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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have reported my "friend" for benefit fraud

312 replies

buttercupp · 06/09/2010 13:27

ok so cant go into too much detail for obvious reasons but i have a friend (not know for long but lives near me) and i have been debating for a while now whether to report her or not for living with her partner who is also claiming as living alone.

so today i have done it finally after being fed up of hearing what other electrical applicance they have bought with the stupid amount of money they have been given when my DH is out at work slogging his guts out just to make ends meet.

The reason i havent done it before is like i say she is supposed to be my friend,we have had nights out together and she has a baby so have felt a bit bad in that respect too but i knew i had to do the right thing.
would i be a hypocrite to continue to be her friend or should i avoid her from now on? i do like the girl just dont agree with what she was doing.and anyone know what will happen now i have reported her?

OP posts:
alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 00:14

Ha! You cn't compare the 1940's with 2010. Nobody had anything in the 1940's unless you worked to earn it!

The Government then did not give hand outs willy nilly.

Lets be fucking realistic - save your tears - if her washing machine breaks down she can go cap in hand to social security, as I am sure she does anyway. You said yourself that if people are on benefits they are usually ripping the system off.

And there is no need for children to have scruffy clothes and worn out shoes. That is what benefits are paid for. If your friends child has nothing then maybe your friend ought to get her priorities right!

boiledegg1 · 07/09/2010 00:45

Living on benefits is hard but its no excuse to cheat the system.

alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 01:04

If I thought a friend of mine was committing benefit fraud I would happily give up the friendship and report her.

It would be nothing at all about jealousy. Why the fuck would I be jealous of someone who is thick enough to think its ok to commit benefit fraud and get away with it??

I would report her because she would be committing a criminal offence

Quenbioz · 07/09/2010 01:09

YANBU

anonymosity · 07/09/2010 01:12

You didn't report her earlier because the fact they were cheating didn't bother you until you compared your life without new electrical goods to hers.

Goodness. How sad your life must be.

morgan55 · 07/09/2010 01:14

i think you 100% the right thing, i would've reported her. i can't believe there are people on here having a go at you?!

gtamom · 07/09/2010 01:37

You should have told her first. Even if you sent an anonymous letter" to say she was being watched, and people have seen the tv arriving and that this would be investigated. I know those letters are awful, but you would have given her the chance to do the right thing.

emmyloulou · 07/09/2010 08:05

I had some pre conceived ideas about MN, posters who are sympathisers to criminals and fraud was not one of them!

You can see from this thread what a huge issue it is, as more than I'd think seem to condone it.......Don't bitch and moan anout your taxes going up, and your benefits going down if you wouldn't report fraud, you are paying for it!

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 08:49

I never bitch and moan about my taxes going up ,and someone shoot me if I ever utter the words 'I don't pay my Taxes'

clemetteattlee · 07/09/2010 08:52

alwaysleftout, does your venom extend to those who are on benefits because they are profoundly disabled, or single mums living in crappy housing having escaped domestic violence, or young people who have been spat out by the care system with no qualifications or preparation for work? Or does your self righteousness count these as "scroungers" too.
Some experience of seeing people trapped in poverty may make you a more empathetic and tolerant person - do you want to come to work with me for a day?

On another note, why should a young mum on benefits lose her benefits if she starts a new relationship?

usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 08:54

alwaysleftout ..ever thought about writing for the Daily Fail?

expatinscotland · 07/09/2010 08:57

'On another note, why should a young mum on benefits lose her benefits if she starts a new relationship?'

She can. She just can't live with him or have him move in without reporting it.

And titty, if that child's in such a miserable state the parent is not budgeting/managing her money well. Direct her to a welfare advisor so she can learn to budget properly and get help with any debts she has.

noddyholder · 07/09/2010 08:57

I think we all know benefit fraud is wrong but this thread is about whether or not it is up to us to police the system!We pay enough taxes etc for the police and tax offices and various other quangos to do their own dirty work.What is wrong with suggesting to your friend that this could end in tears giving her a chance to sort herself out rather than going in all guns blazing prepared to send a young mother to court over a bloody tv!

expatinscotland · 07/09/2010 09:01

'Ok, this is what I don't understand. He is living with her and they are both claiming benefits, so why isn't his address flagged up as being the same as her address?'

He's using another address, maybe a friend's or relative's, to claim and living with the girlfriend.

It's a common form of benefit fraud.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 07/09/2010 09:04

Excellent post Noddy

expatinscotland · 07/09/2010 09:06

The benefits system needs an overhaul pretty big time.

But it probably won't happen very well with the Tories in control.

alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 09:07

I have absolutely no objection to the benefits system for people who are GENUINE claimants. Lots of people fall on hard times and need a helping hand for a short time.

What I do object to is people who choose benefits as a lifestyle and even worse people who are not content with being provided with food and shelter but abuse the system through greed ie benefit fraud

I was on benefits, with three children to support, for a year when my husband was killed in a traffic accident.

When the Government introduced help with childcare I found myself a job to support my family. My take home pay was no more than what I was receiving in benefits so people who allow their children to be hungry and shabbily clothed cannot blame the amount of benefit they receive.

Clemet I am a social worker - how much deprivation would you like me to witness in order for me to accept benefit fraud????

Original poster
buttercupp · 07/09/2010 09:19

no i didnt report them before because i felt for the child involved actually...then it became blindingly obvious that the child is still going without while they provide themselves with copious amounts of shoes and electrical goods.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 07/09/2010 09:21

Well the child will sure go without now buttercupp

noddyholder · 07/09/2010 09:24

It is not up to you to define go without!

GypsyMoth · 07/09/2010 09:25

'people have seen the tv arriving and you'll be investigated'

HELLO!!!!!! hate to burst your little bubble....BUT ...benefit claimants can still BUY A BRAND NEW TV!!!!!

most bloody uninformed,stupid thing i have read on here!!! jesus!!

alwaysleftout · 07/09/2010 09:27

Why is that usualsuspect? Children do not NEED televisions and state of the art electrical systems. They need love, attention and stability from their parents. They are already being provided with adequate money for food, clothing and shelter.

What their parents do with that money is the parents decision - nothing at all to do with the amount of benefits they are receiving.

Original poster
buttercupp · 07/09/2010 09:27

well if the child was before it will make no difference to him.
tvs and xboxes etc surely arent making a better quality of life for this child? or am i missing something

OP posts:
StrictlyTory · 07/09/2010 09:27

Ummmm I don't get why the OP is being blamed... she didn't commit fraud did she?!

The child would go without if the parents murdered someone and went to prison but we don't turn a blind eye to that do we Hmm

I don't see why so many people are happy to let others take the total mickey and steal from the rest of us. The money comes from somewhere you know, it's called TAX. More fraud = higher taxes.

emmyloulou · 07/09/2010 09:35

I don't get the whole, it's not our job to police the system rubbish.

Fact is chances of you being caught/prosecuted for benefit fraud are quite slim unless you have already aroused suspicion be it raising a red flag on the system or being reported.

Is it not the same with most crime though? Most would probably go unreported/punished if people did not come forward as witnesses. This is the same.

The worst thing about it all is people here are saying what about the kids, what about the poor claiments, it's people like this who make it 100x harder for genuine claiments and are The Daily Mails wet dream.

Report the lot, make it easier for the genuine, plenty of "poor" people as the word is being used, and plenty of benefit claiments claim do so without resorting to crime.

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