Paying for other people's holidays

[woodstonobserver]

I was going on holiday next week to a Spain to a villa that sleeps six with my daughter, a girlfriend and her daughter. Girls only, no blokes allowed!

Holiday was all paid for, but due to family difficulties my girlfriend and her daughter pulled out last week.

Phoned up holiday company and was told that it would cost £30 to change the name on the ticket and that extra tickets were £250. Was told it might be more nearer the time.

Didn't want to be by myself with my daughter on holiday so offered "free" tickets to another girlfriend and her daughter. Her daughter then wanted to bring her boyfriend, age 14, and his mum wanted to come along as well.

So suddenly we had six people, two of whom I have only met a couple of times. Told them the holiday company needed passport details before accepting bookings, and that the extra flights would need to be paid for. The boyfriend needed to get a passport. Finally got all the details and phoned holiday company.

They told me it was now £275 to change a name on a ticket and extra flights were now £500. So suddenly it would cost £550 to change 2 names and £1000 to buy two extra tickets, total £1550.

Told the holiday company to forget it and told my friend we had left it too late. I planned to go by myself with my daughter, bit sad I know, but not worth paying those prices.

Since then been subjected to a torrent of abuse to the effect that I had promised them a holiday and that I now had to provide them with said holiday no matter how much it cost.

My reply to my friend was that whilst I might be able to pay for her and daughter, I most certainly was not going to pay for her daughter's boyfriend and his mum!

Major row taking place tonight! Why should I pay for my friend's daughters's boyfriend and his mum?

Why can't his dad pay?

Am I being unreasonable?

Amy xx

I'd hate to thought of taking my own DD's boyfriend on holiday never mind some random teenager and her boyfriend!

They'll either fall out big time or spend the whole week all over each other.

I wouldn't take them even if they were paying for me .

Right am going to bed but you are on your honour not to take them on holiday before I get back? Promise?

In fact I'll start a whip round, save you £140 by sitting on your cat and send you my last Rolo if you don't take them and just go yourself. That plane will take off powered by MN cheers if you go alone

My friend and I have been friends for years, and her partner has died recently and it is her time of the month, but even so... suddenly she has changed into a different person. xx

I would never expect someone to pay for my holiday under these circumstances. Just go with your DD! Tell them the holiday company have now put the price of any changes up AGAIN and you can't afford it! You owe them nothing and it's their fault their kids will not get a holiday for being such grasping gits.

Ok, so her partner has died recently.
That changes things slightly.

BUT under no circumstances bring the boyfriend and his mum. And get your friend to pay fair on this holiday if she does come, she may have financial difficulties at the mo but she will have to stop taking advantage of you.

Bringing a boyfriend on holiday at 14, FFS! So young that his mum has to come too. Shouldn't it be the adults here be the ones making the decisions, instead to traipsing accross Europe trying to appease children.
In my day etc etc.

Sounds as though your friend is either losing sight of who her friends are, or she's been manipulated by her daughter and boyfriend, or maybe she's acting out of character due to her own very sad circumstances.

Just to add- you didn't offer them a free holiday. You offered your friend space in a villa and a particular set of flights. She then got the boyfriend and his mother involved, and wanted to change flights. You promised none of them a free holiday.

Seriously, they are taking the piss.

You have the option of going away with your daughter, and taking things at your own pace and doing what you both want. Fair play, it's not always a picnic going on holidays alone with your children.

But what's the alternative? You spend a fortune on people you barely know, none of whom will help with your daughter anyway. They'll probably muck you about with bedroom arrangements , expect you to pay for food etc, and be snidey about all the fall-out. Plus you'll still be looking after your daughter (potentially upset by a hostile atmsophere among virtual strangers) on top of dealing with them all.

Just tell your friend that you simply cannot afford the name and flight changes that they are expecting you to make so it's a no-go.

Thanks Inertia, tried that and got the abuse I mentioned. Got called a CUFO! ( of the first order) xx

Seriously woodston, there's being supportive to a friend in need, and being taken advantage of by arseholes.
You will have to say no. It would be a nightmare in a villa with that crowd of users, old friend (plus uninvited strangers!) or not.

seriously, you got called a C, by people who want you to pay for their holiday? and you are still considering going with them?

is this thread for REAL? cos there is no way on earth i'd talk to anyone who called me that in these circumstances, not a word to them, ever again. I would cut them dead.

Majorca is amazing and you would have a lovely time relaxing there. Don't let these awful people spoil your holiday. If the Dad can't pay, it's their problem. Do they think you're Richard Branson's daughter, or something?

That is shocking that she called you that (regardless of her recent loss / any excuse). There is no way I would want to be around someone like that on holiday.

You two would prob have a fab time on your own - I have lovely memories of a 'girls holiday' to France with just my mum and gran when I was about 6 (my dad and brother were left at home on purpose!). Take some good books and it's a bonus if you get talking to other families while you are there.

I hope it gets resolved and you have a great holiday

How fucking brazen Get rid of this lot of grasping so and sos soon as you can!

I dont actually believe this.
NO way is it possible to be such a mug. just not possible.

I really hope this thread isnt for real, as I feel real pity for you op, if this is really true.

Your so called friends are cruel, selfish, and manipulative. They take advantage of your jellied backbone and try and bully into paying out nearly a thousand pound in total for a holiday of 4 people, two of whom you dont even know, and verbally abuse you on top of that.

I dont understand how you can stand for that. Have you no dignity? No self respect?
I feel so so sorry for you. Please go alone with your daughter and enjoy your holiday.

DON'T YOU DARE stay at home and let them have the holiday!! I will personally track you down and knock some sense into you if you take that option (and I'm only half joking!)

I know it must be very daunting to go alone with your DD, but your so called friends are not friends at all and are using you.

I sincerely hope you've told them to sod off.

Surely they can't expect you to pay for some 14 year old boyfriend and his Mother! I am flabbergasted.

Start a thread on Living Overseas and see if anyone lives where you are going.

Don't go on holiday with these people. They are meanies.

The only way I can see that these fucking weirdos people are being the slightest bit reasonable is if, when you asked them to go, you made it out like they would be doing you a favour because you didnt want to go on your own with your daughter. If that was the case, and they rearranged other stuff to do it, I can slightly see why they might be put out by a late cancellation.

However, EVEN if all that is true, subsequent behaviour eliminates that 1% doubt in my mind.

Go on your own. It's Mallorca. Everyone speaks English. It is a v unscary place. If you were planning a Hideous Kinky type trip I could better understand your trepidation.

Doesn't your original friend want her share of the villa covering if new people go in her place?

This is all seems most bizarre to me.

There is an element of truth in what BaggedandTagged suggests, I did ask second mother and daughter to come along because I didn't want to go by myself and I did feel sorry for her after her loss. However that was when it only cost £30 to change a ticket. There was also an element that the original mother and daughter might have been able to come along after all and I was waiting for them to finally confirm they could not go.

Second mother's argument is that I delayed trying to change the booking until the last minute and therefore it is my fault that the price has gone up and therefore I should have to pay the extra.

The facts are however that I called the travel agent on Friday last week to ask if it was still £30 to change a ticket, was told it was, and therefore asked my friend to gather everyone's passport details over the weekend. Although I got 4 sets of passport details over the weekend, I didn't get the final passport details until Wednesday morning which was when I made the call to the travel agent. I was told to confirm by email which I did, and I only found out when they called back Wednesday afternoon with the bad news as to how much had to be paid.

PS I've been down the route of checking direct with the airline, and they actually said that the price went up 10 days ago, so the information travel agent gave me last Friday was wrong. Travel agent now says they have no record of that call last Friday!
Easy to be wise with hindsight. Flights out are still easy to get, it's the flights back on 2nd September that are so expensive.

TraceyBath, yes the original mother did try to "sell-on" her holiday but wasn't able to.
It certainly is bizarre! It's my first holiday in six years and it is a nightmare before I have even left for the airport.

Go on your own, with your daughter. Write off the £275 you have paid and cut these people out of your lives. Hope you have a great time, you sound like a very nice person and deserve a good holiday without those scumbags in tow!

Thanks to all for their kind words and reassurances, I know I've been silly to get myself into this situation but it sort of "just happened" and I was beginning to doubt myself!

The travel agent opens at 9am this morning and I will tell them to contact the second mother for payment of any further changes.

That was in fact what I told the travel agent at 5pm last night but I had since received angry phone calls from second mother to the effect that I couldn't let the kids down. My reply was "they're not my kids" and that was when I was called the C word!

So the most likely scenario is that I am going alone with my DD! I'd better start packing!

You're not going with them are you? Go on your own - your daughter will love it and if you go to the beach and market you will meet lots of other people out and about. And also you will feel a much stronger person when you come back for having done that.

Please do it :)

Why are you even considering going with them? You loon - this woman sounds horrible :(

However it was originally put to your friend, you can only justify paying the extra 30 pounds you were quoted. She's mucked you about with the other demands. And when you tell her you cannot afford the extra hundreds of pounds - she hurls abuse at you ? Instead of just trying to figure out whether she can afford the admin charges herself to get to use the flights and villa ?

Do you really want to spend precious holiday time on people who are a) this nasty , and b ) this stupid? And more importantly, are you going to make your daughter have to put up with it too ?

I hope you can sort it out. You sound like a kind person. But your friends are trying to take advantage here.

wood, I am not sure how you cannot feel strong enough to go to tourist friendly English-speaking Mallorca with your daughter but are strong enough to put up with the hassle and abuse of a 'friend' who in all likelihood will ruin your holiday if she comes. I would have ended the conversation pronto.

It does not add up. Is everything alright?