to think 3 days with mum 3 days with dad is not a very stable routine?

[Patfrench]

Hello. Posted this is legal as well but interested in opinions re wellbeing of DD 2 1/2, especially when older starting school; solicitor thinks child needs more routine and longer stay with me (with visits from dad I would think) - any opinions out there? Thanks

I don't think so.

Bit of a massive ego problem to think that comments only pertain to oneself, don't you think?

"it's even a struggle to get some money from him just for the nursery and has a 60k year job but mention of the CSA got him starting speaking about courts and who would be the resident parent and I got scared"

Sorry but WTF is it with men who don't want to pay towards their children.

I don't think a man, in a £60k job, who splits and does not straightaway start paying what the CSA guidelines are, has shown that he should be splitting care 50:50.

To my mind it shows a fundamental lack of care to discontinue providing for their DC.

I think that based on your OP it is difficult to judge.

Can you share a bit more of the circumstances to your split?

And yet DSDs Mum bitches that DH doesn't pay maintenance despite the fact that we have 50/50 care, she earns more than DH and he financially supports 3 other DCs. Before the joint residency happened DH did always pay maintenance btw.

tabouleh, like it or not paying out cash and access to children are, quite rightly, totaly seperate issues and cannot/should not be confused. The ability to provide financially - wether because of job or because of a serious case of plonker does not actually mean they cannot be a good father in a more direct manner.

Oh FFS. I'm not assuming that your comment relates to my post specifically.

But when you state that shared care 'is often much more about what the parents want' then clearly you believe this is the case more than not.

So, either, amazingly, all the people posting on here don't fall within your category of 'often' (just the rest of the world then??);

or, you think that some of the posters on here are telling porkies when they say they have put in place shared care arrangements for the benefit of their children.

Which one is it?

To reply to tabouleh, I initiated the split - it is a very long story, basically things were not going well and my proposals of talking it through or going to counselling were met with "what do we need to talk about or counselling is stupid" and after a while I had enough of arguments, being called stupid and a derogatory attitude towards women (and ethnic minorities, fat people, well anybody not beautiful white and catholic basically) and simply realised things would never get better and a love-less relationship without respect was not what I wanted. But he has always resented that I split and has never misssed an opportunity to be unpleasant since...
Although maintenance and issues are separate issues, I believe the fact that it is a struggle to get just half of the nursery fees (I am not asking for anything more although it would be my right, as I provide for everything else) does show a bad will that does not bode well for a 50/50 care. That and the unwillingness to communicate in a respectful way...