To get annoyed that a middle class life style is not "real life"?

[Roseflower]

I don't get- why is trying to move to a nice, safe and quiet area with a good school not "real life" as some people like to tell me?

How is this any less "real" that living in a crime ridden, ugly area with an unsafe school?

Seems its only real life if your let your child actually live in the middle of all sorts...

Does anyone else get this attitude sometimes?

There are down sides to living in a rural idyll.

We are 1.5hrs from the nearest motorway, we don't even have dual carriageways. So it takes an age to get anywhere.

I wish we lived closer to decent city museums and art galleries etc, of course we visit local ones but its not quite the same.

Fortunately the internet has made life far simpler for shopping as it is a 120 mile/3 hour round trip to M&S etc. But before internet shopping that was a real pain.

The downsides however do not outweigh the benefits. I lived in Balsall Heath in Birmingham as a student, and would personally hate to bring up children in an area like that.

But each to their own!

You would personally hate it but I assuming you would have a choice NOT to do that?

I have the choice not to, I exercise my choice. I don't however assume that everyone has that choice.

PawMum, the answer is yes and no, imo.

I know various professionals (my dad, a career adviser and my friend, a teacher of disadvantaged teenagers etc) who spend their entire working lives trying to set up opportunities for ghettoised kids to see more of their city and to take up jobs, housing, leisure etc outside the scheme.

But for many of them, it's a case of taking them to water but not making them drink it. If they have been conditioned by a lifetime of prejudice/ fear about anything outside the scheme then you're often wasting your time, unless the kid is a true self starter.

Loads of people do leave their 'humble beginnings' etc, we all know people who have done that. But in the worst pockets of deprivation I'd be wary of expecting much change. No matter how deprived these kids are, it's what they know. And what they know is usually so much more appealing than what they don't know - as it is often for all of us.

Well as long as you're happy and your friends don't find it too wearing that's fine isn't it?

Surely most people have the choice of where they live?

You can be unemployed or on a low wage anywhere in the country. Even rural idylls have LA/HA housing nearby.

A poor advert for private education IMO

Can't say I think use of the f word is a sign of a poor education myself, and good luck telling others on other threads here that it is. It's common MN parlance.

I was brought up in a working class (and single parent) family, except that my dad had a professional job (he went into training for it at 16). Our town was divided very much into working class and drs-and-solicitors-and-the-odd-bed-and-breakfast-owner-from-England. I never fitted in with either, really.

I have lost track of all the "differences" that were pointed out to me almost daily: central heating! piano lessons! A toaster! On one occasion, a fucking new tin opener was seized upon by a friend as evidence that we were above our station.

I got it in the neck at home too, the second I went off to university. Fair enough, I probably did come back being a bit twatty, as many an 18 year old will, but it continues to this day. My dad never fails to point out that ds pronounces 'garage' like a ponce.

I don't care who has what and who does what, I don't judge by possessions either way, but I tell you, it is WEARING to live like you can't talk about a book you've read for fear that people think you're up yourself. It makes life fucking dull. That is one reality of keeping it real.

Demolished in your argument so now you pretend not to care! Very bright.

@MorrisZapp Nothing wrong with the F word per se. Its' just that I happen to object to the suggestion that it is preferable to use such language over more considered vocabular.y

Oh god I totally agree prune.

I live in a famously 'posh' part of Edinburgh (Morningside), albeit in a two bed flat upstairs from radges, and I wish I had a pound for every time I was met with an 'Oooooooh! MORNingSIIIIIIDE' from people who have asked me where I live.

Am I supposed to apologise or something? It can be maddening. It's a street name, not a fecking superiority syndrome.

Oooh - I've never heard that here - the only thing I can think of is when my mil criticises my upbringing which is middle class.

But I've never heard this real life stuff. Odd.

And its a little wearing when people assume WC people don't read books,or go blackberry picking or give a shit about their kids education etc etc Works both ways really

We used to live in a gorgeous leafy London suburb. We moved when DS was 8 months as we could only afford a flat there. We now live in a virtually crime free, rural village with an excellent local primary within walking distance. Dream house etc, nice neighbours blah.

I had real difficulty adjusting to it though. I really miss the racial and social mix and do worry that the DC are getting a very one dimensional social experience, at school at least. I wouldn't say what they are experiencing here isn't real, but it isn't a holistic experience in keeping with the mix of society in this country either.

I went to boarding school for a while as a tween/teen and remember when I was pulled out to attend the local comp being absolutely terrified of people I thought would absolutely hate me as I'd never met anyone like them before. Ridiculous of course but I had been so sheltered it made me scared.

In four generations my family went from being born in the Workhouse to a Cambridge graduate. So "class" is a very changeable thing.

Has this turned into a bun fight or is it rather a fairy cake fight?

MorrisGapp I completely agree with

"Loads of people do leave their 'humble beginnings' etc, we all know people who have done that. But in the worst pockets of deprivation I'd be wary of expecting much change. No matter how deprived these kids are, it's what they know. And what they know is usually so much more appealing than what they don't know - as it is often for all of us"

So good it needed quoting again :)

Ha MorrisZapp I just get sympathy when I tell people which part of Edinburgh I live in... (though it is perfectly fine!)

(I quite often take the bus to Morningside to get Padron peppers from Waitrose. OUT and PROUD.)

It is a tiny bit like watching a fight break out on a WI cake stall.

Asdashopper: the blackberry picking comment was in reference to rural living rather than class. I would fully agree that people without a PhD are perfectly capable of picking blackberries...

{biscuit}