Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have reported my "friend" for benefit fraud

312 replies

buttercupp · 06/09/2010 13:27

ok so cant go into too much detail for obvious reasons but i have a friend (not know for long but lives near me) and i have been debating for a while now whether to report her or not for living with her partner who is also claiming as living alone.

so today i have done it finally after being fed up of hearing what other electrical applicance they have bought with the stupid amount of money they have been given when my DH is out at work slogging his guts out just to make ends meet.

The reason i havent done it before is like i say she is supposed to be my friend,we have had nights out together and she has a baby so have felt a bit bad in that respect too but i knew i had to do the right thing.
would i be a hypocrite to continue to be her friend or should i avoid her from now on? i do like the girl just dont agree with what she was doing.and anyone know what will happen now i have reported her?

OP posts:
nattiecake · 07/09/2010 09:37

expat, he probably has his own council flat that hes not living in, and gets all of his post sent there.

i have an EX friend who was doing this. single mum whos boyfriend moved in, while he had a 3 bed house round the corner (council) cause he also had joint custody of his other kids.

she carried on claiming as a single mum. getting free milk for her son and feeding him chicken nuggets and smiley faces for every meal while she went out twice a week and smoked like a trooper. with a flatscreen tv.

in the end i had to distance myself from her. she was a BAD EGG. (i could go on, but wont :))

ps, i didnt report her, but someone else did while we were still friends

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 09:37

I'm so bored of the bloody Big tv debate ..its frankly ridiculous and obviously mentioned by the op to cause a shit storm ....worked though Wink

alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 09:52

Yup and I am sick to death of witnessing severe neglect and malnutrition of children because their parents choose to commit benefit fraud to fund their lavish lifestyle and social activities, completely ignoring the welfare of their own children.

Lavish electrical items and weekly trips to cinema and pub, or food, clothing and protection for your children? Not a difficult choice for most is it?

boiledegg1 · 07/09/2010 09:56

alwaysleftout, I agree, and sorry to hear about your circumstances :(

It's about some peoples' sense of entitlement, maybe to do with their lack of resourcefulness as well. We spent almost a year on benefits and whilst it a difficult life, the basics were paid for and the children did not suffer. It never occurred to us to cheat the system or to expect any luxuries.

This thread is a real eye opener and I am now more inclined to report people in future.

GypsyMoth · 07/09/2010 10:02

so you're only reporting because you dont agree with how they spend it??

tethersend · 07/09/2010 10:03

"Yup and I am sick to death of witnessing severe neglect and malnutrition of children because their parents choose to commit benefit fraud to fund their lavish lifestyle and social activities, completely ignoring the welfare of their own children."

If you suspect neglect, call social services- not the benefit fraud hotline Hmm

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 10:04

Its unbelievable that you are a social worker really ..

tartyhighheels · 07/09/2010 10:06

You are mean and truly not in a position to judge how they spend their money. Enjoy your moral high ground.

tethersend · 07/09/2010 10:06

Take me with you, usual... please

noddyholder · 07/09/2010 10:06

Big tv analogy becoming tired tbh.Most people have them and they are not a measuring stick for child neglect Do something positive and approach the poor woman don't get her further into the * If her child is truly neglected inform SS

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 10:11

Step away tethers ..I'm going to find a how often do you change your sheets thread to play on

emmyloulou · 07/09/2010 10:12

Always I have to agree and the bleeding hearts on here have annoyed me some what. I went from being to a single mum, to meeting my DH and at the time his pay was awful I tell you and we were actually worse off as a couple.

We lived I had 2 kids who came out unharmed, they had everything they needed, and never ever looked scruffy, always well fed etc. We just didn't have big tv's, phone contracts, sky, xboxs etc.

Now we are fianacially great as he has built his career, so the kids get spoilt a bit, but they don't need any of it, they are still fed well, dressed well which is first priority as ever.

The reason I reported my best friend at the time was because of that sense of entitlment. Her and her bf were just starting out and I knew how hard it was, so much so she was offered a job on a plate a well paid one too, but then it emerged she had no intention on declaring her OH and expected 2 people to accept a false application on her living circumstances to get her clearance to work.

Obviously this request was turned down and the whole hissy fit, and sense of entitlemnt that followed showed her up, it seemed to be screw the fact she wanted 2 other people to risk their jobs as she felt she should be able to keep claiming.

So I reported her as not once was it about the kids, it was I can't afford this or that, luxuries really which she would of had more than enough for if she took the job.........

All the bleeding hearts are totally hypocritical, if their "friends" hacked their online account and nicked cash off them I bet a high % would infact call the police and report it, yet benefit fraud which is exactly the same, stealing off tax payers and genuine claiments is something to be ignored, Hmm nothing as queer as folk.

boiledegg1 · 07/09/2010 10:15

The OP has already reported her noddy.

alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 10:21

Noddy I don't think the OP was concerned about the welfare of the child in this instance. BUT come and work with me for the day - you may gain some insight as to how many children are neglected and underfed yet their parents have all the modern technology, and what is becoming more and more apparent is benefit fraud is common amongst these "families".

noddyholder · 07/09/2010 10:31

My mum is a SW in a heavily depried area in central london so am not unaware

JodiesMummy · 07/09/2010 10:37

Why is everyone having a go at OP for reporting? Benefit fraud costs ALL of us dear. Why are some people above working for a living or being honest in their claims???

MoreSpamThanGlam · 07/09/2010 10:38

If my friend hacked into my account I would most definitely report her and tell her to her face and no longer be friends.

Not hide behind a computer. I would be upfront about how I felt.

Its not the fact that she is reporting this woman, its the fact that she thinks she can remain friends. That double standard makes me laugh. Its alright for her to have it both ways morally but not the woman she is grassing on? WTF?

alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 10:40

Oh well then Noddy you should have a good insight into how other people live so I can't understand your willingness to allow people to cheat the system - unless you are doing it yourself of course?

Can't stay around here chatting I have to get ready for work so I can help support the scum of this country.

Or should I forget work and make a living by committing benefit fraud? Mmmmm big decision!

Usual - I couldn't give a flying fig what you think TBH. You are bviously not educated enough to recognise that benefit fraud is a criminal offence no matter how you butter it up.

Catch you all later.

JodiesMummy · 07/09/2010 10:40

If I had an aquaintance who was fiddling the system - I wouldnt WANT to be their friend. Me and my DP are not working every hour of the day to pay for their lazy-ass lifestyles and dishonest attitudes. I would give her the heave-ho AND admit I had shopped her.

It is double standards to remain friends and not tell her.

mrsruffallo · 07/09/2010 10:42

YANBU
It's not the same as petty theft, such as stealing a paperclip, as the money is coming from out taxes.
I cant believe that anyone could consider what teh OP did was wrong.
Benefits are noe there as a lifestyle choice, or a way to get your rent paid so you can spend your wage on more desirable items

I find some of the attitudes on here deporable

Well done , OP it takes a lot of guts to reprt such people and if we all acted on such information the benefits system/NHS wouldn't be in such a crisis

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 10:44

alwaysleftout I thought I recognised you Wink

noddyholder · 07/09/2010 10:45

How bloody rude

GabbyLoggon · 07/09/2010 10:48

the benefit system is complex. you would need to be an expert to even know who was cheating. A lot of people who complain dont know the complexityof the system Leave it to the people who are paid to do the snooping. The tax system is even more complex.

JodiesMummy · 07/09/2010 10:49

So that makes it OK does it Gabby? People being afraid of systems which are complicated is exactly how benefit cheats hide. And get away with it.

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 10:49

It was the scum remark that gave him away ...troll