to think that the sender of an invitation should remember whether or not they invited you?

[RGPargy]

Basically, months ago i received an evening wedding reception invitation from a guy who i am acquainted with (we both are into our music and wrote a track together too). I was quite surprised to receive the invitation because i would have not really considered myself to be a "friend", more like someone that he knows really. We have done things socially together, i.e. as a foursome with our respective partners etc but i wouldn't have said we were close. So anyway, when i received the invitation i was quite touched that he thought to invite me! I immediately sent back an RSVP to say that yes, we would be attending.

Anyway, the day of the wedding arrives and DS and I go along to the wedding reception. I spot the bride, go over and say hello, you look lovely etc etc. After about an hour, i finally see the groom so went over to say hello and offer my congrats. He sees me and says "heeeeey!! Hello RG, how are you?!. Erm... did i invite you?"

He then made light of his comment by saying that he'd forgotten who he'd invited but i got the impression he was back peddling a bit....

I was a bit put out by this comment,to say the least! It made me feel that all the effort i'd put into buying a card and present (albeit nothing expensive) was just wasted and i needn't have bothered going at all as clearly i wouldn't have been missed!

I've never been married so i haven't experienced first hand all the stress of arranging a wedding etc but surely you would know who you invited, wouldn't you?

Definitly weird. And rude.

Well if it was a really big wedding, I can see how they mightn't remember everyone, but I still think he was a bit rude to react like that.

I think thats rather rude, even if he had forgotten that he had invited you he didnt to say that to you!
I would be rather peeved too!

You sound a bit concerned about yourself on someone else's wedding day, OP.

Did he have lots of people to his wedding ? I didn't remember exactly who I'd invited to my wedding on the day because I thought that part of the day was dealt with and all I had to think about was the actual ceremony. I couldn't have cared less about the guests at that point, to be honest. I was getting married and I'd done all the prep I possibly could have before the big day iself.

I wouldn't care very much what he said actually because it was his wedding day and he probably wasn't thinking straight. He clearly wouldn't want to p*ss of an invited guests although clearly his words were insensitive.

Don't put yourself first here. It's someone else's big day and it's very stressful.

How tactless of him. It may be his wedding, but when someone has come bearing gifts from afar, you don't basically slap them in the face by letting them know how indifferent you are to their presence. Guests aren't compulsory; you still have the responsibility to be a decent host if you invite them.

he sounds a bit of a knob, tbh. He didn't need to say that at all, whether or not he remembered inviting you. Don't stress it - he's the knob, not you.

You must have felt embarrassed - I know I would have!!
And DH and I knew exactly who we had invited to our wedding, DD and Son-in-law knew exactly who they had invited to their wedding. It's the bride and groom's job to circulate and make people feel welcome after all (and usually guests have been kind enough to give a gift).
He should not have said what he did - but presumably his backpeddling was down to his realising he had been ungracious. He probably felt like an idiot about it all.

It wasn't a particularly big wedding at all!

Glad i'm not the only one that thinks it was a bit off for him to say that, his wedding or not!

I don't think you were putting yourself first like winky says, it's not as though you started an argument with the bloke over it.

I can only think that his mind was befuddled with the days events or it was a 'joke'.

I'm sure he didn't mean to make you feel like you do, hope you had a good time anyway.

No, like Zigzag said, you weren't putting yourself first, just a bit hurt and sounds like you hid it well on their big day. I didn't know half the guests at my wedding (a lot of DH's old colleagues etc) but thanked all of them for coming and wouldn't ever have said "did I invite you?". It would make someone feel so unwelcome.

The groom was rude, probably unintentionally, but I'd have been hurt by that too, so YADNBU. it might have been someone else's special day, but it doesn't mean they are allowed to be rude to people. I do think it was accidental though.

That is really rude! I suppose maybe he was stressed and it just slipped out, but if so, he should have apologized.