not to tell XP DS's GCSE results?

[mumof4sons]

XP has texted me 3/4 times asking for GCSE results. DS not bothered whether his father knows or not and hasn't bothered to text/contact him himself.

I am not on good terms with XP and turn into raving loony whenever I text, email or talk to him, so am really trying to avoid doing anything.

I am not over the fact that he walked out on a 20 year marriage and 4 DSs for a married whore who is 15 years younger than him. I am currently going through a bitter divorce with XP.

What would you do?

I'd tell him the results.

An act of kindness is treating another person better than they are treating you.

I would just send a text message with the results and a non-commital comment like - he's done well/ he's worked hard

I would tell him.

Al you need to do is text each subject witha grade next to it. WHether you or DS care or not your XP obviously does.

What harm is there in telling him the results? He is obviously interested? and if you tell him he will stop asking you.

Tell him. He's still your son's father, much as I can see that might stick in your throat. But you must tell him - it doesn't have to be a conversation.

Tell him so he goes away and stops bothering you?

Has he not texted his ds to ask?

Please don't make your son's day about you and your XH, however tempting that may be. If you can't bring yourself to give the actual results, tell your XH your DS did well, but it's your DS who should tell him the grades.

just tell him, list of subjects along with the grade. Then he knows and can go away and you have no reason for turning into a looney raving or otherwise.

If he didn't ask, you would moan that he's not taking any interest! Just send the results, I've e-mailed my son's off to ex.

yes tell him
tell him to fuck off in your head
it's important to your ds that he knows your dh has asked and obviously does care

I would Tell him,

I wouldn't tell him, your son is 16.
So your ex should be phoning him directly, and if your son chooses not to tell him, then your ex should consider the sort of relationship he has with his son.

I think you have a responsibility to your DCs' father, whatever the sorry state of the relationship between you and your exH, to keep him informed of his DCs' progress and development.

Try to be business-like about such matters. You will appear more dignified to your exH, which will give you strength and power in your relationship with him.

I have to say I agree with goblinchild. I'd text he did well which is good because he worked hard or something.

Surely he should be ringing ds to ask him directly.

I would tell him purely because any child, of any age, gets some kind of positive affirmation from knowing his parents communicate about him. I think it is healthy for your child that you can communicate with his father, even if it is at the moment in a very limited way.

Check with your son that it is okay to tell him and then do so if he okays it. To ignore him is being childish. He has the right to know. He is still the child's father and he is clearly interested. Read the relationship topic, plenty of mums complaining the dads don't give a fuck.

Me, personally, no I wouldn't tell him. If his relationship has broken down with DS to the extent that he cannot contact DS then that is his problem. If he kept on texting me or phoned I would just respond "You need to ask your son that, they're his results to give, not mine" and would leave it at that. Be perfectly polite about it, so that nothing can be thrown back at you, or you accused of being vindictive, but at the age of 16/17 I think it's your sons business who he tells his results to. I think a boy of 16/17 is old enough for his dealings to be directly between him and his Dad and not through you. At the end of the day, if XP chose to leave his DS's behind, then he has to accept the consequences of that and if it is resentful and uninterested DS's then he has to live with that, he made the choice and should have thought it through more carefully if he didn't want to be in this situation, but don't say that to him (though you may think it!) just say "you need to talk to him, their HIS results to give NOT mine".

they're HIS results

Did he ring his son to wish him good luck?

If your son is staying in Education, then as the father will still be paying maintenance he has a right to know.

The point is the son is 16...why can't his father ask him?

I wouldn't tell him. If ds wants him to know he'll tell him himself, he's more than old enough to make his own decisions.

They're your son's results, if he doesn't want to tell him for any reason then he shouldn't have to.

However, if son didn't object, I would tell him. Just text a list of subjects with grade next to them.