to be bewildered by bidets?

[ttalloo]

I've never had one other than on holiday, and even though I know what they're for , I've never used them (other than for dumping wet swimming costumes in) - I really wouldn't know how...!

[tabbyH]

DH just said that they make excellent beer coolers! :o

I might try one next time I see one now. Always been scared of them! Excellent in hospital though on stitches.

[thelunar66]

God I'd love a bidet. They had them on the Mat Unit where I gave birth and I could have sat there for hours with cool water playing over my lady bits. The nurses used to come banging on the door asking if I was ok coz I was in there so long

[zazen]

I love a bidet and having a clean bottom.

Nothing beats that lovely clean feeling after going to the loo - just use tp to remove solids that may be there, and then onto the bidet and whoosh, lovely and clean, and dry off with a little towel.

I think it's disgusting just to use a piece of tp and not water to wash. How could you be clean? If you got wee or poo on your hand you'd wash with soap right??

I carry a squirty bottle in my bag when I'm out, and fill it in the basin in a public loo before I go in to the stall. In houses where there is no bidet I make sure there is a jug before I go in. I bring my own little towel.

I'm not in the Uk either, and have a sparkling snatch

[BitOfFun]

So you have a pooey towel in your handbag?

[MistsandMellowMilady]

Yes the towel does always get it be it sink, wipes or splashy bidet...

[MissMarjoribanks]

My parents have a bidet. I mainly used it for shaving my legs.

[zazen]

Not at all BOF.. DUH!!!
It's for drying a clean bottom....

No dogs trying to sniff any part of me thanks

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I don't get bidets at all for many reasons, and I grew up with one in our family house (my mum thought it was "posh" so had one put in when they redid the bathroom when i was about 12):

1. How come there is a wooden/plastic seat on a toilet but not on a bidet? Who wants to sit on freezing cold ceramic in the middle of winter just to wash their bits?
   

1. Are your poos regularly THAT squishy that you actually need to use water to get clean? Don't you ever do those supremely satisfying Pedigree Chum-out-the-tin-all-in-one-go type of poo that comes out cleanly so that even one wipe of toilet paper comes away clean. [polishes own clean-and-perfectly formed-poo halo]
   

1. If you really want to wash your bits before going to bed/whatever can't you just jump in the shower and shower your nether regions? Would take the same time as doing it in the bidet.
   

1. If you're a man and you want to wash your bits before bed/blow job, what's wrong with lobbing your cock in the sink and giving it a swish round? Not good for midgets, obviously, unlesss you've got a stepstool handy. I'm quite happy for DH to do that, providing he doesn't leave pubes in the sink.

[DitaVonCheese]

This thread is baffling and enlightening in equal measure. If I got wee or poo on my hand then I'd wash with soap, but then I don't use my arse to eat or stroke DD or myriad other things. Having said that, I'm far more lackidaisical now I live with a toddler and am not particularly bothered about pee on my hands, plus I'm addicted to moist loo roll for artic freshness I'm quite taken with the jug idea but don't see how a bidet can be very hygienic.

"Facing away from the handles is also an acceptable position if the removal of your pants is inconvenient. It is recommended that the former position is used if you want to avoid possibly getting your pants wet with contaminated fecal matter from your posterior." - but who would want to avoid wetting their pants with contaminated fecal matter?

[DitaVonCheese]

PS and don't they encourage raging thrush?

[zazen]

On the contrary Dita, there are raging chemicals in tp - formaldehyde being a major cause of allergy and irritation.

Far better to wash rather than rub it all in with toxic paper and leave the residue on your nethers for the bugs to go wild on.

[thelunar66]

I'm with zaz on this. Bidets rock.

[Heracles]

What's not to understand about a tool for cleaning your arse?

[gtamom]

The only ones I have seen, you do not fill up. The water sprays in a gentle stream to clean your private area's. I think they are great and have it on my new home wish list.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

[teaandcakeplease]

I got a terrible tummy bug in Morocco and finally appreciated the benfits of one, as wiping had become too painful. LOL

[teaandcakeplease]

• benefits

[twoboots]

my mum keeps a large aloe vera plant in her's

[porcamiseria]

The Italians think we are mingers for not having them, we just dry wipe our shit off! nice

they must be great post childbirth no?

LOL at wahwahwah!!!!

[SwanseaSlapper]

I used one for the first time on the maternity ward and it was very useful. I sat on it facing the taps. Didnt fill the thing with water just pointed it at my fanjo

[IMoveTheStars]

"Don't you ever do those supremely satisfying Pedigree Chum-out-the-tin-all-in-one-go type of poo"

[splutter]

In my sister's house this is known as a 'gravity poo'

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

What's wrong with wetting some toilet paper and giving a wipe with that if you've done a sticky one? No need to "just dry wipe"!

[GabbyLoggon]

I have never used a bidet. One of my unfulfilled ambitions.

I am aware that I do post things on the wrong sites. It is not deliberate. I need a mumsnet site coach. Happy Bank Holiday

[BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte]

I stuck DD (then aged 6 weeks) in a friend's when I was out of wipes. It was the first time she giggled...

[StealthPolarBear]

I use wet wipes
SO the people who use a bidet after every wee must spend most of the day weeing, washing and getting dry, right??