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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to bew commitig benefit fraud

144 replies

skooobie · 28/08/2010 09:38

ok here goes....
im claiming as a single parent but p lives here but cant afford to declare it and now feeling bad> what to do??

OP posts:
Lynli · 28/08/2010 13:33

AIBU I am planning to do a bank robbery this afternoon.

I know it is wrong but life is so expensive.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/08/2010 13:34

If he was entitled to something though, then surely as a couple they would still get tax credits and maybe HB as his income would have to be v.v low for him to be claiming anything as a single man.

huffythethreadslayer · 28/08/2010 13:43

I get that people do this kind of thing and are naieve enough or cute enough to think they'll get away with it, but posting on a parenting forum, full of middle class women (on the whole...if the demographic is to be believed of Boden wearing, John Lewis shoppers in the main...me excluded)to ask if it's alright?? That just doesn't make sense.

(I'm Sooooo far from middle class and know tha a few other posters are too, but ykwim :))

lizardpoisonsspock · 28/08/2010 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

atmywitssend · 28/08/2010 13:47

What you are really asking is am I being unreasonable to steal from the state, ie taxpayers. So I hope that you do know that answer without need ing to be told. Benefit fraud is theft plain and simple.

firsttimemum77 · 28/08/2010 13:50

Haven't read any other posts, just the op.

OP it's called theft. You are stealing from those of us who work damn hard! Declare it or tell your p to move out!

Do not for 1 second think you will not get caught! You will .... Sooner or later... You.will.get.caught!

Chatelaine · 28/08/2010 13:53

OP, if you are genuine, then you really are looking for information in a safe way and that is trying to do the right thing. The rules are complicated and you need to get professional advice. Phone the Shelter helpline (which is very safe) and tell them EVERYTHING. If your P can demonstrate that he has a place of his own but stays over at yours....(hint). Also, there is good advice here about declaring all of your "changed" circumstances and building on that.

ledkr · 28/08/2010 13:57

How about you get a fucking job then! we like many others can't survive on dh wage so I have worked my ass off thru 4 kids breast cancer and child's serious illness and cp.I have worked nights with about 3 hrs sleep, worked xmas and new years eve. At the moment I am working in job I hate and am nearly 5 months pregnant and will be back at work when poor baby is 5 months so why don't you carry on relaxing whilst me and millions of others work ! Grrr

BeerTricksPotter · 28/08/2010 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShinyAndNew · 28/08/2010 14:16

I really don't see how you cannot afford to declare it. If his wage is that low you will still get full CTC and HB/CTB and he will start getting WTC which will more than make up for what you will lose in JSA.

DH moved in with me while he was on a low wage and I wasn't working. We were far better off getting the TC than being on benefits.

Unless of course you want to keep two houses on, which even my eyes (I am not the most moral of people) is taking the piss.

cumfy · 28/08/2010 14:23

Emmylou,Ali40.

I'm fairly sure WTC+HB could be 2-4k on min wage. Even more if living in eg central London.

My point however is that OP and partner could entirely legitimately cost the state as much or more than the proposed fraud, by having 2 properties**.

And most posters don't seem to realise/ get this.

**In effect it is the 2nd landlord who is the "hidden" beneficiary in that scenario, not the couple.

Original poster
skooobie · 28/08/2010 15:16

im sorry if i hv upset anyone :(
im asking him to go tonight
very sorry

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 28/08/2010 15:19

So based on a few posts from complete strangers on the internet you are asking your partner who has just moved in with you and your dc I presume as a meaningful long term member of the family to move out? Hmm

SkiHorseWonAWean · 28/08/2010 15:21

Harsh! So you're going to dump him because it's easier for you to hold out your hand to the state than find a solution as a couple? Shock

Original poster
skooobie · 28/08/2010 15:22

no im asking him to leave, as its been on my mind for a while now. we cannot afford to live together

OP posts:
cumfy · 28/08/2010 15:23

im asking him to go tonightConfused
OK. But why can't you just fess up ?

rainbowinthesky · 28/08/2010 15:23

Skoobie, that's really sad. It really couldnt have been that much of a relationship though.

cumfy · 28/08/2010 15:26

we cannot afford to live together

I'm not sure, that when you add everything up you will be much better off. Are there other issues ?

violethill · 28/08/2010 15:28

If you are determined to be in a relationship you'd find a way - downsizing, moving to a cheaper area.

Plenty of us are aware that if we lived apart from our partner, we could financially get all sorts of benefits and tax credits. It's not an excuse to play the system.

I hope, whether you are genuine or not, you realise how stupid it is to publicly declare that you're committing fraud.

expatinscotland · 28/08/2010 15:28

Well, no, you can't afford to live together if you want to live off the state. But as a couple surely that allows you to get a job as he can look after the children when he's not working.

MrsReality · 28/08/2010 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 28/08/2010 15:35

she's not asking him to leave. she's off to change her name before someone shops her.

rainbowinthesky · 28/08/2010 15:36

I'm sure you're right, expat.

Chatelaine · 28/08/2010 16:39

I will not be "shopping her". No one is arguing that many work hard to provide for themselves, that is something to be admired a lot more in today's society imo. She was simply asking for advice. She may be very young or unsupported in other ways. Evident from OP that she feels something is wrong and she could be doing a better job. Suppose that's true and she has just been shunned by MNers? I Blush for you that have been so quick to judge.

violethill · 28/08/2010 16:42

No one has 'shopped' her. She's shopped herself.