To get annoyed that a middle class life style is not "real life"?

[Roseflower]

I don't get- why is trying to move to a nice, safe and quiet area with a good school not "real life" as some people like to tell me?

How is this any less "real" that living in a crime ridden, ugly area with an unsafe school?

Seems its only real life if your let your child actually live in the middle of all sorts...

Does anyone else get this attitude sometimes?

Riven of course I don't mean that! I criminal activity, street gangs, antisocial behavour etc

beware of the pampas grass [grass]

or

RF, I have asked myself this question many times. My kids are in independent schools and they don't mix with 'real children', and probably aren't 'real' themselves.

Funny, if you poke them, they react!

amidaiwish - Even in London there aren't many £1 Million houses in 'dodgy' areas. Unless they are about 20 beds or something. Which area of London?

Do they live in your (not nice) area? If so perhaps they are offended by you saying it's not nice, and want to defend it by saying "at least it's real".

Or perhaps they are trying to make you feel better about where you currently live by saying "at least it's real".

It's a bit like larger ladies saying they are "real women". See recent thread on this. It's basically a defensive comment.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to live in an area with low crime, well behaved neighbours and nicely kept housing. Surely these are things everyone wants?

Bonsoir would you really want more crime and uglier housing in your neighbourhood, just so that it was less "dull"?

Area's where everyone's the same can get a bit dull. Area's that are 'edgy' can end up being bloody hard work. Medium is best.

I don't think avoiding crime and ugly housing is the sole perogative of the smug middle classes.

You can get areas that aren't homogenous and are still nice.

My council estate is nice

Oh, I think there's loads of million pound London houses in dodgy areas. I can think of ones in Hackney, Camberwell and Mile End.

If you can afford to live in area with low crime and good schools then why the hell wouldn't you?

get pretty fed up with assumptions (everywhere) that if you don't live near a 'fantastic' school in a (only) middle class area - you somehow don't give a stuff about your child's education

i think you're probably meeting those sorts

Theres plenty of them about ,sea

hester - those area's aren't granular enough. Lot's of Hackney isn't dodgy. Camberwell and Mile End I don't know about.

I can almost understand this.

We moved to a middle-class suburb of Cheltenham and the people here are:
a) snobs
b) money-mad/status symbol mad (everyone drives new Audis and are obsessed with home improvements. I've never seen so many cleaners and gardeners parked outside people's houses as I have 'round here)
c) Daily Mail readers
d) homophobic (several people have commented that a gay couple nearly bought our house, so what a relief that it was us)
e) racist (conversation with lots of locals at a play group about what happens if LOs go out with a black man/woman in the future. Also comments like "we need more Christianity in schools. The muslims have their little mosques or whatever they are, everywhere" - this is as an accurate quote as I can remember! BTW, EVERYONE around here is white and they all seem keen on the church.

Their lives also revolve around such a small geographic and social circle.

I've lived many other parts of the country, including London, and have found people to be a lot more worldly-wise and open-minded in perhaps less affluent areas of cities.

Don't know this is all relevant though!

BTW, I was never the victim of crime in York, Durham, Bradford, N. Wales or London, but have had my car and house broken into here!

Nancy66 - Maybe the commutes too long. Maybe it means sacraficing other things. Maybe it is away from family. Loads of reasons basically.

btw, I had enough 'real' to last me a lifetime throughout my childhood and youth, and am very happy to now be in the serene suburbs.

Oh, and I'm thinking that some of the capital's richest people live in dodgy areas - like parts of Islington, Camden and Kings Cross. And you can get areas that aren't very wealthy but are much calmer and more pleasant - Forest Hill, for example.

Of course there's a correlation between poverty, immigration, crime etc - but that doesn't mean you're racist or a snob to yearn for a community that is a pleasant place to live. That's a majority aspiration, not just a middle class one.

I never want to live in a leafy suburb ..can think of nothing worse ...I like the multicultural area where I live ,thank you very much ..plus not everyone actually lives in London you know

But the rich people DON'T live in the dodgy bits. My first flat in London was on Caledonian Road opposite the Bemerton estate.

I'm glad I don't live there any more.

Just behind me was Barnsbury - one of the most expensive parts of Islington. The Bemerton is/was dodgy - Barnsbury isn't.

Bits of Camden are dodgy, bits aren't. Even some of Kings Cross is OK these days. Well, compared to 10 years ago.

Wanting to live somewhere decent certainly isn't a particularly middle class aspiration.

i find people use 'real' in strange ways. it used to annoy me a lot, but i've sort of got used to it.

i work in a university, and often get asked when i'll be getting a 'real' job. i just respond by looking surprised and innocently asking the person what do they mean by real?

I've lived in several sorts of area and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the very leafy, very affluent place I lived in was the nicest and has spoiled me for life.

Perhaps they can't see a way out of the area you describe, so are trying to put your aspirations down in an attempt to make themselves feel life isn't so bad or is better than it is.

All life is "real life".

Referring to areas as "dodgy" or "real life" is patronising to those who have no real option but to live there.