stops - I can control it, because I know it's irrational, but it doesn't stop that initial panic. It is getting worse as I get older in that I now feal a bit that way in a plane, but on the other hand I am able to control it, so it's not too bad. I would really hate to have a phobia that I was unable to control.

The little boy I met who had globophobia (phobia wrt balloons) was a real eye opener, I have met many kids who just don't like them or are a big scared of them banging etc - but this kid walked into the room and was terrified, poor little thing. So we took the balloons into the other room and at the end of the party he went first then we gave the other kids their balloons - party girl didn't even notice, nor did the other kids really, a couple asked why we were doing it and we just said to make more room and so they didn't get burst before it was time to take them home - no biggie.

NestaFiesta · 15/09/2010 18:50

Chippingm whilst I am not dismissing balloon phobias or saying that compromises shouldn't ever be made to accommodate them, I sometimes think its not good for children to have the world changed to fit them.

There is a danger of over entitlement. I agree with deaddei and Mackerel when she said "She needs to learn that her surroundings can't always been manipulated to her needs and therefore make decisions and compromises."

I'm not saying never accommodate them, but in RL the world won't bend to their shape so its not always a good lesson.

If I had been the woman in OP's scenario I wouldn't have said anything. My DC's needs/wants are important, but they don't outrank a room full of other DCs.

paisleyleaf · 15/09/2010 18:55

There didn't seem to be any sort of entitlement, dictating or anything going on.
The woman said "would you mind..."

Serendippy · 15/09/2010 19:08

2shoes, in your desperation to be PC you are completely ignoring the fact that true phobias are uncontrollable. If you think that anyone would choose to admit to having a phobia of people with dwarfism, you are barking. However it is something which cannot be controlled. Clearly your phobia, if you have one, is a more 'popular' one? One that you can get understanding and support for? Lucky you to be so common.