What are the chances of taking son out of school in term time for our wedding next year?.

[costacoffee]

We are planning to get married next year and want to take ds on our honeymoon/holiday after the wedding.

If we applied now do you think they would give us permission?. He is only 5 so I dont think its a problem,but worried as they can be funny about taking children out in term time.

The thing that really annoys me about taking kids out of school is nobody ever considers that it costs teachers and their families EXACTLY the same to go on holiday during the school holiday. And can the teacher just swan off for 2 weeks in the middle of term time? No, teachers have to lump it.

Yes there are circumstances where holidays during term time are inevitable. And missing the last or first day of term is not really a big deal. But taking kids out just so you can afford a nicer holiday is ridiculous.

My job, my business, food on the table and in their stomachs. So yes, I need to be around for it or I don't get any income for a month.

But maybe family time isn't as important as rote learning for a week.

My dcs go a small village school that is massively oversubscribed, rated as 'outstanding' and in the top 10 for SATs in the county. But that wouldn't be good enough for you?

(actually I find it too pushy, but that's another story...)

I´m also with alicet, skidoodly & Sandstorm

Strangely, if we can´t afford a holiday in the school holidays-we don´t go!

I think going on your parents honeymoon is a shit reason to miss school tbh.

Of course, before 5 is OK isn´t it as they don´t legally have to attend school until then?

Interesting, Muser, our school doesn't like people taking dcs out during the first week of term at all.

Ragwort, the whole last week is like that at our dc's school, they go to the village park, watch dvds and play outside. No real work and no homework. Which is good in one way, but I do wonder why they bother having them in sometimes.

I am taking my son out of school this year for two weeks for our wedding / "familymoon"

Luckily, he is not in compulsory education yet,(he'll be nearly4) but if he were, then i would still be taking him out.

I totally believe that he will learn a LOT on this trip - even though it is to Diosney worls (yes, we are getting married there too) I am happy to spend time with him, so he can learn useful social concepts like a wedding, and guests, and social behaviours etc. Also, he will learn about air travel and currency. We will spend time in the world showcase too. He also has to learn such things as "DO NOT put your hand into bushes / plant life if you can't clearly see where it will end up, as there is a good possibility of snakes". He will also see much indiginous, and otherwise, wildlife.

he also has ASD, and the time will in invaluable in learning to manage (for him and us) his hypersensitivities, and his other issues, in an intense environment.

As long as there are genuine educational advantages I have no problem in tkaing my child out of school to make a family trip.

of course, if, due to his issues, (or for any other reason) he struggles with this on his return, then I would be much less likely to do it again.

I would, however, be happy to put in time to help him not fall behind becasue of it.

We are hoping to get married on Saturday 21st May 2011,then with permission 1 week off, with the 2nd week as half term.

I have a very good reason for this date and its to do with my granddad passing away at this time when I was younger,I used to live with him, so he meant a great deal to me,he never met my dp sadly as I met him one year later around the Spring bank holiday in May.

Im honouring his memory on this date becuase he passed away and I met my dp.

I also respect the school system very much, and my ds is always there and has an excellent attendance record thank you,but I dont think its going to turn him into a traunt,he's 5 years old.

well if the school is just "rote learning", as you claim, then no, it wouldn't be good enough for me.

I think it's just as important for a child to be at school as it is for their parents to be at work.

That is their business. It's their thing, their responsiblity, their commitment.

Making them miss it because otherwise you lose it is incredibly childish.

As for all this guff about how much they'll learn on these holidays - I'd like to know how it is that holidays in term time are so much more educational than their school-holiday counterparts?

also, PMSL at "fun" being educational when your parents make you miss school, but a complete waste of time when done with your friends as part of school.

I'm sure your kids are delighted to miss all the fun stuff at the end of term, kids really hate that stuff and all the bonding with their friends. Missing it will have no possible implications at all.

Although I do take my DS out occasionally as explained above, I also think it is a load of rubbish to say holidays are 'educational' - yes, you might speak a few words of a foreign language and eat something a bit different (although most holiday resorts seem to serve the same old thing) - I think an awful lot of parents are using the 'holidays are educational' as a way of avoiding the guilt about taking children out of school.

We shall have a great three weeks in the US later this year, but its stretching the point to say it is 'educational' - its just a holiday! Things like social skills etc are learned all the time ie: at weekends !

Not me that loses - we lose. Or do you not think our dc should have a holiday with their parents - and each other?

I don't think a 5 yr old needs the discipline of work just yet.

Schools are made to rote learn. Unless you are going to a fee paying school (and probably one that is very free such as Steiner) there is very little option when it comes to the implementation of the Literacy hour and the Numeracy hour, however hard schools and teachers try. If you haven't come across this yet you are in for a shock.

Costa, congratulations, I hope you have a lovely time.

I don't feel guilty, Ragwort, I couldn't care if it wasn't so long as we get time together. But it is educational which is a bonus.

I never take my kids out of school at the end of term even though sending them in is a waste of time. We always go mid-term.

"clearly holidays are more important than literacy and numeracy" - well yes they are at 5 years old.

spiritmum the Literacy and Numeracy hours are long dead.

Can you please tell our dc's teachers that then because it's how they teach!

I have to admit that ds' school (which had an excellent HMI report) has always been happy (even they can't officially say so) about us taking ds out of school for a couple of days to go skiing (Scottish state school don't get a full week in February).

We've asked in the past what extra work we should do with him and they have said "Don't be silly - he'll be learning far more while he is away".

He is 10 next, so in P6 (Y5) and we have done it every year since P1. We'll probably stop once he goes to secondary school and he'll just have to cope with spring skiing in April (when at least he'll be good enough to cope with the high runs and longer distances to get to decent snow).

It helps though that we have an excellent realtionship with the school and that they know that we are really committed to both his education and the school.

We took our DS out of school for 7 months to travel around the world.

We didn't even think about asking. He was five not fifteen.

TBH, I am surprised you are even giving this any thought at all!

Don't most children learn how to read and write and do sums at 5?

Surely that's the time in their lives when it's most important, rather that least?

"Schools are made to rote learn. Unless you are going to a fee paying school (and probably one that is very free such as Steiner) there is very little option when it comes to the implementation of the Literacy hour and the Numeracy hour, however hard schools and teachers try. If you haven't come across this yet you are in for a shock."

I certainly would never describe my DCs primary as Rote learning, although as it never did the Literacy of Numeracy strategy (it was a high achieving school which could opt out). It has got a little more formal recently which I object to, but definitely not rote learning.

Do you HE? A HE friend used to tell me all schools were pressurized and into rote learning, but now her kids are at school I suppose she has changed her mind. Other HE friends btw chose that route for different reasons and could appreciate my point of view.

In the past, class teachers were delighted if they arrived to find a few pupils missing, especially the naughty ones. It kept the class sizes down a little from the unmanageable thirty-something to high twenties. Now they have 'targets' for attendance, so they have to huff and puff a lot about how every single minute spent in a school is a valuable educational moment. I don't believe that, and I don't believe if those attendance targets are swept away, that the world will be awash with illiterate British children who spent all year on holiday. The irony is of course that the parents who toe the line with attendance, and fret and worry about having a few days off (for their OWN wedding, for god's sake), aren't the focus of all these rules. It's the parents who don't give a shit about targets, and attendance, and rules, and do you know what, they still take them out all the time anyway!

We will also be taking both DS's out of school next year to go on a cruise in the South Pacific (they'll be having 5 days off school). We will obviously ensure that neither of them miss any tests but beyond that I cannot see what the big deal is.

I am quite astounded that people are so rigid about this for children in junior school.

I am in the same situation. The school have agreed my 6 year old and 4 year old the time off. Most schools in my area have a policy of up to 10 days off per school year, so check that out. Also, argue it is an educational trip. Which any trip is in my opinion. Happy wedding planning x

I can't believe that the OP has to justify to other people what date she has chosen for her wedding and that people are picking her up on it. FFS, this country is crazy.

OP I think his parents' wedding is pretty damn good reason for your 5yo missing a bit of school.

Educational travelling is educational travelling whenever it occurs (I am one of those sad mothers who has spent the summer cramming my DS's days with interesting and educational experiences, followed by down time and learning for both of us about how much education and experience an ASD boy can tkae in one go)

I would not however have a problem with trips in school time and they ARE educational. (I fully plan to take DS on a hiking group trip to Nepal, that only runs on specified dates, to ahev teh resources to accept a 5yr old+ - if that specified time falls in term time, then I would only not go if I already knew that his issues make it hard for him personally and socially to miss school)

Our wedding falls outside of school holidays as the date was important to us - it's special for us to get married on 10/10/10

Ohad as to literacy and numeracy being mroe important. My son is 3, he reads books, and does sums. (it's part of his ASD to be extremely able at reading / spelling and numbers) there MAY be good reasons to keep holidays to holiday times, but literacy adn numeracy will not be those reasons for him

I agree Rockbird - I don't often fundamentally disagree with anything on MN as I am pretty mainstream when it comes to parenting. This thread is the exception to that though.