Please confirm my mother is being unreasonable

[PutUponDaughter]

New here, just looking for some advice.

I'm a student, aged 21. When I'm not at university I live at home with my mum and my teenage sister.

I've been working away for the summer and brought back two suitcases of clothes. They are in the hallway and my mum and I have been rowing because I haven't washed them yet. I got back on Sunday night and I've had a really busy week as I've had to see all my old friends before I go back to university next week. I've been really tired because of my holiday job, so I've needed to sleep a lot. She is complaining that she will have to do the washing. I will do it, but there's no need yet as I've still got a lot of clean clothes upstairs. She is complaining (again!) that she will end up drying and ironing them and says that when I wash them I put them on the wrong cycle and don't take them out of the machine. How the hell does it hurt the clothes if you leave them in the machine overnight? I don't think clothes need to be ironed, but she's really anal about it.

She's just had a real go at me because I've made myself breakfast and she's just seen the plate on my floor and says we'll have mice or rats. OK there are a few glasses and mugs in my room, but have you ever heard of a mouse wanting a cup of tea?

It's her house, her rules. If you don't want to live like that, find somewhere else.

sorry - but your Mum is not being unreasonable. Her house her rules. Just get the washing done!!!

cross-post!

And you want confirmation that your mother IBU?

Really?

YABU

You are treating her house like a hotel

Ha ha ha!

yes she is. hve you not reminded he tat he job as a mother is to do the washing/cleaning/picking up. what the fuck is she thining - expecting you to do it?

Your mum is NBU. Get your washing done!

But it's pretty obvious I'll do it before I go to university! I'm going out with a friend in a minute and she's nearly crying saying she knows she'll end up doing it. Why can't she just ignore them?

And I can't take them upstairs out of her way because they are too heavy.

But it only takes a minute to shove them in the machine?? Get it done and earn some brownie points.

she's so old she has forgotten what it is like to be young and have important things to do - like seeing friends and sleeping.

what's the problem with a few plates anyway? there are probably plenty more in the dishwasher.

leave them - if she is so stressed about it then she can do it. if she doesn't then you can do it when you have time.

That's what I was thinking, Eccentrica.

Why don't you just get it done today?
Problem would then be solved.

AIBU to not quite believe this thread?

Ah, wait... My mother never, ever let me do my own laundry growing up as I 'didn't do it right'. It's either lights or darks with me, but she'll go weeks waiting to get a full load of 40 with two lines under... So I'd be there with stuff to do, but she wouldn't let me (seriously, she yelled at me if I tried!) but then complained when I then asked her to . And told me I'd never cope on my own. Even now, and I'm in my 30s and left home ages ago, my method of doing laundry is stil not acceptable.

Her house, her rules, yes, but your bedroom, your squalor . Just get it all done by the time you go.

Methinks that PutUponDaughter is really PutUponMother in disguise, demonstrating to her wayward youngster that no, not everyone thinks its reasonable to treat your home of origin as a hotel..

I don't think I'd have been caught dead on mumsnet as a carefree university student 21

Am I right? If so, do I get a prize.

And yes, of course it is unreasonable to expect to be allowed leave suitcases of unwashed clothes in the hallway so you can visit friends. On the other hand, PutUponMother should just fuck them out on the lawn, not end up doin them herself. She certainly shouldn't be crying about it!

You've "had" to see all your friends?

You've "needed" to sleep a lot?

You sound quite immature and rather lazy, tbh. I'm totally with you on the ironing front, but fgs, your mum has to do her own and your sister's washing in the normal way of things, she does not want or need your 2 suitcases-worth (which sounds like at least 3 loads) sitting in the machine til you deign to take it out. Why should it be at your convenience? As others have said, it's not your house.

If you let it sit in the machine it'll be creased to hell (so WILL need to be ironed - if you're after the no-ironing lifestyle you need to take it out once it's finished and perfect the 'flick' so that when it hangs up to dry the worst of the creases fall out) and will probably smell musty too.

And why can't you be arsed to take your mugs and glasses back downstairs and wash them? Or pick up after yourself?

I feel sorry for your mum, tbh.

Two suitcases full of festering knickers adds a certain ambience to a hallway, I find.

And the prize goes to arses!!!!!

Ooh so many typos I don't know where to start. Sorry

Oh... it's a wind up - that'll teach me to write long involved posts while the thread moves on

I win! I am so proud! As I said, out on the lawn!

You are the one being incredibly unreasonable!!!!

just go out and have fun - if she wants to do the bloody washing she can.