To think some parents are daft as brushes

[HeathcliffMoorland]

To begin, I'm baffled by those who cuddle/praise a child who has just hit them/someone else. He is behaving inappropriately and this should not be reinforced.

I don't understand those who say that he won't 'let' them hold his hand when crossing the road. YOU are the parent. Do NOT endanger your two year old just because he doesn't feel like holding your hand.

Also, those who laugh indulgently when their 5 year old proclaims his/her dislike of a person who the child knows to be within earshot(i.e. in the room).

Finally (for the moment) I can't stand when parents think bad behaviour (read violent and screamy, not exuberant) is cute and funny - it's not!

So is anyone else irritated by certain parenting behaviours? And AIB completely unreasonable to be bothered by these?

I was with a parent yesterday whos 2 year old ran into a carpark I shouted at him to get off the road, whilst the parent didn't seem to understand why I had shouted

Altinkum, I KNEW I'd get responses like that!

I concentrate on teaching my three manners and safety. It doesn't mean others can't penetrate my fortress-like consciousness and cause irritation!

Also, these all refer to things that actually have happened, including a friend who praised her toddler for hitting my DD.

wth @ praising for hitting... extremely strange
unless the other child hit them first and maybe praising for defending themselves or something, which on some level can understand

i can understand about the hand holding because v difficult for mine i have to grip him quite hard, he is not keen on hand holding @ all so can see why @ times people dont bother, if they feel they can trust them to walk sensibly beside them at least?

children saying rude comments about others in the room i find so rude, surely its embarrasing for the parent too??

And its your business how?

My 3 year old won't let me hold his hand. We generally end up crossing a road with me holding him by the arm, hood or occasionally the scruff of his neck while he screams at me to let go. The likes of you standing by openly judging makes it so much easier though, thanks.

Firawla, she indulgently called him a 'typical little boy', cuddled him and told me she didn't want to undermine his confidence by telling him off. I was a little shocked, tbh.

The hand-holding: I can see where people are coming from by not wanting to, but actually not doing it when a child is the type who will try to run out in front of cars is what upsets me.

The rude comments? I have a friend who reports them back to me and says things like 'he should be a comedian - he's so funny'.

Bonnie - I don't judge people who actually hold their children by the arm/scruff. Even if the child screams, at least the parent is keeping the child out of danger. It's when kids are allowed to run out in front of cars that I worry.

Altinkum - It upsets me to see my child being hit. It adds insult to injury when this behavbiour is praised.

Behaviour, I mean.

And no, I never find naughtiness funny.

I really don't notice or particularly care how other parents choose to raise their children, as long as they aren't abusive or neglectful.

I know!

I'm just ranting, really.

I know other people will judge me. It doesn't upset me. Likewise, I don't really expect my judgement to affect others.

People do get awfully cranky on Mumsnet, sometimes!

EleFun, I class allowing children to run out in front of cars as neglectful.

Outside of that, as I said, I don't like seeing my child get hit. I also have a friend whose children punch her and she just looks a bit lost - I also hate seeing her find it difficult and part of me wishes she'd stand up for herself.

Otherwise, just ranting!

How do you know? that the child in question is 'the type who will try to run out in front of cars' unless you are talking about children that you know personnaly.

And when do you ever see 'kids allowed to run out in front of cars'?
wouldn't that end up in an accident or a near miss?
I don't see this happening on every corner of road even when the dc are not holding the parent's hand.

Your friend seems to have a very casual approach to discipline with her DS though

For the rest YABU.

Ah, glad to hear you ain't cranky.

Alt you do sound very defensive!

Altinkum - surely it is Heathcliff's business when another child is given cuddles (positive attention) when they have hit her child? It isn't going to be very pleasant for her child (or any other child) to be around that child if he doesn't get told it is wrong to hit - and worse, gets something nice (the cuddle) for hitting??

I am referring to people I know for all of these, genie.

Yes, my sister's DD does like to play chicken. Cars have needed to emergency stop for her - I've only heard this info 2nd hand, and all I could think was WHY DID YOU NOT STOP HER!?! Ironically, my sister is otherwise safety-conscious and far stricter than I!

To elaborate on the hitting, I also have a relative whose DS will hit someone and then cry. Then, along comes his Mummy to comfort him!

Well that changes things a bit then if all the examples you have given are from parents and children you actually know on a personal level.

From your original post i though you were generalising these things to every little Johnny or Mary that are not holding hands with mum when crossing the road.

You can think what you want of them, it's a free country (and i'm not insinuating politic here )... but the bottom line is how they raise their kids is their own business.

You are certainly right to be annoyed if your child is being hit by another and then praise and cuddles are given to the other child.
Although it is true that children will be children and will do these things such as hitting,... you would expect a different reaction from the parent after the incident.

Thanks Genie.

I didn't want to come across as too... specific - that would have significantly lengthened my OP.

I know it's people's own business, and I'm not a complete fascist! Sometimes, however, I enjoy a bit of light judgement on a Saturday.