To get annoyed that a middle class life style is not "real life"?

[Roseflower]

I don't get- why is trying to move to a nice, safe and quiet area with a good school not "real life" as some people like to tell me?

How is this any less "real" that living in a crime ridden, ugly area with an unsafe school?

Seems its only real life if your let your child actually live in the middle of all sorts...

Does anyone else get this attitude sometimes?

What LeQueen said.

Another dig at the council estate dwellers,from the MN masses

Apparently MIL and FIL live in the Real World.

Where no-one s university educated, "we" don't like people who are gay, black or forrin, women never WOTH and must change their names upon marriage.

I prefer my fantasy world but sometimes leave it for MN.

Asdashopper - I don't think anyone is having a dig, just pointing out the fact that, surely, anybody who does live on a crime ridden estate would seize an opportunity to live somewhere nicer and safer if offered it.

Not all council estates are like shameless

Asdashopper - I'm not sure anyone HAS has a go at councils estates. I mentioned a specific one that WAS scary (I don't know if it was like Shameless though).

Maybe some people are just a bit jealous? (I am not saying everyone is) but sometimes it is incredibly difficult when you work hard but can see no way out of you 'shitty lifestyle' but see others have done it and do not have the stress of your life. I suppose alot of it is to do with having choices and unfortunately for a section of society that choice is never avalable.

Nothing wrong with living in suburbia if you want to livethere either. I wouldn't necessarily say that was a middle class though:o

Living a comfortable life in a nice area with goods schools and little crime is fine if you can manage it. Think the point is not to get too smug though - to remember you are lucky.

You can see it on here when you get threads about how someone is struggling to manage on only £60k or whatever - clearly some people fail to grasp that the average wage in this country is around £25k. The £60k person genuinely feels hard done by and doesn't realise actually they are far better off than 90% of the population.

Or threads where someone claims sending your kids to private school doesn't make you well off and most people could manage it if they made a few sacrifices, such as not going on foreign holidays. Someone on £25k is never going to be able to afford private education, however much they cut back...

maybe jealousy isn't the right word, maybe frustration is a better word.

I don't know how people afford private education on 50k if they have more than one child tbh, or even if they had one. though I suppose it is all relative

Money doesn't necessarily make you happy either. My parents were both from very poor families (Mums family were aspirational) but as I got older they started to get quite alot of money behind them, set up a business, moved to a big house, bigger car, more experiences, more holidays and travel. Were they happier? no, and they eventually had a really nice messy divorce. They were much happier in that small house striving to get by everyday with small children running around there feet. Soemtimes the things we strive for in a material sense will never make us happy but putting effort into your family, friends and community, wherever that may be will give youa satisfaction beyond anything material. Obviously this works in whatever community you live in.

round their feet obviously

@ Sleeping lion. I think you ought to read what I am saying again before you get on your high horse

I am not saying that middle class leafiness is not real - I am saying that it doesn't actually reflect reality.

We live in an extremely diverse world with huge numbers of religions, cultures, beliefs etc. (actually, socio-economic standing has far less to do with things than you guys make out)

The reason that I, personally feel that living in the city suburbs is better all round is that the neighborhood reflects such diversity far better than the footballers' wives' areas which are insular and small in comparison.

My kids go to school with kids from a vast variety of backgrounds, some rich, some poor, some English, Bangledeshi, Chinese......... some good families, some not so good....

But it is an excellent school and the kids all learn together on an equal footing. My kids have learned how diverse and multicultural society is from an early age. At their previous school they learned how to tell the difference between a Porsche and a Lexus and that the most important thing in life is that "I have the biggest Birthday party, the nicest clothes and the most toys"

Rose tinted spectacles

massivemammaries - I think you mean to say that middle class leafiness doesn't reflect your reality.

We each have our own experiences and it is pointing out the bleeding obvious (not to say downright rude) to point out that someone else's doesn't chime with our own.

FWIW, the last census showed that jusy 7.8% of the population are from a non-white background. When one considers that there are areas of London where this figure if over 50%, it follows that there are areas of the UK where it is considerably lower.

The love of 'diversity' may be something you feel is important for your children at school...but please understand and respect that there are vast swathes of the country where such considerations are wholly irrelevant.

just 7.9%, oops.

Is it that Porsches are pretty apart from the 4-door ones and Lexuseseses aren't?

BarmyArmy - They AREN'T wholly irrelevant. The people in those areas with no/few minorities still vote on issues that effect everyone in the country.

I think it's easy to overstate the effects of living in multi-cultural areas (I do - most of my friends here are stunningly similar to me in terms of background, class etc. ). But there is an effect of seeing people who are different racially, culturally or economically everyday that reminds you that they exist, have needs and are worthy of consideration. If you don't it easier (though not inevitable) to put them to the back of your mind and either not worry about what effects you might have on them, or to decide that your interests should take priority. Of course, living along all kinds of people, they can piss you right the fuck off sometimes.

Have to say that I live in an area quite opposite of middle-class leafiness and OFSTED-rated "outstanding" primary schools exist here too.

They tend to be the ones with a large percentage of pupils with EAL and more culturally diverse. It's a good thing.

TCNY - but surely we vote according to our own self-interest?

Our political institutions are the arenas in which these (perhaps) competing interests are discussed, measured, analysed and, ultimately, reconciled...to some degree or another.

It depends whether you vote in an alturistic manner or not surely?

Alot of people don't

PawMum - so do you vote altruistically?

I don't think there is anything wrong in us voting according to our own interests - and besides, we could debate altruism until the cows come home - one could argue that to vote to make oneself 'feel better' about the poor etc, is hardly a selfless act.

BarmyArmy - You might - I try and take a more holsitic view of what's best.

Even in the adverserial model, if politicians are to be able to carry voters along with them in the compromises that are inevitable, it is easier if those voters have some experience of them.

Some of the most racist parts of the country have the lowest rates of non-white population.

@Barmyarmy , Actually it isn't MY reality - it is the reality of life on earth and the more we can see of it, the better quite frankly. You are plainly happy living in your tiny box, where social standing is everything and life outside your box means nothing to you.

Fine if you are happy, but not my cup of tea

DH works with a guy who tells him often that he, "Wouldn't want his missus to 'have' to go ut to work, like yours does..." because she is his "princess and he looks after her and the kids".
When DH pointed out that, because his 'missus' does work, we can live in a slightly nicer area than we used to, and in a nicer house, as opposed to a rough estate like we used to, and like twat work-friend, the twat work friend told DH that at least he was "Keeping it real, and not forgetting his roots!". He said you couldn't drag him kicking and screaming off his estate, because at least he and his family were surrounded by "salt of the fuckin earth, REAL people.." and had not forgotten their roots, supposedly like DH has.

What the fuck does REAL people even mean?

massivemammaries - was that necessary?

Really??