to be bewildered by bidets?

[ttalloo]

I've never had one other than on holiday, and even though I know what they're for , I've never used them (other than for dumping wet swimming costumes in) - I really wouldn't know how...!

I love them. They're great postnatally, especially if you have piles. Cleaner and less sore than all that rubbing, and good to freshen up before or after sex, or after using the loo. Which way round you sit depends on which bit you're trying to clean, does for me anyway. Also good for washing your feet in.
They definitely belong adjacent to the loo though.

I don't trust bidets that squirt upwards. One false move and WALLOP- you've had an enema.

PussinJimmyChoos (good name!) DH from India, live in UAE. Only the fancy loos have them in India (otherwise its a jug) but they are pretty much universal in UAE. I am TOTALLY getting them installed in every bathroom when we move back to the UK. Will be watching this thread avidly for plumbing instructions...Riven?

Finnish loo showers are fab - great for washing bits after childbirth, filling baby baths and scooshing the poo off nappies before putting them in the wash!!

IME of travelling and visiting the Middle East and mainly Muslim countries, if they are so fastidious about cleaning with water after going to the loo, why do they have the vilest filthiest, vilest public toilets?

The floors are always awash with water, containing who knows what, that seeps over your feet and the hem of ones's abaya is soaked. I never use them unless absolutely desperate.

I love bidets though.

at this thread! You have made my day!!! LOL

Can I just point out that wrt POO (as opposed to wee), water swishing alone won't remove much in the way of actual germs. You may dislodge a few danglers but toilet paper should be able to do that anyway.

And as for arse towels - boak.

Tbh honest, the goal of washing with water isn't to remove germs - the whole body will always be coverd with them and you will never get rid of ALL of them.

Its getting rid of all the poo and wee traces so that you are not walking around with a pissy fadge or skiddies around your starfish

Another question re bidetiquette - in households where bidets are regularly used, does every member of the family have their own bum towel? Are they colour-coded so that there are no mix-ups, or does everyone take their own bum towel back to their bedroom?

Just wondering!

Don't use bum towels...that is patting with tissue is the way to go!

Ah but Puss I would argue that it's all in the technique. Just a sluice with water isn't going to sort out poo deposits on anyone's starfish, just as it wouldn't clean your foot if you stood on a dog turd.

So to actually remove most traces you'd have to do scrubbing with soap, hot water and flannel (or equivalent). Which of course you personally may well do, but what I'm confused about is that a lot of people seem to be advocating just a quick douse with water, which surely wouldn't work.

Can't quite believe I'm actually discussing this...

Oh no, for poo you need to clean yourself - as Riven described it, left hand for cleaning ....which is why in some countries, eating or taking anything with your left hand is a no no

Haven't read the whole thread but can I just point out, in response to some earlier posts, that you shouldn't be soaping your bits, ladies. Upsets the delicate balance of bacteria in your fanjo and can lead to infections etc. You can use those special 'intimate wash' type soaps if you really must but plain water is fine.

They are good to use in the summer if you have a sweaty arse. They cool it down a treat

In Japan they have a front facing bidet on the toilets too, which has a time limit on it, as some ladies used to "waste water" for lengthy periods of time.

My DP thinks I've lost the plot reading this thread and LOL. Will have to get arse shower installed. Thanks for giving me a good giggle after a long hard day!

alibubbles unfortunately many muslims forget that the Prophet Muhammad told us that "Cleanliness is half of faith".

Pleeeeease someone tell me the correct name for 'arse showers'

Just googled 'arse shower' and wished i didnt

Portable bidet.

How do you dissolve the fats in your poo with water then?

I think you are all far too interested in your own bottoms quite honestly

Mine is just a cushion upon which to sit.

In FINLAND we have indeed these bidet showers in our toilets. They are very handy and make you feel very clean. I do not understand why som people are so ashamed here about these.