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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

thinking dp was wrong delaying dds bedtime?

58 replies

familyfun · 26/08/2010 20:48

dd 3.1 needs 11 hours sleep at night and doesnt nap in the day.

dd starts nursery in 2 weeks and has 12.15 start so i need her up at 7am for breakfast so she will be slightly hungry by 11.30 for a very early lunch before walkng to nursery.
i explained this to dp and have been bathing her at 7pm so se is asleep by 8pm to get her ready for this new routine.

tonight his parents visited, asked them to come at 6 as dd baths at 7.
they came at 6.20 so at 7 when i mentioned bathing dd, dp said she will be alright for a bit, i finally got her in the bath at 7.30 and she has just fallen asleep.
dp cant understand why im pissed off that tomorrow dd wont wake till 7.45 and my ne routine is out.

im a sahm, its me who will need to be getting her to nursery on time, dp works fulltime, went straight to the gym after work and got in the same time his parents turned up so has spent 1 hr with dd today but thinks he should say when she goes to bed.

aibu?

OP posts:

LadyintheRadiator · 26/08/2010 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shaz10 · 26/08/2010 20:52

Just get her up at 7.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/08/2010 20:53

oh dear, I'm sorry but you need to unclench a tiny bit.

TrillianAstra · 26/08/2010 20:53

Seriously? She sleeps for exactly the same amount of time no matter when she goes to bed? To the minute?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/08/2010 20:53

Can't imagine how you'd deal with my DD who regularly won't sleep til 11 and gets up half the night.

Besom · 26/08/2010 20:53

You sound a bit stressed out. Are you worried about her going to nursery?

nigglewiggle · 26/08/2010 20:54

I think you need to chill a bit. Also be ready for her to be banging on your bedroom door at 6am just to spite you!

nancy75 · 26/08/2010 20:54

you do know you are moaning about 48 minutes? on just 1 day.
Sorry yabu

colditz · 26/08/2010 20:54

You're being a bit of a twat. Your daughter will wake up tomorrow if you wake her up. And she will be absolutely fine unless you tell her how tired she is all day.

And he is her father, of course he should get a say in when she goes to bed.

YABU

LittleSarah · 26/08/2010 20:55

It can be frustrating to have your routine disrupted, but I think you are being unreasonable.

If sleeping til 7.45 is a problem then I would just get her up. Sadly my dd is usually up by 7 no matter what time she goes to bed!

strawberrie · 26/08/2010 20:56

I think you are a bit TBH, but then a bit of flexibility works better for us as a family rather than a tight routine, and I know that's not the case for everyone.

For the sake of grandparent visit, why not split the difference and get her up between 7.15 and 7.30, or give her a slightly lighter breakfast than you normally would?

Actually I've just remembered that it's a whole 2 weeks before she goes to nursery, so it doesn't really matter when she has her breakfast tomorrow...

Original poster

familyfun · 26/08/2010 20:56

yes im worried about her going to nursery, im pregnant, knackered, she gets me up at night to wee and then i cant sleep and maybe iabu.

OP posts:

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 26/08/2010 20:56

its a one off - shes not starting nursery tomorrow,so its not a problem, just get her up as normal - she wont know the difference

Amapoleon · 26/08/2010 20:56

Sounds like pfb to me, sorry. Don't worry it gets less stressful

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 26/08/2010 20:57

YOU are pg and knackered, so why is DH not letting you sleep and tending to DD overnight?

ask him that!

Amapoleon · 26/08/2010 20:57

Oh blimey I've just seen she's 3. Sorry I think yabu.

sorrento56 · 26/08/2010 20:58

I totally get why you are annoyed but let it go :). It really won't matter this one time and children don't need a bath every night.

nulgirl · 26/08/2010 20:58

Control freakery at its worst. If he had kept her up until midnight I could understand but you are pissed off with him over less than an hour. Feel sorry for your dp

atmywitssend · 26/08/2010 20:59

Oh my goodness, DS starts nursery then too and I've not even thought about this stuff!

autodidact · 26/08/2010 20:59

Relax. 2 weeks is aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages. And it's nice for family to spend time together. Sounds like a very annoying time to start nursery, btw. Why do they not start a bit later?

Tippychoocks · 26/08/2010 21:01

Wow. Mine is 3nearly4 and stays up to watch the final of Over The Rainbow with me, complete with sparkly Dorothy shoes.I have no concept of routines

Half an hour really won't make a difference though. She'll be ready for bed tomorrow night on time, ready for nursery.Which wil probably exhaust her so much she will fall asleep at 5pm and ruin the routine anyway

inveteratenamechanger · 26/08/2010 21:02

YABU - sorry. I am keen on regular bedtimes, but you have to be flexible if GPs have come to visit.

I think there will probably be worse disruptions to your routine once your new baby arrives. And for the sake of your sanity, you will have to hand the reins over to your DH a little more. So why not start now?

I agree that he should be getting up with her in the night - and getting her her breakfast too. Perhaps he could cut down on the gym visits for a while, to give you more of a break?

I can understand why you are frustrated, but it sounds like it might be more about DH not pulling his weight than about one night's bedtime.

PotPourri · 26/08/2010 21:06

I was like this with my first, and am still precious about bedtime times, but there comes a point where you just have to let go. I understand why you are p-ed off, but also think YABU. It's a one off, enjoy the long lie, or get her up, she'll make it up tomorrow night

nameymcnamechange · 26/08/2010 21:06

I blame G. F. and her ilk for this kind of nonsense.

Weta · 26/08/2010 21:06

Honestly, I'm sure you're hormonal etc but you really don't need to sweat this. She may well wake at the right time anyway and if not you can wake her if you want to or if were me I'd have a bit more of a lie-in myself. You still have two weeks and she'll get into the new routine soon enough once she starts nursery and you have to wake her at that time.

I'm not being unsympathetic but you really will have so much more to worry about when the new baby arrives, I'd just try and relax a bit about your 3yo. My DS2 just turned 3 and I think they are so much more adaptable and flexible at this age - enjoy having an older one because the baby will need a lot more in terms of routines and predictability.

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