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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What are the chances of taking son out of school in term time for our wedding next year?.

163 replies

costacoffee · 31/08/2010 08:59

We are planning to get married next year and want to take ds on our honeymoon/holiday after the wedding.

If we applied now do you think they would give us permission?. He is only 5 so I dont think its a problem,but worried as they can be funny about taking children out in term time.

OP posts:
PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 13:36

In Australia, many children do not start school until after their 5th birthday - DS2 didn't start until he was 5y4m.

He is not 5y11 months, reading chapter books and absolutely loving his play-base prep curriculum.

This leads me to believe there is some flexibility in early years education.

3Trees · 31/08/2010 13:37

They would be the same educational opportunities in holiday time, and tbh, for term time holidays when he is OVER 5 (he'll only be 4) IF we take them they will be more explicitly educational and not transferable to holiday times (example the Nepal hike we are doing when he is over 5 as they can only take groups at certain times).

it is also important to remember that for a child with ASD, as I am learning, the busiest time of year at a very busy place anyway would be PAINFULLY difficult.

ALSO, this particular holiday is for our wedding, which is on 10/10/10.

I am really not averse to term time holidays, but they would NOT be a fortnight lying on the beach - and with DS issues, we also do haev to bear in mind the social cost to him and will be taking this years holiday as a benchmark for where we would be if he did take a fornight out of compulsory school. BUT we also have to bear in mind the cost (in terms of his ability to enjoy a holiday) to him of taking a holiday at high season

diddl · 31/08/2010 13:39

Sorry, PadmeHum, I don´t know what you are trying to prove.

I merely pointed out that perhaps he is only well travelled as he has been taken out of school to do the travelling?

Many children could be well travelled if they were taken out of school for 7months.

alicet · 31/08/2010 13:40

onebadbaby I don't think any of us have said that education is more important than fun. But that is why there are many 13 weeks of school holidays, evenings and weekends. Those of us who are against taking children out of school without exceptional reasons are not against fun and holidays.

Just that the message it is giving your child (and they are very receptive even at this young age to developing values) that school isn't important and can be attended or not at will / depending on whether Mum and Dad can afford their preferred holiday etc etc isn't one I want to send to my boys.

The 2 aren't mutually exclusive.

PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 13:41

That's a silly argument diddl. My point is that he can only be well travelled because we took him out of school. I never said he should travel alone.

I am proud of the fact that by age 9 & 6 my boys have visited 16 countries - many of them 3rd world countries. They have seen and learned and smelled. They know that this earth is fickle, beautiful, unpredictable.

My heart swells when I look at the photos of DS2 in his carseat in the back of a tiny 6 seater plane - woolly cap on his head and the snowcapped glaciers of the New Zealand Alps so close you feel as if you could touch them.

It may seem like I am boasting. Perhaps I am, but it is only in an attempt to get my point across.

The world consists of more than a classroom. It truly does.

PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 13:46

Sorry OP we have totally hijacked your thread. I am pretty passionate on this subject, but it's another thread for another day.

Best of luck with your wedding. I hope it is a wonderful day and that you enjoy it together as a family :-)

alicet · 31/08/2010 13:46

Oh and 3trees I think your reasons for wanting to take your child out of school (like a lady on a previous thread whose son had autism and wasn't comfortable in busy hectic situations) is actually much more understandable.

FWIW I would take a child out of preschool too for a holiday. No different to taking my sons out of private nursery I don't think.

I am not against taking time out during school ever for any reason. But I think if you can control the timing of holidays (and many of the people on this thread including the OP can and are talking about expense) then these should be in the school holidays.

diddl · 31/08/2010 13:54

PadmeHun-why do you keep talking about him travelling alone?

"My point is that he can only be well travelled because we took him out of school."

Which is exactly what I was saying.

But you are being so superior imo.

Some of us mange to travel & keep our children in school during term time.

PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 14:09

Apples and oranges Diddl.

I am not in any way superior. In fact I am quite a low-key person. As mentioned in my first post on the matter, I am quite mainstream when it comes to parenting and rarely fundamentally disagree with anybody. This is a subject which I am quite passionate about though (you'd never have guessed Wink).

I respect your way of doing things, I don't agree with it but I am open minded enough to accept that everybody does their own thing anyways.

diddl · 31/08/2010 14:10

manage, of courseBlush

diddl · 31/08/2010 14:11

OK, it seemed to me as if you "look down" a little on people who have´t travelled so much as you.

diddl · 31/08/2010 14:12

Oh my spelling-I give up.

diddl · 31/08/2010 14:13

Costacoffee

Hope all goes well, whatever you decide.

boiledegg1 · 31/08/2010 14:15

Good for you Costa, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding :)

Despite my visionary irresponsible parents taking us out of school so much, I did well academically as did my siblings. Yes, my parent's flagrant disregard of the 'rules' did have an influence but a positive one. Yes I do question rules and push back on them sometimes as an adult, infact as a company director I make some of the rules! but I have a really strong work ethic and I am very committed to my employees and family. It certainly hasn't taught me to be a slacker.

I would love to take 6 months out and take my children out to see the world. I think it is a fantastic thing to do if you have the confidence and the means to do it. Formal education is important, yes teachers generally do a great job and I couldn't be where I am today without formal qualifications, but it isn't the be all and end all.

PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 14:17

Sorry you felt that way Diddl. I adore travelling, in particular with the children, so when I see people dissing it in favour of a rigid stick to term time at the exclusion of all else ethos, I become a bit bemused.

That's not to say I think you do this, it's just the thread in general.

everythingiseverything · 31/08/2010 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 31/08/2010 14:22

Well to be fair, there is travelling & there are I suppose what could be called holidays that it would be hard to get much educational value from!

Here the children don´t start school until 6 so there has been more scope for us than if we had been in UK.

PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 14:26

Everything - the home ed on our trip was a disaster. I am not cut out to be a teacher - DS and I clashed like mad. I take my hat of to teachers and parents who home school for their unfailing patience. Something, I sadly lack.

Having said that, he learned by osmosis and about things kids of his age wouldn't ordinarily wouldn't be exposed to. It was a great result for us, but I accept it wouldn't be everybody elses cup of tea.

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 31/08/2010 14:36

All the earnest hand wringing debate on this thread, over one persons decision to contemplate taking their 5 yo out of school for a few days is frankly bizarre.

I think children should attend school and be punctual etc but it is not the end of the world if young children (under 7) miss a week or so for a family holiday. Older than that needs proper consideration but I don't think school is the be all and end all - home ed if done well can be very fulfilling for a child and the experiences a child can have outside the school environment have the potential to be very valuable to their education.

We are planning to take ds (6) and dd(4) out of school one day this term for a trip we do not plan to make a habit of it but do not think they will be missing out and wil have an enjoyable and hopefully enriching tripwith their parents. Just cal me a terrible mother...

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 31/08/2010 14:37

Few of us are in a position to remove our DCs from school for months on end to travel - I imagine that's the main reason why few of us actually do it. It has bugger all to do with being staid. We know there's more to education than the classroom ffs! Just as it takes more than travel alone, as anyone who has endured a conversation where some twat recalls how they effectively ripped off some poor street trader but wants us to be in awe of thelr expertise, to develop wisdom, tolerance and understanding.

And as ski has mentioned already, there is a world of difference between travelling (or simply speding time in a new place abroad - which I actually think can be more enlightening than whistle stop tours of a continents highlights) for months and two weeks in Magaluf every year.

As for the OP, it wouldn't occur to me to arrange a holiday in term time. Unless it was absolutely a once in a lifetime event. Which I suppose your wedding is. I'm sitting firmly on the fence.

BonniePrinceBilly · 31/08/2010 14:41

He's 5 FFS, what is he going to miss? Will he never be able to add 2+2? Will he not know how to copy a row of C's?

Christ on a bike, some of you people have rods up your arses!

PadmeHum · 31/08/2010 14:42

Jenai - that's quite a bitchy post.

Not sure if I've ripped any poor street traders or conducted any whistle stop tours of continents.

?

diddl · 31/08/2010 14:57

Padme I think you are taking things too personally-no one said you ripped anyone off!

But I agree with Jenai-we´re not talking here about travelling for months which I think few people have the opportunity to do.

I think many of us who take term time seriously might be swayed by the chance of that.

Lougle · 31/08/2010 14:59

I am pretty sure I'll be taking DD1 out of school next year. Fortunately, at her school induction presentation, the head said that they fully support it. She will be attending a special school, and they fully understand that for lots of children with SN, the holiday periods are stressful.

We intend to take her to France to visit her Grandparents, which will be special. Her siblings are not of school age yet, and not only will it be cheaper, but it will be quieter to take her out of holiday time.

Remotew · 31/08/2010 15:00

I would say that in the 5 yrs DD has been at secondary school she had about 6 weeks off for holidays, 1 of those weeks was a cadet, adventure weeks but the rest were holidays with some culture thrown in. Pyramids, museums etc. Didn't do her education any harm.

It is better to arrange to go away in the school holidays and I managed to afford this once or twice, but other times I couldn't afford to pay the inflated prices they charge so it was either take her out or don't go.