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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that ebay sellers would leave feedback first?

23 replies

DetectivePotato · 26/08/2010 09:35

I'm fed up of buying stuff on ebay then the seller not leaving feedback until they see what you have put. My part is done. I pay as soon as the auction has ended. Now I find that I won't receive any feedback until I have left the seller feedback.

I got a package this morning and there was a note enclosed telling me that they won't leave me feedback until I leave them feedback.

It makes me not want to tbh, but I do.

OP posts:
NoahAndTheWhale · 26/08/2010 09:37

As a seller I like to wait until the buyer has left their feedback so I know they have got the item safely and are happy with it.

And as a buyer I try to leave feedback as soon as I have got the item.

LucyLouLou · 26/08/2010 09:46

Tbh, YABU mainly because the feedback system is so unbalanced and unfair. It is heavily in favour of the buyer, so really it should be the buyer leaving feedback first IMO. But it is your right to not leave feedback at all, and with a note like that, I probably wouldn't bother.

Megatron · 26/08/2010 09:48

I always assume that a seller wants to see feedback to let them know that the item has been received. As a buyer it doesn't make any difference to me who leaves it first to be honest.

southeastastra · 26/08/2010 09:48

how can they leave feedback until they know you got the parcel safely?

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 26/08/2010 09:51

Because when I have paid up, my part is over. Surely the feedback needs to be left on that basis?

If the parcel fails to arrive and they have proof of posting, then it is clearly not the sellers fault so I wouldn't be leaving negative feedback. I would only leave negative feedback if the ad was very misleading or something.

OP posts:
Megatron · 26/08/2010 09:56

But if I'm selling something, I don't consider the transaction to be over just because it's been paid for, I want to make sure that the item has arrived and the buyer is happy with it. Customer service and all that! Smile

nagoo · 26/08/2010 09:56

YANBU, it pisses me off too.

I think that they are up to something, and percieve it as some kind of 'threat' (over dramatic I know but it comes from experience) if I don't get my feedback as soon as I have paid.

I think that they are not allowed to leave you negative feedback in response, but having had cause to look up the policy in the last few days I've not seen how this works.

Megatron · 26/08/2010 09:58

Really? Why would you think they're up to something? I've bought quite a lot from ebay and sold a small number of things and it's never occured to me that way at all, but then, I've never had any problems at all.

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 26/08/2010 10:07

I've never had any problems either but I always leave feedback as a seller as soon as they have paid because, regardless of what happens after, if they have paid quickly, then that is what I am looking for.

If they then started asking for refunds as the item was dodgy when it wasn't etc, I would follow up the feedback with a comment but as a seller you can't leave neg feedback anyway so why wait until the buyer has left it?

OP posts:
NestaFiesta · 26/08/2010 11:14

YANBU. I ordered a book and sent a friendly email to the seller to say how delighted I was to find a childhood book I had been searching for.

He simply replied "can't send until Thursday (four days after I paid him). You leave me feedback and I will leave you feedback"

If only there were a button for " unfriendly and posted late". I agree with you Detective Potato, I've done my bit, paid very quickly, what else does he want? I felt blackmailed.

Starbuck999 · 26/08/2010 11:29

YABU - It is not some kind of "threat", sellers can't leave neg feedback for buyers, so what would they be threatening you with, no feedback? Big deal!

Who cares who leaves who feedback first, why, as a buyer do you even care about your feedback? I couldn't care less if people do or don't leave it for me. I'm a buyer so it doesn't really matter.

I think the system is perfectly fair, if sellers could leave buyers neg feedback then sellers would use that to ensure that buyers do not leave them neg with the threat of leaving the buyer a neg in retaliation.

If a buyer doesnt pay the seller still has their item, they don't really lose out ina big way...if a seller doesnt perform their part and doesnt send item or sends a damaged item then the buyer loses out financially.

pigletmania · 26/08/2010 11:34

YABU part if the transaction is over when you pay, now you have to recieve the item and be happy with it or not. No good if you are not and feedback has been left for you.

MrsC2010 · 26/08/2010 12:07

Paypal now sometimes makes you wait for your payment until the buyer has left feedback, which has happened to me this last time despite my 100% positive feedback. meaning I have to send the item in the hope that the buyer is reasonable, if they wanted to pull a fast one they could leave bad feedback, paypal wouldn't give me the money and I would be out of pocket.

I think it is terribly unfair that sellers can't leave bad feedback for buyers, it has totally skewed the system, and makes being a seller really hard. I have had non-payers etc etc but there is no way of telling how genuine a bidder is any more.

As such, there will be times I will wait for feedback and I don't feel bad about that, the scales are heavy enough on the buyer's side already.

sloanypony · 26/08/2010 12:13

I always contact the seller by email/ebay message to let them know the item has arrived safely and to thank them.

If they dont then leave feedback for me, I dont leave it for them. I feel it should be left when you pay, personally, because even if the item doesn't arrive safely or it isn't as described, that should not effect my feedback in any way. Its irrelevant.

CrunchyStarlight · 26/08/2010 12:14

Because if you don't pay, you don't get the item. That is your 'punishment'

If you DO pay and aren't happy with the product/behaviour of the seller, they already have your money.

sanielle · 26/08/2010 12:31

YANBU. Your bit is over when you pay them, sellers withholding feedback until after you get the package doesn't make sense! Thats is there job and for you to judge them with your feedback!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 26/08/2010 12:42

It does make sense. Because there are some twattish buyers out there who will leave neg fb that is totally unjustified, rather than contact the seller to get any complaint resolved.
Because often buyers won't be arsed leaving feedback, because they know seller can't leave a neg.
Because feedback is far more important to sellers because no seller would send an item until they have received a payment, so you may still sell to someone with a lot of neg feedback, but it is doubtful you would buy from someone with a lot of neg feedback.

DP - YABU I'm afraid. You've got your item, you're presumably happy with it, so it's no skin off your nose leaving feedback.

expatinscotland · 26/08/2010 12:46

YABU. I pay as soon as the auction ends as well. But I don't leave feedbag till after I receive the item and am happy with it, I don't see why the seller should leave me any until they know I'm happy with the item.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 26/08/2010 13:01

Feedback shouldn't be left immediately after payment is received as all sorts could happen in the meantime.

As a seller, you can't leave a buyer negative feedback so if a buyer is not genuine and causes hassle it's better to leave no feedback than a positive with a negative comment.

If you go to the Answer Centre in the help section of Ebay there are lots of people there to answer questions and alot of questions to look at to gain information.

A large percentage of Ebay transactions are genuine but unfortunately many are not.

sixlostmonkeys · 26/08/2010 13:16

YABVU

feedback is optional.

feedback (if you choose to leave it) should be left at the end of the transaction. Paying is just the start of the transaction.

After paying, a buyer can do all sorts of things that are 'wrong'. They can be abusive, can claim item not received when they have in fact received it, can damage an item and claim a refund, can send a different item back for a refund etc etc etc.
Seeing as feedback for a buyer anyway is totally irrelevant as they can only receive positives, it would be totally wrong for the ebay community if bad buyers had their FB score increased just because they paid. There is no way to warn other sellers that the buyer is trouble, so the absense of feedback can at least give clues.

Leaving FB for a seller once you have received your item and are happy with it is the easiest thing to do, and will probably prompt FB from the seller. Many sellers have it set to auto leave FB once FB is received.

Remember, ebay is about buying and selling items not exchanging feedback. As said above, feedback for buyers is pointless..... unless a buyer only uses ebay to collect an ego boost along the lines of "This buyer paid so unbelievably quickly and her payment was lovely and shiney"

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 26/08/2010 13:19

Sixlostmonkeys, you just said what i tried to say :o

sloanypony · 26/08/2010 13:19

I couldn't give a toss whether I get feedback or not. But I do object to being hounded by email to leave feedback first when I've contacted the buyer and told them the item has arrived and I am happy with it. Just leave me alone, or if you want feedback, leave some for me first.

moomoo1967 · 26/08/2010 13:26

I too am of the mind that I don't leave feedback until after the buyer has left their's as that way I know that they have received the item and are happy with it. If they are not happy then I would rather them advise me rather than leave negative feedback. I was advised to do it this way by friends who had been selling on Ebay longer than I had

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